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My ex refused to be a sperm donor for me, but then we had one last night together and it turns out I'm pregnant! I don't want him to think I tricked him, so how do I tell him about this?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Pregnancy, Sex, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 July 2010) 5 Answers - (Newest, 20 July 2010)
A female Ireland age 36-40, anonymous writes:

hey my ex-boyfriend and i were together for years and i ask him for a baby because i knew we were breaking up and that now he was more like a sperm donor i guess and he said no which was fine because at the end of the day we weren't ready or should i say me, so we went for one last roll in the hay and 5 weeks later i pregnant. now i don't know whether to tell him or what because i mean he might think i was tricking him or trying to trap him forever thats what he said that why he wouldn do it.

so now i kinda up a s*** creek without a paddle..

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A female reader, straight to the truth United Kingdom +, writes (20 July 2010):

Do you use any form of contraception when this happened?

If he thought you were on the pill and you wasn't but had sex anyway then yes you did trick him and I could see him being annoyed.

Either way this man now has a child growing inside you and it would be cruel not to tell him. If he wants nothing to do with it then you haven't lost anything because by not telling him he wont have anything to do with it neither.

If he does want something to do with the child then thats excellent news as the child will have a father.

You can not deprive this man of the news that he is going to be a father regardless of the fact as to wether or not he thinks you tricked him.

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A male reader, y007steph Hungary +, writes (20 July 2010):

Just tell him the news, all men who sleep with a woman has to calculate with this possibility.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2010):

Did he think you were on any contraceptive pill or anything when he slept with you?

Are you one of these crazy women who try and inseminate themselves with their partner's ejaculate when their partner doesn't come inside them?

If you answered no to both of these then definitely tell him because your conscience is clear and it doesn't matter what he thinks.

If you did either of these things then I think you should leave him out of the whole situation.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (20 July 2010):

Two choices

1 - Say nothing, never reveal who the father is, never tell him or your child. Support the child yourself.

2 - Come clean and just say that you're pregnant. He will think what he wants to. But whether he likes it not, he's going to be a Dad. Remember, he chose to have one last fling as well. So he's just as responsible.

I think you should go with option 2. At least that way, you'll know whether he's going to be there or not. You've just got to come out with it really. Hopefully, he'll get over it and be a good father. If not, there's always option 1 again.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2010):

wow yes you are up shit creek.... :\ i think you should just come clean and tell him asap. the truth is the only answer.

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