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female
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anonymous
writes: My ex bf sort of cheated on me ONCE. He had a good explanation for what happened so it only appeared less cheating and just lying. The thing is he broke up with me, but now wants me back, and he is willing to do everything to make me trust him again.I really love him and wanna get back with him but my big problem is I don't fully trust him anymore, I am so afraid of loving him deeply again because I'm scared of getting hurt again. That's the only hindrance, otherwise I know I love him and we'll be happy but I don't want to go through the doubts, suspicions and insecurities he made me feel before.He's the love of my life, I already forgive him but I can't simply forget what he did, and I'm just scared to have the sick feeling of doubt whether he might cheat. I don't want to doubt him anymore, but he hurt me before, and I wanna get back with him he does too but this is too much for me!
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female
reader, Toria +, writes (4 October 2006):
 We give someone trust and they abuse that trust therefore causing us to be careful and slow to trust them fully again, you probably will never forgot what he did just learn to move on from it which will take time and alot of reassurance from him but you need to work out what is more important here... being with him or not feeling doubt and insecurity in this relationship, is this man worth you having to go through feeling like this until you can trust him again? he realises what he has done and wants to do all he can to have you trust him again, I was with a guy I gave a second chance to and he never cheated again, I never completely trusted him again but I learnt to live with my doubts as each day he proved more and more that I was what he wanted and not wanting to do anything to risk losing me again, on the otherhand I was with someone that never stopped the cheating and was very good at lying to make me feel he meant what he was saying and reassuring me with.
Hope this helps :o)
A
male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (3 October 2006):
 Just don't buy into the crap that once a cheater always a cheater. Thats a woman that been hurt and is trying to push her sorted rational on you. Make your own decision on the issue. I cheated and I learned how terrible it can be for both parties, especially if you love someone. People learn from their mistakes and learn to live and love again. This could be a way of making you all closer and it can make him see how much your love really means to him. Its a tough road but don't be influenced by outside sources telling you negative things. Your heart is you heart and your love is your love no one can tell you or direct either one. Its up to you!!! Be patient and if you love him continue and try to live your life to the best of your ability. Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2006): Putting the object of infidelity behind you takes one strong woman and a huge leap of faith. If you really love this guy, give him a second chance and try to avoid doing what we always do when we've been wronged: Polluting the relationship waters by flinging accusations at him every time he's 10 min. late. Yes, you will have to keep your eyes open for awhile. Quite awhile. But it's possible that he has seen the error in his ways and realizes now, that it's not worth it to cheat on someone he loves. Put it behind you as much as you possibly can and try to love him once more. Be wise. Keep your eyes open. If he's a habitual cheater, you'll know it soon enough. If not, then consider it a minor "blip" on the radar screen and enjoy your life together. Some people do learn from their mistakes...
Good luck! :-)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2006):
Your already decided that he is the love of your live? Hmmm
But other than that you do seem to have a commendablly rational approach to your situation. What you need to do now is to assess how likely it is that he might cheat on you again.
Explain the situation to him up front. Then start dating casually. Dont jump back in with both feet. Make your own assessment if you think you are comfortable again after 6 months.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2006): Sadly once trust is broken its very hard to ever trust the person who broke it again!
Once a cheat always a cheat I think... If he loved and cared about you he would never have cheated in the first place!!
If you stay with him, you will never really trust him fully again. You will always be thinking who's he out with, who's he talking to or where he is??
It will drive you mad!! You deserve better than some one who cheats on you - once or 110 times!! Its better to find out now rather than 10 years down the line and you have wasted the best years of your life on him!!!
There's plenty more guys are there!!!
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