A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello guys,I'm new on here, first time I've used anything like this. Now to get to the point..I've been with my girlfriend now for 5 and a half months. It's been going amazing. I've never felt so close to someone before and she tells me she feels the same way. (I know 5-6 months isn't a great deal of time but we've seen each other literally as much as possible, spend almost every evening together and sleep together most nights). Please note I'd say this is my first serious relationship. Most have died out after a month or two before.Early on in our relationship during the honey moon period as people call it; I was round hers, same old routine. We were cooking dinner together and she received a text from her best friend Abbie (whom she goes to the gym with and has been best friends with for years). My girlfriend asks me to read it out, so I do and it's a bit of an odd one. They'd been discussing how hot the guys were at the gym and I saw my girlfriend had mentioned how she doesn't mind showing off her flexibility in front of them - fair enough, nobody can resist a bit of flirting now and then. But it did disappoint me as I hadn't even been looking at other girls myself.A week or so later she receives a text from a guy who I know she used to hang around with in a group of friends (said guy is married and has a child). I asked her why he had texted her; she replied (after hesitating) "He's just wondering why I wasn't out the other night." I didn't believe her for a second and upon her leaving the room I checked her phone and saw she had lied. He had actually text her saying how sexy she is and that he likes to look at her pictures on Facebook. I know it's only something small but I've been cheated on so many times in the past and it usually starts from little lies like this. But I really am very taken with my girlfriend and we've both said we love each other. It's making me doubt my trust in her though if she can lie over something small like this, what else will she lie about? Especially as she tells me every time she gets 'chatted up' by another guy. But why not this one?.. I have confronted her about this and she avoided the question first and then told me the text did ask why she wasn't out. Not sure if she was attempting some sort of mind trick. But after telling her that it didn't she told me she didn't want to cause a fight..I just want to hear some feedback on what people think about this situation. Any advice would be great.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI should really add that my girlfriend wasn't aware it was from her friend that she goes gym with and upon realising it was from her suddenly went extremely quiet and was a bit like "sh*t".
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2010): I'm of two minds with this one. First she had you read the text from her gf out loud, so she wasnt hiding anything. The guy one is a little different. I have married guy friends that i pal around with and say stupid/flirty things. If i were called on them, i would pass them off as nothing because thats exactly what they are. But if you are uncomfortable or suspect it ISNT just silliness, then she should stop. Because that is how relationships work.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (4 July 2010):
 Being together for 6 months, spending nights together, exchanging I love yous, don't make the relationship serious. Maybe you have a pattern of attracting mates who would disappoint you later? If all it takes is one guy to chat her up for her to give her private information to him, she doesn't have a strong sense of boundaries. The guy could have asked her why she wasn't out that night but that's not the problem. She has you, she doesn't need the extra attention from other men. There are many girls out there who will love you and would never let you worry about stuff like that. Your title suggests that you are losing faith in relationships but the fact is that you fall into one too quickly. Like you have no control over this. Women do this to me. Relationships do this to me. It's your call to determine if you want this relationship to go more serious.
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