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My flirtation with a 49 year old man!

Tagged as: Age differences, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 July 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 5 July 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

How much does age have to do in a relationship because lately I have started a flirtation with a 49 year old.

He is a very young 49, he dresses young, and he is my mums friends son. We have known each other for three years and really I have only just realised how attractive he is. He is very funny and witty, but he has been giving out mixed signals and I am not sure if he likes me the way I like him. He has been doing some very strange things lately.

He has been standing closer to me, and when I went to his mums house as a favour to my mum, she looks after her, she asked me to find some gravy cubes and when I couldn’t find them, he came along, pinned me to the work station and reached over my head to find them for me, then handed them to me. It very odd being so close to him.

And lately he has been saying some very strange things to me. There was something on the front of a local paper, about a woman of 46 being with a 29 year old man, and he said, ‘look at that, isn’t that disgusting!’ then walked off. Then another time, he had just had his hair cut, and when he met me on the street he said, rubbing his head, ‘what do you think, not bad for a nearly 50 year old is it?’ and when I said it was nice, he gave me a grin and walked off again. I have noticed he does this a lot, walks off before I can really answer him, with a smile.

Then a couple of weeks ago he was annoying me, cos as I said he is a young 49 year old, I tried nicking his baseball cap off his head and he dodged out of the way, and then walked away telling his dog to get me, which is funny cos his dog is a big softy. He also has a nickname for me which only a couple of friends call me.

So I just wonder, while I am attracted to him, my friends said I must be cos being playful is a sign of flirting, is he attracted to me or is he just being friendly?

Thanks

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (5 July 2010):

Tisha-1 agony auntIs he married or single?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2010):

How about just asking him what he thinks about you ?. That way, you can find out the answer, and that kind of question wont seem too forward. If he says he is attracted to you, then you can talk about going out with him. Personally, i wouldnt want to ask someone straight out if they would like a relationship for fear of being rejected, so, it would probably be best if you actually find out if he likes you in that kind of way first.

Bear in mind, though, that he may only be being friendly with you because you are his mum's friend's daughter. I am attracted to a man who is 20 years older than me , i'm 26, and he has been friends with some of my family members for years. He has also said he is attracted to me, and he winks at me a lot , makes me laugh e.t.c, but i think he is unsure about having a relationship with me. This man also seems to act like the man you know. Flirty one minute, distant the next. Unfortunately, we have gone round in circles for a while. I think he worries about what other people would think of the age gap too. Maybe this concerns the man you know ?. He might not want to get into a relationship incase you break up and then there might be a bad atmosphere with your mothers too. Can i also ask if he has ever been married, or has he always been single ?. The man i know has never been married,and i dont think he's had many relationships, which might be another reason why he might not want a relationship, which is why i am asking. plus, if the man you know has been through a divorce, that might be another reason.

I hope it isn't the case that he doesnt want a relationship with you, though. As i said, maybe he is just unsure ?. He might not even be sure that you are attracted to him, so you could also make that clear to him. Also make it clear that you aren't bothered about the age gap, if you're not.

Good luck, i hope everything works out for you !.

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A female reader, Wise Woman of the Forest United Kingdom +, writes (5 July 2010):

Wise Woman of the Forest agony auntSounds like he's into you and the ‘look at that, isn’t that disgusting!’ remark could be trying to get a reaction out of you. As you are an adult, age is no longer a concern and you are in charge of your own love life, so why not take the reins if you need to know the answer and ask him. (:

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A female reader, Moo's Mum New Zealand +, writes (4 July 2010):

Moo's Mum agony auntI would say he likes you but feels unsure about it. Ask him straight out if he would like a relationship with you. Age does not matter when love is involved.

Good Luck let us know how you get on.

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