A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been trying to start a business since last year, since i am unemployed but lack of capital has been my biggest challenge.Lats month i met my ex, who is financially stable and he promised to sponsor my business.So he wants to give me this money but after we have had sex together.I dont want to have sex with him, because am seeing someone.So what excuse do i give him when i go to pick the money, and i leave with the money but no sex.I badly need this money because i have a child to support.I need the best excuses...
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male
reader, PinkHunter  +, writes (4 November 2014):
Funny situation. Of course he's not giving you money for free. What do you expect.
A
male
reader, Mark1978  +, writes (28 August 2014):
 You don't need an excuse. What you need is to find money for your business from a legitimate, proper source, not an ex who will then have a hold over you. Its bad business sense and shows a lack of foresight. It may help keep the business going short term but in the longer term may be very damaging to get involved in such a way.
never mix business with pleasure.
I doubt he will simply hand over X amount of dosh and expect you to pop round for a quick hows your father later on. He will either expect you to give him his treat FIRS before he pays or he will pay you the cash and then use that to either get more in return or have a hold over you....
Heres a few possible situations....you "borrow" money from him and then he asks you to give him something special in return. Get laid/get paid kinda deal. You take the money but refuse afterwards to keep to, as he sees it, your side of the bargain. Then what happens? Does he shrug it off? Put it down to experience? See it as a pay out to take on the chin and get his book keeper to balance it out in the books? No! NO NO NO!!!
Either he makes demands, or indeed threatens, to get the money back with interest, which may include banging on your door and causing a right stink over it. OR he threatens to tell your partner, family, friends and business associates that you are prostituting yourself to pay for it. Whether or not you sleep with him is largely irrelevant. If you owe him money he can claim whatever he wants and have a hold over you.
Just because your ex is financially stable doesn't mean he is oblidged to sponsor you. Business investments need to be legit and above board, not an ex boyfriend paying out for sexual favours.
Do yourself a favour and get a loan or something, don't make the mistake of making a guy believe you will give him sex in return for money and then, as some have told you, claim you have a STD or make other lame excuse. Thats setting yourself up for a lot of issues down the line.
He will NOT be happy if you take his money with him thinking hes gonna get a good pounding in return and then say you turn round and say "Oh by the way Bryan, have you noticed a smell like a kippers fanny? That's me sorry cant do the bizzo tonight as I have a touch of VD, now must dash to the bank with this large cheque you have just given me...."
I don't condone his actions yet he can, whatever morals and laws apply to one side, ask for whatever he wants in return for his money. Nobody has to take it. Nobody is forcing you to take his money or have sex with him. You either take his money and fullfill your end of the bargain or you decline the offer. Simples.
Mark
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2014): You say you're seeing someone but why aren't you asking him for the money?? Is he not a good provider? Did he say no? It seems you would rather lay your burden on someone else and not return the favor.
It's girls like you who give other girls a bad rep. You think you can weasal cash out of some guy's wallet without working for it. No wonder guys pay escorts instead. The fact that girls like you try to take advantage of someone's generosity with no thought of lifting a finger for it sickens me. I hope he sticks to his guns and not give you the money without something in return.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2014): First,let me me start this off by saying I'm not a good guy. Unfortunately in this world nothing is free and what you're asking for is a hand out with no guarantees of paying him back.I too have been in a similar situation where an ex asked for a loan. I simply told her that nothing comes free and I let her put the dots together. The difference is that she didn't have a boyfriend and shortly after we became FWB just for the sake of having sex every once in a while. I can't fault your ex for assuming you'll give something in return for his money. I mean, come on, you think what he's doing is terrible? You're basically telling us that you want to take and not give. I'm not saying you should have sex with him, I'm saying that you should at least find a way to make it easier for him to loan you the money. From your post, I get the feeling you straight up asked for it without trying to repay him in some way.If I were him, I too would make the same proposal. I can spend my money on a million other things that prove to be more beneficial instead of giving it to an ex who have no plans to earn it. What makes you think that you are entitled to his money without any favor in return? The only reason I say this is because I HAVE ran into girls who would take advantage of a generous guy for as long as possible without ever giving something back. If you're not prepared to pay the price then don't ask for it. Find another way.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2014): After he gives you the money tell him you have an std, lol.
Seriously, do you want money from a creep like this? Please try to find another way to get the money, it's not worth it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2014): This link may help you: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/he-said-he-would-help-we-had-sex.html
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A
female
reader, Behavioural Analysis +, writes (25 August 2014):
 I'm sure you or someone very similar wrote in less than a week ago about the same problem. What does he gain if you get the loan and can't pay it back because your business fails? Unfortunately, we need to do what we need to do - if that means getting a job and saving as much as you can, whilst still providing for your child, to avoid being treated like a prostitute by your ex, it's just something you'll have to do.
You need to be independent when starting up a business and take loans from a bank or earn the money you need, not rely on an ex.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2014): To be honest, I think your both going into the situation to take value from one another, either knowingly or unknowingly so.Why do you want to take money from him? Would you feel comfortable with a set up of a man wanting to take money from you?You said that you need the money to start up a business but then claim that you need to support your child, so I feel that their is an element of emotional guilt tripping- although I don't think you are aware as we all have blind spots. You don't need excuses, you need to be authentic and then you wouldn't need make up reasons for this situation. I'm sure there is a way that you can raise up some cash and take care of your child. Your choosing the easy option that would take value from both yours and his life. Why don't use this expereince to find a way to make it happen, as an oopportunity and expereince to grow in life. Life is operated by universal laws and whatever energy a person puts out they get back multiplied.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (25 August 2014):
 You don't need excuses you need to be HONEST. And tell him, I'd take your loan, but I do not want sex.
Tell him you are NOt a prostitute and you do not like being treated as one.
If he doesn't WANT to give you money without the sex, I would suggest you look elsewhere for a startup loan.
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A
female
reader, SeaGreen  +, writes (25 August 2014):
 From what you have written I'm going to guess that your ex is not the Father to your child. Please correct me if I am wrong.It sounds like he only agreed to sponsor your business to get sex from you. You can make excuses and put it off for so long before he realizes you will not have sex with him. Once that happens he will become angry and will cut the money and/or demand sex/sexual favors for the money he already gave you. Does your current partner know about this? It's sounds like you are putting yourself in a situation where you will get cornered and it will backfire on you. I understand you need the money but is there another way to earn it without involving your ex? You are playing with fire and sooner or later you're going to get burnt!However since you asked my favorite old excuse was that I had an yeast/bladder infection.
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