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My friend is blanking me. I've asked if I've offended her. What can I do?

Tagged as: Friends, Health, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 April 2016) 3 Answers - (Newest, 7 April 2016)
A female New Zealand age 51-59, anonymous writes:

This isn't a question about a romantic relationship, but instead about a friendship.

I have a friend who moved away a few hundred miles from me last year, but we keep in touch by email almost every day and phone now and then.

All of a sudden she has started blanking me, in fact, it's over 5 days now.

I know she has read my messages as I have got read receipts on my email and on Facebook. She has had some problems but we have NEVER missed a single day of writing.

I asked her by email if I had done or said something to offend her and she has read it and not replied.

My friend IS very highly strung and can "lose it" over practically nothing, but this is so odd for her to simply NOT speak to me at all. I don't know what to do. Help!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2016):

This is just my opinion but maybe she wants you relationship to become more distant.

I am in the same age range as you and I know many people (myself included) that would not want to email someone each day. Family and work responsibilities leave us with little time and a lot of us would prefer to interact with people not a computer or phone as there isn't the same reward.

Now that she's lived there a while perhaps she has made a new friend she wants to spend more time with or she wishes to get more involved in things locally.

I'm not saying she doesn't like you any more or value you as a friend but it's difficult to find the words to tell someone that you'd like less communication.

I speak from experience as many years ago I made a friend at work and we used to go to lunch every day. I would instigate it and then one day she turned round to me and said "I don't want to go to lunch with you any more" I was a bit shocked and said "OK". A couple of days later she rang me, apologised and said that she just didn't want to go to lunch with me EVERY day. She could have said that before but I guess it was hard for her. We are still close friends 20 years on.

Like I say I could be wrong but if you haven't already heard from her then leave it a little while and send her a light, short email with a quick catch up and don't mention the gap. If she wants to have some kind of relationship with you she'll see that as an olive branch and hopefully reply in kind.

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A female reader, Keeley345 United Kingdom +, writes (7 April 2016):

I know how annoying and upsetting it is when anyone especially a friend blanks you. Worse if you see they've read msg's you've sent. This has happened to me too with different people, some were friends & others acquaintances. But its annoying and hurts more if it's a good friend.

If you two have been friends for a long time, give her a chance. She may be having problems and may not be intentionally ignoring you. You say she is highly strung/high maintenance anyway so this may her being just that.

Has this happened before? I have a good friend who is amazing most of the time but...she is a poor time keeper so is always late for things. She is also forgetful so sometimes she misses planned dates, events etc When I first became her friend it used to annoy me how unreliable, late and forgetful she was.

I thought it was deliberate and her being plain rude. But after us being friends for 11 years now, I realise this is how and who she is. 95% of the time she's a wonderful friend but the rest of the time, she lives in her own world....lol I don't get annoyed with her anymore.

Id suggest you leave your friend be for a while. Let her come to YOU. She may then give you a good explanation about why she has ignored you. Hear her out then decide where to go from there. If she gives a stupid reason e.g "oh! I've been busy that's all" or "sorry I meant to reply but forgot"

Then worry. If you have time to check msgs you have time period!

Otherwise be patient. If she is a good friend and truly cares about you...you'll hear from her soon.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (6 April 2016):

Honeypie agony auntLeave her be a few days.

Or send her a cheery up kind of virtual post card.

You can't MAKE her talk to you. You can't MAKE her tell you what's wrong.

I doubt this is about you.

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