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My ex keeps texting me wanting an explanation for why I broke up with him

Tagged as: Breaking up, Cheating, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 January 2013) 7 Answers - (Newest, 23 January 2013)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My ex boyfriend and I broke up October last year, but it was a long drawn out process of being off and on since April. He cheated on me back then and I still loved him but couldn't trust him, realised I needed some space. Eventually when we done nothing but argue and I had lost love for him I decided to end it.

The problem is I have now moved on with someone else but he keeps messaging me saying he wants an explanation for why I treated him so badly. Because I was never really there for him after he cheated. Also I'm a very private person because in a previous relationship when my ex left I lost all my friends because they were people I knew through him... So I liked to keep my friends and boyfriend separate, he has taken this as a major thing against him and that i'm embarressed of him.

I suffer with depression and I dont think he ever really understood the way it effected me either.

I suppose my question is how can I get him to stop contacting me? I feel awful that he's taken the break up so badly and is still in love with me, but I don't want him anymore, he wasn't right for me at all.

I've tried to explain things to him but he just says I've messed him up and keeps messaging.

Help please, thanks

Ace

View related questions: broke up, cheated on me, my ex, text

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A female reader, Denise32 United States +, writes (23 January 2013):

Denise32 agony auntI recommend phoning him one last time and telling him flat-out "You want to know why I ended it? It's because you cheated on me while we were together and I could no longer trust you. That is ALL the explanation you're going to get. I do not want you to contact me again, under any circumstances. Is that understood?"

Give him a moment to respond but DON'T permit him to pester you into a long drawn-out discussion. If he attempts more than a one or two sentence reply, hang up on him.

As others have said, you owe him NOTHING. Change your email, block him from your phone, and if necessary change the locks on your home.

Good luck.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (23 January 2013):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntRead SVC's response..... Do you "get it?" If not, then read it, again and again, until you do (get it).....

Then, you can get on with your life....

Good luck....

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (23 January 2013):

kenny agony auntThe other three posts are right, you owe him absolutely nothing. He broke the trust boundries by being unfaithful to you now he has got to live with the consequences, which is he has lost you. You have moved on with your life now, your happy and with someone else. Tell him one last time that you and him will never be in a relationship ever again and to stop contacting you.

Good luck

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (23 January 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntPersonally if you have explained it once or more you owe him nothing else.

Tell him this "I am telling you one last time, you cheated. I ended it. it's over it's done i wish no further contact"

then:

Block his number.

Block his email

block him on social media

If she bothers you at work or home or any other way, he's harassing you and the police should become involved.

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (23 January 2013):

person12345 agony auntWhy do you owe him an explanation for why you "treated him badly after he cheated?" He's already explained it to himself, it's because he cheated. Block his number and move on. He's just harassing you now.

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A female reader, oldbag United Kingdom +, writes (23 January 2013):

oldbag agony auntHi

You don't owe him an explanation, you finished it, he cheated,you do not trust him.If he can't get his head round that its his problem,not yours.

Enjoy your new relationship and ignore your Ex.

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A female reader, cute angel Australia +, writes (23 January 2013):

cute angel agony auntYou're acting like the victim when it's not you but your ex boyfriend..you have moved on well good for you, but your boyfriend needs closure as simple as that! So you need to go to him straight up tell him why you dumped him and you have moved on and he should do, wish him the best..that's the least you could do!!

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