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female
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anonymous
writes:hi aunts, this is rather long but i really need your advice. im 18 years old with huge problem, it may seem small, but driving me crazy.I feel like im on a very close verge of some sort of breakdown. My 29yr old sis cant decide if shes wants to be with a 44yr old or a 20yr old. she has a 10yr old daughter whos head is really messed up with her actions. my sis is messed aswell and is Constantly running to my dad and me and telling US to fix HER mistakes. i tell her straight im not going to do it but my dad runs to her every problem. my dad is old at 64yrs old he cant be expected to fix her problems forever, but she doesnt see this.What else annoys me is i have 3 other siblings besides this 1 particular sister and they all go running to her aswell.My dad seems to forget he has 4 other children who need him other than HER!I do not keep well, I have recently been diagnosed as Bulimic and i have very high blood preassure that is being monitored by my GP. No one in my Family know about this as they are to busy with my sisters problems. They hadnt even noticed that i had dissapeared to the doctors for about an hour!i cant handle all of this stress and at my age i dont think i should be handling it on my own. I am an emotionally strong person but im not as strong as people expect me to be. please can you give me some advice.thanx x Reply to this Question |
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female
reader, Blue_Angel0316  + ♥, writes (22 October 2007):
 They may not know that you have any problems that require attention. She may appear to be the needy one. Tell them about your condition and let them know you need their support and love. Try not to be so upset at your sister. It could be she is doing the best she can for her circustances though you might not see it. It is far easier to sit on the outside looking in instead of the inside looking out. We tend to loose our objectivity when the shoe is our foot. Love her she is your sister, give her understanding. Talk to her about her situation then give it a shot at expressing your feelings about your own hardship. Sometimes talking to the people who are closest to you can bring out the best in your life. It can help you to understand that you are not alone in your pain and thet someone cares. "Am I my brother's (sister's) keeper?" Let your family know that you love them and ask them to help you to deal with your health issues. Bulimia is definantly a life alterting and serious disease. Please seeks professional help if you haven't already and learn to fogive yourself for not being all you should be. No one is perfect. Also remember that being a parent isn't easy and it's sometimes hard to juggle all the responsibility that comes with raising children and remaing in balance with the older siblings who might still need advice and/or help. Be patient with your folks and other siblings and most of all be patient with yourself. It's not your fault. It is a disease that you need to get control of. God bless you and your family.
A
female
reader, bitterblue  + ♥, writes (21 October 2007):
 Don't call it small, bulimia can require much consideration, don't subestimate it but don't be afraid of facing it with success either. You say you're consulting your GP and that means you're thankfully taking steps to correct this disorder. How did it appear in your case? Last time I've seen, two girls were having ballet lessons together and one taught another how to do the purging, it resulted catastrophically complex a situation. You have to continue to visit your doctor and follow his advice and recommendations. Now, if it resulted from the desire to have a perfect body or from cumulated stress, you must identify the startng factors and fight against these causes. Maybe the situations in your family are exacerbating the stress, don't allow it so, your sister is probably not yet "detached" from the parents, though she's already 29. It's normal to an extent to be asking for advice so long as she doesn't expect them to literally solve her problems, but there are irresponsible persons everywhere so don't think it's so unheard of. Maybe talk to your parents about your sibling and your concern her indeterminations can impact her daughter if she's exposed to the problems, being too young to manage or interpret them. I'd recommend you to let your parents discuss this further with the sister as you'd probably be told you're very young to interfere and this won't sound particularly good. Now, a health problem as yours would need the support of your parents so I advise you to tell them what is going on because as you said it could be risky to be handling this stress all alone. Maybe they're more focused on your elder sister and leave you the impression they are forgetting you and your other siblings because they think you're more mature, what do you say. You need to distract yourself, call friends, engage in projects, enjoy the support of your family and be sure they'll be there for you as soon as they are made aware of your problem. All the best dear, keep us updated.
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A
male
reader, dapone 1 +, writes (21 October 2007):
 Dear anon
At 18 years of age you have a mature head on your shoulders,it was a giant step you have taken to admit, that you have a problem and have gone to the doctors, i commend you for that, because you have high blood pressure and the other affect of the bulimia, i do not think you are having a break down, it is just the stress of your condition, best thing to do is stop worrying about that, you will only make your blood pressure go up, try and be calm yourself.
As for your farther you should talk to him and tell him of your medical condition, because of your age he may not know that you are suffering, your farther cannot know how much pain you are in if you do not tell him, because he is not aware and he thinks you are OK, he is putting his attention on your older sister because there is a grand child in volved.
you need to sit down with your family and tell them all about your condition, and all the stress you are suffering.
hope this helps you,please let me know how you get on.
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