A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was in a relationship with my girlfriend for almost two years. Recently, she suggested that we break up because due to reasons that I would prefer not to disclose. However, I still believed that she was the only person in the whole world for me, and we told each other that we loved each other very much and told each other that we were special to each other over and over. So, all in all, it was basically an unofficial relationship, in name only.However, she was starting to act suspiciously a few weeks after we stopped officially being in a relationship. I was worried that she was having an affair and I'd ask her over and over. She promised that she'd never lie to me again due to something she did a while ago, but she said she wasn't having an affair. When I got really worried about her having an affair, she got angry at me and ignored me for around a week.Once she came back after a week, she told me that she had sex with someone the day I asked her about the affair. Not only that, she also lied to me about what she was doing when I texted her on that day - she told me she was at work, but she was about to have sex. She gave me gratuitous details to make me believe that she had an affair, but the only thing it did was make me even more upset.Now she regrets it and wants to become friends again, but I'm heart broken over what she did and I don't really think I can ever trust anyone again. What should I do? Am I overreacting?
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affair, at work, cheated on me, ex girlfriend, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, benny boy  +, writes (25 July 2011):
Sounds tough, and I know how it feels to like someone so much but they dont put the same into it. You need to be strong and learn from this as you are still young. It sounds like you have more feelings for her than she does for you and what she has done is taken advantage of what she had. Trust is an important thing, but remember, not everyone does things like what she has done.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2011): OP i know that you have been roasted by the others however I am in agreement with Bernard...........your gf cheated on you. she lied to you and she did what she wanted to do..then she came back to you.....dont waste your time and life on her.you are young.......move on. you deserve better than this cheater.
what happens next time she wants to have sex with another guy.....she will "break up" just to have sex and then she will want to come back to you..........hell NO....you deserve better and you are better.
can u trust her again......NO
friends with her again.....NO
this girl will become a toxic person in your life if u allow her. break up for good and go find a proper, better gf
LoveGirl
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A
female
reader, JADEYSPADEY93 +, writes (24 July 2011):
Break-ups are always really hard, especially when you weren't the one who initially wanted to break up. It's understandable that you're upset about her seeing someone else, you were together for a very long time and things like that are hard to stomach especially with it being so soon. The best thing to do now would be to distance yourself from her until you're over your relationship with her and then if you feel ready for it you can try to be friends. She's moving on now and so should you.
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A
male
reader, Tom Obler +, writes (24 July 2011):
 You had broken up. She immediately found a new partner but that was her business I'm afraid. I could understand that you would be sad about that but there is nothing you can do about it. I would definitely move on now and try not to keep in touch with her because it obviously distresses you to hear about her exploits.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2011): She didn't cheat on you if you had already broken up.
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A
female
reader, GeeGee255 +, writes (24 July 2011):
 Three things:
1. You have to be married before one can be considered to have had an affair.
2. If you were not even officially going steady, then she did not cheat on you.
3. She may have been your first love, but she won't be your last. It was never meant to last forever at your age. I know it's hard but you need to let her go and move on with your life.
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