New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244947 questions, 1084259 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

My ex is a nice guy. But I love another. How do I get my ex to honor my request to cut all ties?

Tagged as: Dating, The ex-factor, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 October 2015) 2 Answers - (Newest, 14 October 2015)
A female United States age 30-35, *upid78 writes:

Hi,

I was in a relationship with my ex for 3 years but things came crumbling down because he wanted to settle down and I loved him but I was not "in love" with him to marry him and I did not see myself spending the rest of my life with him.

I wanted to find love too and after a while I met a man and from day 1 our chemistry was intense the more we got to know each other the more we fell for each other and I can now tell the world that I have finally found love and wish to marry this man!so the man I'm with now

Let's call him mark. He asked about my ex lets call him Verdi .

Now although I was not in love with Verdi he was a very nice guy and treated me well.which makes mark think I still have a soft spot and I make mark feel Inferior to Verdi as I'm always supporting Verdi but it's not true

I love mark.

Yes I think Verdi is a nice guy.

Mark is amazing and I want to spend my life with him..how do I assure him that he has nothing to feel jealous or insecure about this whole Verdi issue?

It is creating a lot of tension between us also Because Verdi still calls me and wants to get back with me and I have blocked him and asked him to never contact me as I am with someone.what do I do?

View related questions: insecure, jealous, my ex

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A male reader, BrownWolf Canada +, writes (14 October 2015):

BrownWolf agony aunt

The only person creating tension is you. An ex is just that...an ex. As in extinct, extinguish, expire...in other words...you never go back to eat your own vomit. If it did not workout...move on and find someone better.

Never understand why people love going backwards to something they had, rather than moving forward to something new and hopefully better.

NEVER GO BACK...The past is the past...done and gone...why hold on to it???

You said it yourself...."Mark is amazing and I want to spend my life with him"

So how are you going to spend the rest of your life (which is in the future) with a man if you are looking back to the past??

Be thankful for the experience, and the lessons learned...take the good to your next relationship, take the bad and throw it in the far away, never to be seen again garbage.

Soft spots...are weak spots that can be used against you.

<-- Rate this answer

A reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2015):

Hi!

The best way to handle this is going NC (No Contact) with your Verdi guy. Don't answer his calls or entertain his requests of patching up. Some men need a lot of time to accept the real scenario and move on (And 3 years is quite some long time). NC will enable the three of you to lead a peaceful life. Verdi might be a nice guy, but Mark is the man you chose to be with. Keep that in mind. No amount of request did help an ex to leave (saying that from my personal experience).

Good luck!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "My ex is a nice guy. But I love another. How do I get my ex to honor my request to cut all ties?"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0312554000047385!