A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Dated my ex boyfriend for 6 months, and we admittedly rushed into things which was probably where we went wrong. We’ve been split up about a month now and he’s messaging my friend, but the girl herself hasn’t told me, one of our friends has. I’m annoyed but I don’t know if I should have the right to be. They never have a reason to message each other as they had only met through me and had never spoken before or during our relationship. We haven’t spoken at all and I’m not going to ask him outright, or her. Any Advice?
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female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (2 May 2018):
 Firstly, your friend who hasn't told you; isn't much of a friend so be careful who you let into your inner circle. This is a girl code issue.
Next, I think that you should leave the two of them to go and live happily ever after; don't let this ruin you or cause you to lose sleep. Focus on more important things and let them have each other. That's all that you can do at this point.
A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (30 April 2018):
 Nothing you can do.
You guys are over but it makes you wonder is it time to think about who you class as friends? Someone who respected you more wouldn’t chat to your ex.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (30 April 2018):
 Your relationship is over. He is not your property, just as you are not his.
You have no idea what they are messaging about, and leave it that way. You have better things to bother your head about.
Next time the "friend" who's hell bent on causing a bit of drama and stirring things tells you about him messaging your friend, smile sweetly and say "not interested" - and mean it. In your shoes I would be questioning just what sort of a friend she is to you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2018): I have been on DC for quite a few years. One of the things I often warn people about is TMI! Too much information to the wrong people outside the relationship can comeback to bite you in the ass! It's okay to vent to your bff; but you have to pick and choose your information.
If you consistently and persistently kept your friend in your loop of relationship-drama; you've over-familiarized her with your boyfriend. Providing details about him she may find attractive. She may have had her eye on him from day-one.
If there was ever a hidden-jealousy over your brief relationship; it gives a snake a golden-opportunity to stab you in the back. Now she thinks she knows him as good as you do; therefore, she may empathize with him over you. Perhaps even thinking she'd be a better girlfriend for him than you were. He doesn't need her to console him; she's supposed to be YOUR friend. Some parasites only tag-along for your scraps! Like a lamprey to a shark!
Moral to the story. Don't air your dirty laundry.
Bad-mouthing your ex to your best-friend is sometimes inadvertently introducing them to their next love-interest. You've peaked their curiosity, and make them want to know the other side of the story. That gives them the opportunity to choose sides, or the ammunition to sabotage your relationship. Keep third-parties out of your business!
Sometimes exes reach-out to your friends to spy on you. Sometimes to spite you. To maintain a connection and/or to stay one-step ahead of any plots you've got in-mind. Self-preservation, if you're the psycho vengeful-type.
I'd keep my distance from both of them. If they decide to date, it's none of your business. You're both single, and your options are open. It is what it is. You should stop your friend(s) from spying on them. The less you know, the better-off you are. You need to move on!
That two-faced so-called friend, is not a friend. She's a back-biter. If she lets a man come between you as friends, let her have him. They've both shown you what their true-colors are, and where all loyalties lie. She was supposed to be on your side. If they are exchanging clandestine-communications; your bestie is sleeping with the enemy. In so many words!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (30 April 2018):
 I wouldn't bother.
He doesn't OWE you to NOT talk to your friend. Your friend is obviously NOT that good of a friend of yours as SHE hasn't told you.
So personally, I would chalk this up to a "eh he and I weren't a good fit anyway, she can have my leftovers if she wants"... and then don't worry about it.
You two only dated for 6 months. You weren't a good fit. He then moved on to your friends.
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