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My Facebook friend is very secretive. Should I cut him loose?

Tagged as: Cheating, Online dating, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 April 2012) 12 Answers - (Newest, 3 May 2012)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I met this guy through a facebook friend almost two years ago. We talk only through emails and text. I can say I fell for this man but now I want to let him go but everytime I try, I keep going back.

When we first start emailing each other he seem like the perfect man. I asked him to call me and when he did, it was from a blocked number and his voice sounded disguised. Of course he had answers for block number and voice.

Anyways we haven't talk in almost 2 yrs we just text each other and there's always an excuse why he can't call me. He also doesn't share any personal info with me and refuses to give me his phone number although I gave him my info.

Also everytime he tries to meet me something bad happens that stops us from meeting. Its either he gets into an accident on his way to me or he tried to call and left a message but I never received the call or message. I'm starting to feel this person is playing with my head.

I want to let go but feel he's a good guy. What should I do?

View related questions: facebook, text

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I do appreciate the responses of all my readers and want to give special thanks to both readers AuntyEm and Tula . Both readers took time out of their schedule to give me additional advice.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2012):

I know how it feels, like you're stuck and think he's the one for you so you keep giving him excuses thinking time will change the situation, but it's highly unlikely. Trust me for it, I knew few people who things did change for them but only because the guy in question had the gusts to break free and follow his heart, but most chaps are just time wasters, enjoying any attention they get while they can from you. You deserve someone who really cares and most importantly acts on it. Takes time to date again, but just make a real promise to yourself, ought this to you and the universe will conspire to help and change your status for the better. Have faith x

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A female reader, AuntyEm United Kingdom +, writes (30 April 2012):

AuntyEm agony auntDon't beat yourself up...just expect more next time.

If you are dating someone you should be seeing them regularly and be able to speak to them when you want. You should be able to get to know someone really well and share time and space in the real world. Internet relationships only fill a tiny part of what you need and you can never be sure that the person is who they say they are. Internet relationships also tend to generate a lot of unnecessary drama and secrecy, so they are best avoided.

Once you regain a little confidence you can start meeting other people and this guy and his 'mystery existence' will be forgotten in a flash.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2012):

I began feeling like I'm a desperate woman and haven't been on a date in almost 2 years. I truly appreciate all of your responses.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2012):

The internet can be a medium to meet people, but it sounds as if this guy would just rather use the medium than actually meet people. To me, he seems paranoid, scared, insecure or like someone else suggested, potentially cheating on someone's already involved with.

If you haven't spoken to the man in 2 years, why text at all?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I appreciate all of your responses.

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A female reader, AuntyEm United Kingdom +, writes (29 April 2012):

AuntyEm agony auntWhat on earth makes you think he's a good guy???...he's an a$$hole who is lying to you and messing up your head.

Get rid of him, you deserve so much better!!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2012):

I was in a similar situation once, heed my words darling: s t e e r clear of him, he's not only toying with your emotions but also wasting your time. Time which you could well use dating others and finding someone who can treat you right. Give him up, give yourself a chance to find that special someone who is waiting for you. Peace out

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (29 April 2012):

Ciar agony auntHe's married or he has a girlfriend.

Steer clear of him.

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A male reader, Boonridge McPhalify United Kingdom +, writes (29 April 2012):

Boonridge McPhalify agony aunthe's messing with you, to be blunt.

why tolerate this pointless behaviour and go nowhere relationship (if it could be called that).

you deserve better

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2012):

It sounds so much like this is a hopeless case. You remain hopeful against all the odds. He may be a nice guy, or not, but there is no sign that he wants to take things further with you. Please give up on him.

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A female reader, mystiquek United States + , writes (29 April 2012):

mystiquek agony auntDeep down inside you already know the answer...yes, he is playing with your head. 2 years and he still hasn't given you a phone number or shared personal information? I'd almost bank on it that he's married or has a live in partner. Let him go sweets, you deserve far better than what he can offer.

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