A
female
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asho320
writes:im 18 and just had sex lastnite with my brand new boyfrend he is kind,nice,gentleman,a bit too quiet and boring,21 yrs old and i work with him. he was not as good as my ex in bed. i feel selfish but i miss my ex bcoz he was way better in bed. i know sounds bitchy but i cant get my ex outta my head. i dont love my new boyfrend at all. i miss my ex but the problem is my ex is 35yrs old, married with 2 sons, and he is my boss!but i miss him!!!!i dont know what to do!!!im so confused!!!how do i dump my brand new boyfrend?it will crush him bcoz he is so sensitive!
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crush, I work with, miss my ex, my boss, my ex Reply to this Question |
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female
reader, DeeDoc  +, writes (6 January 2007):
 THESE ARE MY THOUGHTS: Oh Lord, give me strength. Geeze, first thing...you are 18 and have enough experience with sex to actually compare? My dear young one, you appear to be on a seriously dangerous path. Please, if you care at all for your new boyfriend, take that risk and CRUSH him as you put it. For his sake. Honestly, you would be doing him a favor because your heart is not with his. I would venture to say that your ex is a dead end because he has a circle of unity around his finger (whether he wears his wedding band or not). He should have been 'off limits' from the get go. And at 35 years old, (grrr) , YOU should have been 'off limits' to him as well. I know you are not getting the advice you wanted to hear. But, you asked for it. I would really think about trying to get help concerning this particular matter beyond the computer. This is such a serious matter whether you are 18 or 80. Good luck.
A
female
reader, Irish49  + ♥, writes (6 January 2007):
 The other Aunts are correct. Your new bf is young and perhaps a bit inexperienced. It's obvious to me that you don't want to build a solid meaningful relationship with anyone. Why? Because if you truely wanted this- then his first time sexual performance (due to his nerves, likely) would not have mattered to you. I would think that his kindness and respect for you and his good character would have more merit and help you make a good choice about who is good for you. If what he brings to this relationship isn't for you, then cut him loose. He'll get over it. He deserves a woman who'll give him respect for the essence of 'who' he is..not grading him on his performance in bed.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2007):
wow, you are so out of it, it sounds like a fake question.
One clue- Have you considered that your ex might not have been that great when he was 21?
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A
female
reader, rammsteinfan +, writes (6 January 2007):
 One thing is that you should not go back to your ex because he is married! And he reason why he was lots better in bed is the fact that he is alot older and more experienced! You shouldn't judge your current bf on how he performs in bed....because you are basing your relationship only on sex. It's alot more than that! I love my bf on how he treats me and what he brings into the relationship....sex is just the bonus!!
I hope everything works out for you, and as for your ex...you should keep him your ex....It is not fair to his wife and kids...it would devastate them if they find out (as if they already know)
Good Luck!!
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A
female
reader, CarrieMagdelene +, writes (6 January 2007):
 Your new boyfriend was probably just nervous and wanted to treat you gently for your first time together. Ask him about his sexual experiences, and encourage him if he doubts his sexual abilities. In addition, compare other traits and qualities such as personality, opinions, looks, and how well he supports to to your ex-boyfriend. Sex, as you've probably been told (just like the rest of us), is not the foundation of a healthy relationship. It's a part of it, but there's much more to it than that.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2007): You have to forget about your ex - married and your boss, sheesh. Fact is it should never have happened in the first place.
FORGET your ex.
Why not continue to see the new bf if you like him? Perhaps you could tell him what you enjoy in bed, and get him to tell you. See how it goes.
Once more: FORGET ABOUT your MARRIED ex - he belongs to his wife, not you.
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