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My first real relationship and I'm feeling smothered

Tagged as: Dating, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 December 2014) 2 Answers - (Newest, 20 December 2014)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I am currently seeing a guy that I have been friends with for just over a year. We met each other through work and still work together now. We started talking more regularly a couple of months ago after he went through a break up, and soon after he took me on a few dates and told me that he really liked me. I do like him, however i'm only 18, he is a couple of years older, and I've never been in a relationship before. Although things have only started to move forward in the last two weeks i already feel smothered by him. He keeps telling me that he loves me and that hes never been happier. We used to be friends before we started dating, but i don't see how he can be saying that he loves me so soon. I feel pressured to say that i love him as well, but i don't really know how i feel. I must admit hes not really my type looks wise,but hes just such a nice person and tells me how perfect i am, which can be quite suffocating sometimes. If it doesn't work out between us then it will be very awkward having to work with him and i don't want to hurt his feelings. I think i shouldn't have let it go this far, i don't know what to do.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (20 December 2014):

chigirl agony auntYou need to put your foot down. Things will be awkward either way. Which is why people always say not to shit where you eat: dont date anyone you work with! You ferl suffocated and pressured, he is moving waaay too fast, and you are not sure you even want a relationship. Tell him, and either he will cool down, or you will end it. Both better for you. Bte, sounds like you are his rebound girl. Someone he just dates to not think of his ex. In rebound relationships, things tend to move quivkly. Doesnt mean he doesnt care about you, but it means he isnt over his ex, so is "forcing" things with you rather than let things develop naturally. Which is why it all moves too fast and doesnt feel right.

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A female reader, misztoria United States +, writes (18 December 2014):

misztoria agony auntIf you guys were friends before, you should be able to have a conversation with him to explain what you're feeling. I think if you're honest with him, he'll be receptive and hopefully slow down a bit. If you let him continue with his smothering behaviors, you'll resent him and he'll catch on which will make everything awkward, especially at work because it will end badly.

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