A
female
age
13-15,
anonymous
writes:My flirting has become out of control! I flirt with every single one of my male teachers! It's stupid, It's ridiculous! And it's is not intentional in most cases! All older men I seem to find myself flirting with them, and I don't even know why I do it. Is it for attention? Because I'm not an attention seeker, I try and avoid attention at all costs but flirting makes me more confident, and I don't know if that means Im an attention seeker or if it just means I like feeling confident. I need someone to tell me how to tone down my flirting, I have been told it is a good social skill, so IO don't want to stop flirting completely, I just want to calm it down a little, people have even starting mentioning it. It makes me feel horrible. Also I get bullied alot, my mate says that might have something to do with why I like the confidence.I dont know. i really want someone to tell me why I am such a flirt, and how to tone it down.Cheers
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bullied, confidence, flirt, older men Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rcn  + ♥, writes (2 February 2008):
 Now, if you were working, you wouldn't be flirting with all the male bosses would you? What if you were in a field like I am, working in law. You wouldn't have a boy client, doing his divorce and flirting with him. Or as a psychologist, working with someone with a flirting problem, and flirt with them.
The key is drawing your boundaries. Keep putting it in your mind that you have a professional relationship with your teachers, and it would be inappropriate to cross that line.
A
male
reader, Chris121  +, writes (1 February 2008):
there's nothing wrong with being overly flirtatious, provided no one takes it too seriously (unless you want them to.)
Equally, whatever answers you get on how to tone it down, none will be personal to you. Being flirtatious is obviously part of your personality, so I doubt you can tone it down without being untrue to yourself. plus if it makes you feel confident why stop ^^.
But if the flirting really is out of hand, then you could try taking a moment to think through what your about to say before letting it out. or direct it to older students rather than older teachers :p
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A
female
reader, artistical_bumblebee +, writes (1 February 2008):
 flirting really is a normal social thing to do honey, it makes people feel great about who they are talking to and vice versa which is why you enjoy it so much. have you ever considered that the other people are nasty to you because they are jealous that you come across so confidently? it takes a very confident person to flirt so openly and there is nothing wrong with that most people flirt subconciously its not unnormal/uncommon. just something we all do if it bothers you so much though just ask a mate to nudge you or signal to you when you are *over flirting* and after a while you will be able to control your flirting. there is nothing horrible about you remember that! just because you like flirting and others don't does not mean you should stop for their benefit. in some aspect everyones an attention seeker, we all love the limelight its some other people get it more than others because they are more adaptable to it, can attain it effortlessly. if others lack your flirting ability you can always give them tips and hints. flirting is natural it comes to every human naturally because it is a mechanism to seek out our significant other don't let others isnecurities bother you life is hard enough without an extra burden on your shoulders.
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