A
female
age
22-25,
GT
writes:I am 23yr old and i have been with my fiance for 4yrs. Over the last year or so he has become less and less interested in sex with me all he wants is handjobs. I understand that this might be something he is into but it just seems its all about him, we have a good life and i don't understand why he wouldn't want to get intimate with me. He hasn't had sex with me in two months and i could count on both hands how many times we have had sex in the last year when he gets what he wants at least four times a week. I have needs too and when he finally does have sex with me im put off because i feel he doesn't enjoy it and he's just doin it to get me off his back. Has he cheated, does he not fancy me anymore, i know he loves me and he is so affectionate in many other ways I know im a good looking woman but im really starting to lose my self esteem, i need some advice as we are getting married in five months.
View related questions:
fiance, hand-job, self esteem Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2008): Look I'm 19 going on 20 and I'm also a good looking girl ok. My boyfriend has been doing the same to me for the past three months and i felt like i was ugly. So the other day I went down the supermarket and bought ultra sensitive condoms and let him know and I bought Horny Goat Weed for Men and told him it was B Vitamins and Guarana and the first night I gave it to him and the second he gave me really wild sex. I haven't had that in ages. Maybe you should try that or maybe he has a defficiency in something don't think he's cheating on you trust me. He might just lack the energy or testosterone. Hope this helps you
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2008): i dont even want to think of what you are going through,but want i will ask you is Girl what are you still doing in this relationship,its obviously he got his hand to do your job
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2008): That sounds really selfish of him, I wouldn't be getting married with this sort of problem over your head it will only get worse. But just think yourself lucky in some way as some girls are going through the opposite where if he wants it he gets it, because its not worth the pain or punishment not to. Some guys think that it is there god given right to have sex, and when your in a relationship it is expected not spontaneous or because your in love. When you do something because you have to, it starts to take away any enjoyment to the point its painful and hurts you inside because your being used. I know this probably isn't helping your problem, but I would rather wank someone off than be forced to have sex when you don't want to.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2008): I have the same issue with my fiancee. We've been together for about 2 years, and since the beginning, he has never been really sexually active. Maybe once a month. I want more but when I tried, he turned around so eventually I stopped trying. Now there is just no sex and intimacy.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2008): You really have to talk to him about this, your not even married yet and this is what its like, what will it be like in a few years? thing is it could be something natural, my boyfriend went off sex for a few months when he got a new job, I got completely paranoid but turned out to be stress related. I hope things work out for you, just talk to him
...............................
A
male
reader, Ponungalungb  +, writes (31 January 2008):
 Wow! I'd put the brakes on this marriage real quick. Is this guy's idea of "getting some strange" having you use your left hand instead of your right? LOL. This guy needs a check-up from the neck up. Either get him to counseling or you get out the door. I think I'd choose the latter. He's screwy. Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, Dawnie +, writes (31 January 2008):
 I certainly would not consider marrying your b/f until you have this sex issue resolved. There is nothing to suggest he is cheating on you, as you say he is affectionate and loving so i doubt it's that. You need to speak to him and say that you can't have a sex life like this, it seems that he gets all the pleasure, and you are left with nothing. It's all about give and take. Have a good talk and see if he has any worries that could be contributing to this. Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (31 January 2008):
 I think before you and your fiance get married, you and him need to sit down and talk about why he finds sex such a chore. I assume you guys had a good sex life beforehand, as you give him handjobs its obvious he still has a libido.
Ask him if you feel that your sex life has got stale and needs pepping up a bit (maybe he feels that). Suggest to him to share what turns you on, cos your wrists must be aching by now lol. No seriously, maybe you two can pep things up in the bedroom by going to your local book store and buy a sex manual. You guys can read this together and maybe experiment things that a new to you both ,its worth a try. Also you can act out fantasies you both may have and see what happens. Explain to him that you have needs and you feel that sex plays a very important part of your relationship amongst other things too
Good luck Hun, and let me know what happens next. Dusky xxx
...............................
A
female
reader, Serinity +, writes (31 January 2008):
 Hmmm, I would definitely reconsider marriage at this point. He's already cheated on you and he would rather have hand jobs then make love to you? What kind of future do you think you're in for? Has he ever even bothered to tell you why he prefers hand jobs over making love to you? Any chance he could be bi-sexual? If I were you I would evaluate this situation very closely before you tie the knot! Good luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, Annalisa +, writes (31 January 2008):
 You need to address this before you marry the man. Ask him right out why he's not interested in making love to you any more. He must have his reasons, but I would want to sort things out before I walked down the isle!
Good luck!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2008): The getting married bit may be part of it. Nerves? Sometimes blokes get a bit nervous and lose their erection, but have more confidence in the manual version as it is not such an intimate thing. This kind of worry can go round and round, worse and worse. You need to talk. If you can’t talk about this, you shouldn’t be marrying him. This should be gentle talk and both of you discuss calmly without offence or blame. It is a good opportunity to get closer and grow more understanding. You may not like to hear what he says, if for example there are second thoughts, but these are best out if they are there. Try not to worry until you know whether there is something to worry about.
...............................
|
