A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I have a guy friend (JUST A FRIEND). The problem is, though he is nice, he is rather clingy. He always wants to hang out with me. I find it rather awkward. I want to pursue other friendships too and hanging out with him makes it seem like we're exclusive or something. How can I convey that I need space without coming off as rude or breaking our friendship? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (21 July 2017):
 Be direct, matter of fact and unapologetic.
There is nothing rude about setting boundaries for yourself and bringing it to someone's attention when THEY are rude, which your friend is.
He has a crush on you and I can tell you from experience no amount of nice hints will be enough. You have to be direct and that is not rude. It's just honest and fair.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2017): If he's clingy, there are two things going on. He's developing a crush on you, and/or he has few (or no other) friends.
First-off, he can't hang with you unless he's invited along, or you accept his request to go out. If you don't want his company, just decline his invitation. If he shows up uninvited, you have the opportunity to explain that you feel he is mistaking the friendship for more than what it is. You like him, but perhaps not in the way he likes you. He has to be put on the spot, as long as you don't address it; he will take liberties.
Don't string him along. Be blunt, but not unnecessarily rude or mean. I think he is trying to force a relationship out of the friendship; and you have to clarify that it is only friendship, and will be nothing more than that. Then tell him that sometimes you want to hangout with other people, and it may not include him. You want your space, and wish that he would respect that; if he is in fact, truly a friend. You may have no choice but to end it, if he has become infatuated with you.
You set boundaries, define the type of connection you have, and agree to certain guidelines within friendships. That's necessary for people who don't really seem to understand proper etiquette, rules, and protocol. You have to draw the line.
They sometimes take advantage of kindness and pretend they don't know any better. So you lay it out for them, and they will adapt to it.
If not, you end the friendship and you shouldn't play them along just for the attention. You only hurt their feelings when you put up with it until you get pissed-of, lose it, and say nasty things out of anger and frustration.
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A
female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (21 July 2017):
 I think that this friend of yours probably wants to be more than friends. Seeing as you clearly do not want what he wants, you should speak to him about his clinginess and how its affecting you. That really is the only way to get through to him because he most likely will not just stop all on his own. He might take offense but its stuff that needs to be said.
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