A
female
age
18-21,
*Jess*
writes:My best friend has always been very skinny naturally but lately I have noticed that shes lost weight and is looking very very thin. I have been worrying about her as she has always had issues with self-confidence and shes had a lot to deal with emotionally in the last few months so I have been trying to keep an eye on her. Last night we were at a party and we got drunk and I guess that made her open up as she was crying hysterically (happens a lot) and I went to find out what was wrong and she told me shes anorexic. She was saying shes really scared and she doesn't know what to do and please please can I help her. Of course I told her I would do everything I can to help her as I would die for her but my problem is that I don't know how to help her.I'm guessing she needs some kind of counselling or therapy but I know that she probably wouldn't want to involve her parents (even though she should) because of certain issues at the moment so really I need to know all the facts and where to go, what to do and costs and stuff so that I can go in completely aware of everything I need to know and all the details so that all she needs to do is focus on getting better. Please help me to help her, it breaks my heart to see her going through this. xxx
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anorexic, best friend, drunk Reply to this Question |
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female
reader, DrPsych + ♥, writes (19 August 2007):
 I think her parents should know, but if she insists then she can see a doctor confidentially without them. You could go with her as her friend for support - it sounds like she has come to the point where she knows she has a problem and is contemplating seeking help. Many anorexic patients never truely reach the stage of identifying themselves as having an eating disorder (they see everyone else as being in the wrong instead). She needs specialist help urgently as eating disorders are strongly associated with clinical depression and anxiety (...hence the crying). Cognitive behaviour therapies combined with antidepressants can be effective at treating this disorder but she may get treatment and then relapse and go in that cycle for many years. Therefore she needs a good friend such as yourself to find out what the local child/ adolescent mental health provider offers and take her there.
A
male
reader, Charlie84  + ♥, writes (19 August 2007):
Seeking professional help is your best bet. Anorexia is basically a disease and anybody who tells you it's not doesn't know what they're talking about. Unless you can find her a massive support group who understands what she is going through and knows how to communicate with her and her problems then medical attention is all that can help her.
I've been a fairly over weight person nearly my entire life and when I started to play sports in high school I dropped an insane amount of weight but I still felt over weight. Until the person can over come the wanting to lose weight and feeling the of not being good enough they will continue to dwell on their weight and assume that everything anybody sees is a reflection of their weight.To me a meaningful relationship of love is what got me over the whole weight issue because someone loved me for who I am not what I am.
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A
male
reader, somewhat_anonymous +, writes (18 August 2007):
I think the parents will pretty much have to know. How are they not going to know when she keeps going to the doctor. They're her parents, it is their job to help her with this. This is not the type of job you can do alone. She might hate you for it at first, but when she gets better, she'll thank you for it.
If school has started up (and even if it hasn't) you could talk to a counselor, nurse, or principal. They usually know the best routes for this kind of thing and you may even be able to stay anonymous.
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (18 August 2007):
 Hi Jess,
What a fantastic friend you are, and i hope you are prepared for the very long hard struggle that is going to come with this.
You need to get an appointment for her at her doctors and they will take it from there, hospitalisation is usually necessary and is usually based on a closely controlled feeding programme and psychotherapy or family therapy.
Take care and good luck babe.xx.
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A
female
reader, baybee-x-sparkii +, writes (18 August 2007):
 okay...it wont cost a penny i dnt think...if you can take her to the doctors, get her to explain the problem, they can give her a therapist, now as long as your there to support her through it she should be fine...
but i do think that her parents have a right to know even in this "current situation"
i think what she needs is a good friend to stick by her, and by writing what you have on here that proves it
Good luck, i hope everything gets sorted
Sparkii-x
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