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My ex moved in with his new girlfriend so quickly!

Tagged as: The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 August 2011) 6 Answers - (Newest, 31 August 2011)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Its so hard to explain how I really feel.. I just recently found out that my ex bf of five years, just moved in with his new gf.. We broke like a year and a half.. He's only been with with this girl a couple of months and he's already living with her!! It crushed me to hear that..

I'm still not completly over him..when we were together he promised me the world, he would say we were going to grow old together but we ended things because I couldn't trust him and why be with someone u can't trust right.. But I just don't get how he could move on so quickly and move in with someone that he's on been with for a couple of months, that with me 5 years!!

View related questions: crush, move on, moved in, my ex

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A female reader, auntyR United Kingdom +, writes (31 August 2011):

forget about him and his new girlfriend. Why put yourself through it and make yourself get upset. Forget him and move on with your life.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2011):

It wasn't really that fast - not straight from you to another, there was a break of a few months.

Its clear your not over him properly so haven't moved on. You couldn't stay with a man you didn't trust so you did right to let go and let him move on.

I hope his new situation gives you closure, it wasn't meant to be. The next man you meet could be.Get out there and be happy, learn to trust, don't look back or worry what he's doing, its not worth your energy. x

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (31 August 2011):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntPerhaps the thoroughness of his break from you (moving in with his new G/F) will startle you in to realizing the futility of your hope that he will have an awakening and return to you....

THEN, you can close this chapter in your book of life and get on with things....

Good luck...

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A male reader, mrg123 United Kingdom +, writes (31 August 2011):

mrg123 agony auntHmmmmm I suspect the reason this bugs you is because your questioning whether what you had meant as much to him as it did to you? His actions may not necessarily show that, in fact, paradoxically,. they may indicate as serious rebound. If you too lived together, or he wanted you too, he could be seeking to replicate that in his new relationship.

Regardless, I think the main piece of advice I would like to give to you is to forget him and try and ignore his activities. Your interest is a symptom of something you readily admit; you haven't moved on. It's unhealthy for you and is delaying the healing process. You need to spend some serious me time focusing on you and healing your wounds. Try and spend alot of time with friends and family as well.

If you continue to speculate on what he is doing and what it means it only means your continuing to dwell on him.It's like being stabbed by a dagger, taking it out but leaving a tiny piece in, it will fester, and rot, and eat you up from the inside out. So, it doesnt matter what his actions mean, its time to focus on you and start moving on. I am sorry if that sounds brutal and wish you good luck :)

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (31 August 2011):

eyeswideopen agony auntYou were right to break up with someone you couldn't trust, so pat yourself on your back for that decision. You would have been more miserable than you are now if you had stayed in that relationship. I know you are still hurting but you need to pull yourself up by your boot straps and get busy building a life for yourself. Busy is the key word. Do whatever it takes to get your mind of the ex and living in the past. You are still so young, get out there and start enjoying yourself. You'll be just fine.

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A female reader, totty-flossy United Kingdom +, writes (31 August 2011):

totty-flossy agony auntIts always hard to see someone who once meant everything to us move on with someone else. Especially when you expected to spend the rest of your life with them!

It's hard because you could never imagine seeing them with somebody else and then when you do its not easy! But you need to accept that the relationship ended for a reason! you couldn't trust him and you did the right thing by ending the relationship!

Just because it ended and didn't work out doesn't mean it was pointless! You will have learnt alot from each other and he has helped make you the person you are today, the relationship needed to happen but also needed to end for you to get to were you are today, Look on it as a learning curve that meant everything to you at one point but that ran its course and ended like it needed to!

You can use his new relationship as closure and maybe finally completely get over him! Its time to let go and move on, you don't have to meet someone else just yet, if your happy doing your own thing then carry on, let love find you and when it does you wont even remember the pain from your ex and the break up!

Accept that its over and try not to think of him too much, eventually you wont hurt anymore and everything will have worked its self out and you will be much happier!

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