A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I recently asked my ex to payback some money he owes me. It's not much (150 dollars) but still, I think it is only fair he pays me back. I know he is strapped on cash and I am doing much better financially, but I don't understand how someone could think it is okay to borrow money and not pay someone back. When I loan him the money a few month back and we were still together, we had an agreement that it was a loan. Now, he doesn't respond to emails (I've sent two) and I have not seen a dime. Why is he ignoring me? The breakup was his fault (he was talking to another girl) so I just don't understand what gives. So incredibly angered.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks CindyCares:)
The guy is exactly what you painted him out to be though. In this last conversation he had the nerve to blame me for his infidelity. In any case, I have helped him financially several times (without any conditions of a payback), so this really is the least he could do. If I hadn't called, he would have ignored me and I would have never been paid back.
Good to have him gone with the wind!!!
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (26 August 2014):
 Yay !! Congratulations ! I don't know if you realize how lucky you are , when people are dead set on screwing you over, it's not a single phone call which will change their mind... I guess that all in all this guy has a bit of conscience and he is not as bad as we had painted him at DC :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUpdate: I ended up calling him and got my money back!!! Yay!!! It was clear that he was not intending to send me a cent back but I think calling him did the trick. Glad he is out of my life and justice is served!
Again, thanks to you all for your support on this one.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much aunties and uncles. You all helped me feel much better about the whole situation.Next time I will be much more guarded about loaning money. I so appreciate all of you responding though!!! You mad me feel less nuts about the situation.
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female
reader, Staceily +, writes (18 August 2014):
 Why is he ignoring you? Because he does not intend to pay you back and in his mind ignoring you will eventually make you shut up and go away. He doesn't care what he owes you. And I'm sure you are more upset by his actions regarding the situation than you are about it being $150. It feels like being taken advantage of and it's not okay. But in this case there's nothing more you can do here. He is a loser who got $150 out of you, accept the loss. He has financial issues to where he needed a very small loan from his girlfriend and he acts like an irresponsible child. This is the only 'victory' he will have over you. Just pity him and move on.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2014): I feel so sorry for you. Never ever take back your ex again.
Email? He does not even have the decency to call you and explain things to you over the phone. That is so cheap.
Im sorry. Its very stressful he should pay you but if i were you i will not talk to him again.
I will ask someone to get my money from him. If i were you. Or just forget about it. Why because i dont waste my time with people who does not deserve it.
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A
male
reader, lifesgreat  +, writes (18 August 2014):
Its either spite or just being awkward for the fun of it .
But none the less sounds like you are better off with out him so well done on that .
As for your money I don't really think you can do anything about it unless you both signed some paper agreement before but I doubt that.
so maybe be positive that you found out he is an ass before marrying him? goodluck
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2014): I had the same with my ex. I'd even gone to the lengths of drawing up a written agreement so there couldn't be any misunderstanding that this was a loan. At the end of the day, when I asked her for the money back (after we'd split), she got really nasty about it and accused me of using it to punish her.
It wasn't a huge amount of money (£150) and I could afford to lose it, so I just let it go. It was easier than dealing with all the drama involved in trying to get it back. If your ex wants to pay you back, they'd have done so, or at least let you know when they will. If they're avoiding your calls/you, then I'd just write it off.
I've learnt to never lend any money that I can't afford to lose.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (18 August 2014):
 You may take your place in the line of ooodles of people who have "lent" money to friends/family/partners/lovers and who are never going to see repayment...
The prevailing wisdom is: "Only lend money to someone (the list above) if you can honestly say to yourself that you half-expect that you are never going to see it again."
Sorry for your loss (the money; NOT the ex-)....
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (18 August 2014):
I am afraid that you might as well set your heart at rest and kiss your 150 goodbye.
I don't think it depends from the state of your relationship now ( broken up ) or from him being angry or anything like that.
That's simply the person he is : dishonest, unreliable and irresponsible.
If he was a decent person, no matter in what terms you have parted, he'd own his responsibility to pay you back, and he'd do cartwheels for doing it, once he is being asked after MONTHS. He'd sell personal belongings, he'd borrow from another friend to pay you back, he'd look for a second job... AND, he would never just ignore you. If he really could not come up with the cash , he'd answer you promptly and he would tell you : look, terribly sorry, but I am strapped for cash right now, this is what I am going to do to get the money, ( add plan ) but it will take me ( add time ) , please be patient and forgive me.
Or, it would offer to pay you back in small, manageable installments, even just 5 bucks a week- anything as long as it decreases his debt.
But, being the person that he is, which unluckily you did not realize before he was put on the spot... he is just shrugging it off and saying to himself " Let the ritch b...h moan,- she can't do anything to me. Eventually , she'll get over it ".
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