A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello aunts and uncles.. Ok so my situation is I broke up with my bf 2 years ago.. I'm still not completely over him he was my first bf I took home to meet my family I lost my virginity to him..were together for 5 years.. The first 2 1/2 were on and off..well towards the end of our relationship we both knew it was gonna work out due to his drug and alcohol use.. He was even trying to get me to be just like him.. So he knew I was getting tired of it.. And well since he knew I've only had sex with him he would start telling me that its not gonna feel the same no one will satisfy me like him.. And that no guy will like having sex with someone that is not experience because I've only been with one person.. and he would start putting me down.. So now that I'm sort of seeing someone and we have gotten to the point were we're about to have sex and I start thinking of what my ex use to tell me that I get scared and insecure and stops me from doing anything and my new guy gets a lil upset because when he asks me what wrong I just say I'm not in the mood and I leave.. How can I stop this insecurity do I tell my new guy the reason? What should I do? Thanks for the advise and the time for reading..
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broke up, in the mood, insecure, lost my virginity, move on, my ex Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2011): I would say this is an obvious emotional manipulation on the side of your ex. And it's quite natural that your self-confidence went down. But - head up! It's just an empty talk. I would talk to my new bf and tell him the true and together go over it. As Susie said, if he is a nice guy, it won't be a bit of a problem.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, Aunty Susie  +, writes (4 August 2011):
 You should talk to the new guy, explain that you have had you confidence stomped on. If he is a nice guy, he will be understanding and help you get over the past. But you have to let him know what's going on with you, or he won't be around for long. Let go of the past, and look to the future, which could be fantastic, if you don't let the ex have an influence on your way of thinking.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2011): Don't listen to him! My ex used to make me feel like I'd never be good enough for someone else, especially sexually.
However, my current boyfriend--who, might I add, is WAY more experienced than me; he's been through his manwhore stage--told me I'm the BEST lover he's had. And my boyfriend is the best lover I've had! And in every other way, we're good together.
Don't let your ex's comments float around in your head and see for yourself what works for you. :)
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