A
female
age
18-21,
sofiamorgan
writes:My friend has been diagnosed with an eating disorder.It's all very complicated, and I can't begin to describe why it all started. However I know how tough it all is for her at the moment, and I was wondering if there is anything that I specifically can do. I don't want to be one of the huge number of people she has on her back at the moment, yet I feel so helpless doing nothing...So what can I do? Just be there for her when she needs a shoulder lean on, or should I try to understand it all. She is one of my closest friends and it hurts me so much to see her like this, and I feel like I should have spotted it sooner. I want her to get well, and I know how hard it is for someone with an eating disorder, is there anything I can do?Any advice would be much apreciated, I'm nearly in tears as I write this, it hurts so much to see her like this... Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2008): Hi Hunny,
Yea that a nice idea write it all down and then if she feels a little low one day she will be able to pick up your letter at anytime for comfort and support TAKE CARE LOVE N HUGS MANDY xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
A
female
reader, sofiamorgan +, writes (31 January 2008):
sofiamorgan is verified as being by the original poster of the question Wow I'm overwhelmed with all these replies.
I will be there for her always, and I hope she knows that. I really appreciate all of your kind words. I will not judge her and I will not pester her, I'll just be me and I'll be there for her whenever she needs me. The thing is I don't know if she knows I'll always be there.
Do you think I should write her a letter telling her I'm always gonna be there or something? Because although I'm good at speaking face to face, I don't think that I could say what I want to say well...
She is the second of my two closest friends to have an eating disorder, and I know how hard it is and how distructive and horrible they are. It really kills me to see her like this, and it hurts so much that I didn't spot it.
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A
male
reader, rcn  + ♥, writes (31 January 2008):
 You need to be there for her, and be someone she can talk too. All though there are many psychological treatments for disorders, pain is generally what causes eating disorder. So there's no psychological treatment that can make her feel loved without being judged than a good friend.
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (30 January 2008):
 Be there for her, and don't try to get her to eat unhealthy stuff like whoppers, etc. just to put on weight. Too many people did that stuff to me when I avoided eating sometimes.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2008): I had an eating disorder and none of my friends noticed - my new boyfriend made a comment casually about my never eating and then my friends caught on because i used to eat my body weight in food at each meal.
The best thing they did was not treat me any differently - we just kept doing the same things and I went to therapy and I loved that they were normal and kept my life during this weird timed normal so just be you and try not to be weird if she brings it up great otherwise don't talk about it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2008): As someone with a off-and-on ED and as someone with a friend who has an ED, the best thing to be is a shoulder to cry on. I am a little stronger than my friend in the ED department, and I comfort her as much as I can to help her. There is nothing worse than a person nagging on you saying 'eat eat eat! C'mon you're not fat, eat the Snickers!!!' Me and my friend comfort each other and try to eat healthy. Let her know you're always there to talk to and your secrets are safe with her. Be prepare to carry her heavy burden. Weather it be because of stress, poor self-image, there is a reason for her disorder. Be strong for her. :) Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2008): She is so lucky to have a friend like you. The best you can do is to be there for her and tell her that if there is anything that you can do, then she has to let you know. I would try and find out as much as possible about her eating disorder, but dont go on about it constantly to her. Be the friend that you are.
take care
xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2008): HI HUNNY
Its not your fault you didnt notice, My friend had the same problem you can only be there for a shoulder to cry on and a cuddle, She is getting help now so she has probably got her parents all over her and doctors and alsorts going on so you be the friend ok, And dont ever blame your self hunny you are not to no, with the help she is getting hopefully she will make a full recovery it can take time but you can just pray she starts to feel better soon http://www.counseling.caltech.edu/articles/helpfriendwitheatingdisorder.htmlhttp://www.healthyplace.com/Communities/Eating_Disorders/support_1.asp
Here are a few helpfull sites for you to read love TAKE CARE WITH LOVE AND PRAYERS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, O Connor  + ♥, writes (30 January 2008):
 i had the same problem, but i nipped it in the bud before it went too far. is she seeing someone for this? she may feel like she is alone in this and have no one to talk to, and while you dont understand or support what she is doing to herself, you should offer to be there for her, and listen to why this started and how she feel about herself. id love to give you more advice about this as i have been in the same situation myself. email me if you wanna talk hun, meanwhile just be there for her and support her while she gets better. xxx
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