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My family hates me...

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Question - (1 September 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 1 September 2009)
A male United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Everyone In My Family Hates Me!

I'm boy from Devon and my parents keep arguing, I don't think they wan't divorce but its not nice. My brothers keep bullying me and Have an autistic brother. nearly everyday I cry because someone upsets me and no one cares. I wan't to run away but my parents threaten to phone the police and I'm never allowed to leave the house except for school.

Today we had an argument because my dad had a bill so he started shouting at my mum, my second eldest always takes the opportunity to have an argument when my parents are fighting and he broke my lego sets. my eldest joined in and I ran crying to my dads office to tell him but he didn't do anything. My brothers came in to the office saying I provoked them my dad then tried to hit me so I then ran in the garden and hid under a fence panel. I haven't had any lunch and this is just one of 365 days of a year most are worse.

School starts on Thursday and I said I wanted my parents to be at home but they've decided to go off to Norfolk.

Maybe I'm just a bad kid but if anyone knows what I can do please help.

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A male reader, StudentOfLife Canada +, writes (1 September 2009):

StudentOfLife agony auntI went through a bit of the same thing as a child and I believe that its what made me the strong man I am today. I realize today that it wasn't because they hated me, they just didn't know how to handle themselves properly.

Nobody was hurting me on purpose but I was seeing it as if they were doing it on purpose. I remember crying myself to sleep at night because of an argument with my dad. I felt like I wasn't being understood, it's not that they didn't care about me, they just didn't know how to react around me.

I did think about running away or suicide at one point but I was stopping myself at the last minute every time. I didn't want to run away from my problems.

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A female reader, Msblessed United States +, writes (1 September 2009):

Msblessed agony auntYou don't sound like a bad kid to me. Every family has it's little issues, but no matter the reason for everyone elses problems they shouldn't take it out on you and that is what it seems like they're doing.

Maybe when you go back to school you could talk to a school counselor. It might make you feel better.

You could also try to talk to your parents and tell them how you feel.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2009):

You are not a bad kid. Please believe that. I am so sorry you are going through such a difficult time. Really, my heart goes out to you.

It is so hard when you are young. You have little power to do much, and are fairly reliant on your family. So when there are problems, it is horrible.

I don't think your family hate you. Why would they? If your parents argue, it doesn't have any reflection on how they feel about you. And as for your brothers picking on you, a lot of brother's pick on their siblings. But it does sound like things are pretty bad for you at the moment.

Do you think you could talk to somebody at school about what is going on? A teacher you get on with? One of the counsellors there? They will be able to help and support you, both emotionally and practically.

When I was your age, I felt the same. There were a lot of problems at home, and I didn't want to be there. I also thought about running away a lot, and I would often refuse to go home. I told people at school what was going on, and they did their best to help. So I really think that might be a good option for you to try.

My family life was hell, but as time went on and I got older, things did improve. I can now talk to certain members of my family who I thought I never would be able to. Things have changed. And I know it must seem impossible to believe this now, but things can change for you too. This awful time won't last for the rest of your life. So please, try to stay strong, and please try to speak to somebody, a trusted adult. Don't struggle with this by yourself.

Once again though, you are not a bad person. You are just in a very difficult situation. But you can get through this. Take care, you will be in my thoughts. x

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