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My ex-boyfriend doesn't know what he wants from our relationship...

Tagged as: The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 October 2005) 31 Answers - (Newest, 9 December 2010)
A female , *rokenhearted writes:

My ex boyfriend rung me yesterday and told me how he was really confused and wanted to meet up with me. I declined as I knew we'd end up in bed together and we'd wake up the next morning and he'd still not know what he wanted from me. He rung again later and chatted to me for ages about how he felt and how although he did love me he didn't think that we'd ever work out!

I love him to pieces but I'm getting tired of him going all hot and cold on me. He either wants me or he doesn't. Should you not know when you want someone?? Is anyone else in same situation? Should I just leave him be?

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A female reader, cutiepie25 United States +, writes (9 December 2010):

cutiepie25 agony auntJeez, I'm not the only one!! Its funny how so many women can relate to each other and band together to become stronger people. I, too, am plagued by the bad breakup between my ex boyfriend and I. Together a little over two years and so far three days broken up. Its total hell. I know he loves me but we are just too different. I never thought we were that different until I got pregnant and we ended up moving in together. Hhe is a really good person on the inside, but sadly he wasn't and still isn't ready to grow up and be a "familly man". Which in my opinion he was never really a true man in the first place. I love him too but I am always so pissed off with him because he leaves the house everytime we have a tiny argument or disagreement because he "just doesn't wanna hear it". Not sure if that was the stoner in him talking or what but it got really annoying. And I got pretty bitchy when he just wasn't listening to meor what I had to say. I know we are through with each other but I'm so mad and hurt that I wanna get revenge, but I know that's stupid too. Shit, it sucks cuz we still live together and he says he can't stay at the house because he can't resist me cuz I'm soo damn beautiful. Fuck that. He is such a liar. I might just have sex with him one more time and then when I'm good and finished ill get off him and say get the fuck out blue balls. How does that make you feel. Hahahahahaha

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2010):

it really hurt..

now he sent me a text message on sat night saying that he wants a good blowing.. i ignored it and finally i called on sunday saying to him that i wont do it and laughed at him.

i havent heard from him..

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (17 October 2010):

Aunty BimBim agony auntHe is an arsehat! Just forget about his machinations and game playing, he is trying to press your buttons, tell him to shove off back to his sugar mommy and that you dont need a silly twat like him cluttering up your life.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2010):

we bought a house together and after 20 days of living together i came from an appointment and found a note on top of a counter that he couldnt handle his chest pains that he'll stay wtih someone else and he always loves me.

as a new house owner, i had no idea of what the responsibilities entails, the bills were coming in the ying yang, the family death, the change of job .. too much all in one month. since i took all financial accountability because my exs company was not doing well at the same time. however there was an unexpected financial crisis with income tax and as a back up i asked my ex to assist with bills.. he looked at me and i remember the look that he didnt care..

on top of that.. i kept it htis comment for weeks. one of my friends told me that its great that my ex found himself a sugar mommy... that realy hurt ... so one day i was so upset and told my ex about that comment (It was hurting me so bad and i couldnt contain anymore) i am the type of person that keeps things to myself but i had no one to vent to.. my ex got upset about that comment...

i came home one day and found a note on the counter and all his shit was gone. he told me it was a set back...

text messages were going back and forth.. i literally stopped mesaging him then at the beginning of this month he sent me an IM... it was the old person that i fell in love with...

this morning i got a text indicating he wanted a "back rub and if i could do it" so to me it was just a massage i didnt think nothing of it.. and told him that i was busy and to text me later and i could come to his mothers house... then he sent a text saying that "he gets it that i didnt want him in the house that we bought"...

at this time i am not comfortable having him in the house due to a lot of memories etc.

then later on tonite.. he said.. he wanted some good sex..

i ignored it..

to me its all or nothing... hte break up was a surprise because we were not fighting (Yelling or screaming) to me i am very quiet and i talk when i am ready to explain things rationally.. on the other hand he tends to raised his voice and yells alot and he couldnt do it iwth me anymore....

i still have feelings for this man and to me to move forward i need answers.

reading forums made me realized that i am not alone and there are people out there that have experienced what i am going through..

i take it day by day and hoping that one day him and i can resolve whatever it maybe.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2010):

Hi Everyone:

Bottom Line .. Any man that breaks up with you doesn't want to be with you anymore. Sorry to be so hash. Yes, he cares about you and always will. Yes, it hurts and hurts like hell. You give these guys everything and they in turn break your heart. You feel used, sad, confused and broken. I'm going to tell you something my great grandmother told my mother and my mother told me. Any man that takes money from you, is no dam good. Any man that calls you nasty names, is no dam good. Any man that makes you feel terrible about yourself, is no dam good. Any man that hits you, is no dam good. Any man that uses you, is no dam good. Any man that lies to you, is no dam good. Any man that leaves you for another woman, is no dam good. Any man that makes you cry, is no dam good. Stop holding on to these men. Get rid of them. THEY DID YOU A FAVOR. WIPE YOUR HANDS of them. A REAL man will come along. A man that won't make you cry, hurt, hit, call you down, or leave you. These guys that say "I miss you" after they break up with you just want someone FOR THE MEANTIME. STOP telling yourself "I STILL HAVE A CHANCE." IGNOR THEM. NO CONTACT. STAND FIRM and DO NOT SECOND GUESS YOURSELF. Tell them flat out "LEAVE ME ALONE." Girls, you deserve so much more. You will have the biggest tresure at the end of your rainbow once you get over these guys. Believe me, my ex husband hurt me so bad, I ended up in a Medical Hospital for two months. I was NOT crazy. I needed help because I didn't know how to handle my feelings. Thanks to the wonderful nurses and doctors who helped me LOVE MYSELF, I now see the other side of a life I DESERVED TO HAVE FROM THE BEGINNING. PS: I found my tresure and you will too.

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A female reader, preglost Sweden +, writes (5 August 2010):

preglost agony auntI am 7 months pregnant and man is not here once again. this roller coaster has gone on for the past 6 months...yeah I got pregnant right away, foolish of me! I was also a single mother of two. The way we met was magical and I had the best time of my life when I met him.

Now, I realized that from being single to being a father of two kids..not his then another on the way freaked him out. But he knew what was coming his way, he knew I had two kids. Now I am alone, pregnant and with two kids that lost their new father figure and he is just FINE alone and he calls me evrynight just to talk...upset me mostly..and instead of growing up, coming back home and making up his mind. He says he loves me but we can't be together because we fight too much. But we fight mainly because he insults me all the time....even said I should not gain too much weight in the pregnancy if I love him...I haven't gained much at all!!

We do fight a lot, he says I am too sensitive, and that I cry all the time like a baby..thing is I have a baby..I am pregnant and I am not allowed to be emotional....

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2010):

i know how it feels when your ex and even boyfriend doens't know what he wants from your relationship. what i think...? move on...i know it's hard but you are just hurting more each day because he doesn't know what he want. if he wants you in his life, he'll just have to find a way to put you there!!

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A female reader, blujay17 United States +, writes (27 July 2010):

Yes I am in this same situation- was with my boyfriend for 17 months, he suddenly broke up with me after our last fight. We did work it out, but he still left. He said he was confused. I have been asking him if it is really over and he says he does not know. I need a straight answer from him- he is hurting me more by NOT telling me an exact reason why he left or if he is coming back... I am so sad all the time..... and so confused we had so much love in our relationship.... I need help and advise too

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A female reader, Emerald1g United States +, writes (19 July 2010):

I have a confused ex boyfriend also, and he's 34 years old! After 2.5 years together, he ended the relationship with me through text and phone. I have had minimal contact with him and have not seen him for 2 or 3 months. Now suddenly, he sent me an email saying that he deleted all our pictures from Facebook and that he still loves me and misses me and that I'm the only one that he loves and will love. Then he says sorry it didn't work out. Bye. (WHAT THE.......?)

After I ignored this as well, he texted me asking if I received the message, and I said, "Yes and I dont understand it" to which he texted a sad face on the text screen, and I haven't heard from him since. This man is 34. I Dont get it, and I feel energy wasted on him, as well as time. I'm so confused, that I'm beginning to think that its better to just date many men and not sleep with any of them, and just date and have fun until one of them actually knows what they want, and is compatible with you!

I'd love to hear what any one has to say about my situation or any other stories. I see similarities and it makes me somehow get more perspective on this.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2010):

Im in a similar situation except he hasnt said he still loves me but always says he misses me and wen i do meet up with him as im still his "best friend" we end up sleeping together...i dont want to lose him out of my life so... i dont no what to do myself..

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A female reader, ashy Australia +, writes (27 October 2009):

Boys? Love? Relationship?

I recently received the notice of "unwanted leave" from my ex/ not ex boyfriend.

We had our ups and we had our downs, but neither of us gave up on the "us" no matter how hard it got, until recently...

He had decided he had, had enough and time was now to move on alone.

I asked him why?

The only answer he could give me was "I don't know if I want to be with you, therefore to stop hurting you, I need to leave you." Only his actions speak differently to his words.

After reading everyone's story, I don't know what the individual situations are, as you and only you can understand what you are going through. We can empathize, but only empathize.

The most important piece of advice I can give anyone in similar situations is to make an intellectual decision as your man is making an I.D. decision ( an Instinct Driven Decision). And you need to separate the emotions and look at all the real reasons your attracted to this person.

It is very easy to forget yourself, and what you actual want and need from someone else.

Jeanette Winterson said " Love turns the whole world into one room..."

Take heart, breath and love.

Always remember you are not alone, this column is a true indicator of this no matter how crass.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2008):

I'm in the same situation, and i find it so hard to let him go. There is something telling me to leave him and find someone better but then there's something saying there may be a chance he wants you back. I've not been with him for long, 6 months but I lost my virginity to him and fell for him. There is someone else that likes me and says he will treat me right, but i don't if i can go to someone so soon. I hate waiting around, i'm a sucker for this guy and he's got me where he wants me. I should end things with him for good and then sooner or later he will realise but i find it so hard to give up. I really have no clue what to do as well, but your so strong for not falling into his trap and sleeping with him, i wish i was as strong as you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2008):

It is so bizzare that you feel like you are the only person in the world going through this kind of thing then you see a site like this and you are not alone,I think you have been truely brilliant in been strong and not having sex,I am in the same situation my b/f of nearly 3yrs left me 2wks before been due to go on hol, then a week later he got himself a younger g/f,I went on the hol and while i was away i got texts and calls when i got back he said he wanted to finish her but she had qualities he liked,

i have been a total fool cos i have believed that he loved me and wanted me back,this has gone on for bout 9 wks and only last night i decided enough was enough, he did leave his g/f but then said he did not know if we would work out, but i made the mistake of keeping up with the sex which was the worst thing ever to do, cos i could not even look at him in the end and he just seemed to do anythign he liked and i let him so it got to just been sex and not making love which i guess is degrading and could have made me feel worthless if i had not just said enough is enough. so hunny i think we are in the same boat and we have to listen to what everyone says and ditch them and move on as hard as it seems. If my ex truely loved me i would have seen it in his eyes when he looked at me.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2008):

My love, you deserve better than that confused somebody. He has to take a stand adn stick to his word. He can't decide one moment he wants you and the next, he is confused. This is all costing you, and I personally do not think any girl deserves that. He must go adn make up his mind, and only come back when he has decided what he wants.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2008):

hey gurl. i know exactly what your going through. my ex has me toatlly confused because one minute he wants me then when he's angry he doesn't want to get back with me. then one min he says he just wants to be friends and then he says he doesn't want anything to do with me but i can't seem to let go of him becasue i love him so much. i feel like its one of the hardest things ever to do.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2008):

I am going through the same thing too, after a 2 year relationship we split up (a year ago) and things have been very on/off since. he copes better than me, going out more etc. but whenever he thought that i was actually 'moving on' he'd be there to drag me back into the does he/doesn't he want to be in a relationship again. Our question i asked my ex (several times a month) was "do u think that we will ever actually be together" and his reply was always "i don't know" to which i'd say "well if you don't know then i think thats a no" and then his reply would be "i'm not saying i don't want to be with you!" confusing indeed. This guy knows what he's doing and is messing with your emotions. maybe he doesn't want a relationship with you but he doesn't want you to be with anyone else? or maybe he does miss you but doesn't want to give up his single lifestyle. whatever his reasons are, if he loves you like he says he does the answer should be clear to. However, sleeping together is definately not the answer (so well done for saying no!) As soon as he sees you being the strong one and getting on with your life without him, he will realise soon enough what he wants....so you need to put him in his place when he asks you back. you can do better than someone who "isn't sure". good luck! x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2008):

We always want to help, do something. We are even ready to change ourselves just to make it work. The question is do we really need to go out of our ways just to be with someone who "doesn't know what they want"? The truth is we can't help it. It is their own choice. Do you want to make choice for someone? Do you want to be your own boy-friend/husband? It's first of all not fair to yourselves, our friends and families to people who deeply love and respect us for WHO WE ARE.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2008):

Im in exactly the same situation omg these answers are brilliant, they have made me feel stronger, like if he cant do something about it then i will, he was the one who persued me from day one so now i feel like i have done something wrong he will never talk he is like a closed book, i confronted him and asked was he with someone else and he said no way, he wants to be with me but dosent know what he wants or what hes doing...i try to be understanding but then the demons step in and tell me this is not normal i would never let anyone wait for me to make up my mind..............after a year he should know what he wants instead of a yo yo relationship....all to suit him...but at least your not blind to this.......we can see whats happening and its unhealthy for us............and confusing when you dont even know whats wrong with them....

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2008):

my ex was exactly the same. after years of putting up with this he still did not change - did not know what he wanted, did not know where he wanted the relationship was leading too. when they are all muddled up like this they will not put in any effort to help the relationship develope, yet i was patient and tried talkign to him for years. he needs to know what he wants - you cannot help him here, all it will do is waste your precious time ding-donging while the REAL MR right could be waiting for you. my advice to you is ask him to make up his mind. if he really loves you he shouldnm't have to think so much about what HE wants in a relationship and work to iron out the wrinkles with you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2008):

Apparently many more guys do this type of thing than I realized. I am in this same situation. My ex boyfriend and I were in a relationship for a little over 3 years. During that time, we couldn't go 2 months without breaking up. There were countless girls that he crushed on, liked, made out with, and dated. I hate to say that knowing for 3 years I kept going back to him. Every time he kept coming back to me and I would think, there must be something here if he keeps coming back. But I'm realizing now it wasn't the coming back I should have focused on, it was him leaving. He was the same exact way, always keeping his options open and he even went back to tell girls who he messed around with and dated and stopped talking to that he did have feelings for them and is just confused (ie, wants them back or get some action) and this is all after breaking up with me a week or two ago and we are still living together with another roommate...don't worry, I'm going to be moving soon).

Are most guys like this?? I'm trying to regain what little dignity and self-respect I have left and be the strong woman while he is going out, getting drunk with flashy girls and hitting on other girls...all while he tells me he doesn't want anything. The part that really burns me up is he tells me I don't have enough "experience" in dating and just living life (I've had 2 serious boyfriends and obviously had different experiences than he has). When I try to tell him it isn't quantity, it's quality, he just says I'm too conventional and uptight. Anyways, I have prayed that he would come to his senses and just give up his girl-crazy antics. Every relationship for him has been messed up. Maybe this sounds mean but I take some pleasure in knowing he might never have a real relationship, one that will make him feel whole and happy. I know that is a horrible thing to say. I really do love him...I guess I'm just still angry at him and myself.

Enough about me. You are doing the right thing and I think it is awesome you could say no to him. He probably won't change and for the girls he does hook up with or get in relationships with, I feel sorry for them because guys like these probably won't change.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2007):

My ex dumped me a few months ago, and we've been hooking up on and off since. He said that even though he still loves me, he doesn't want a relationship right now. My thoughts were - but if you love me, you would just want me and not need the options of not being in a relationship. This is what you have to see: he SHOULD know what he wants if he truly loves you. Maybe he doesn't understand what love is, or maybe his feelings of love are "residue" from what you had together. But the bottom line is you have to realize what I am struggling to do now. While he may care very much about you, and affection can vary through a range...you either want a relationship, or you don't. And he doesn't. You deserve one where you are everything; the end all be all. So as hard as it is to say no, you need to let him know you need more than what he is offering you. Good luck, and know you'll find someone better

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2007):

My ex husband was like that, we do have a child together. I understand where you both are coming from because I'VE BEEN THERE. It is VERY difficult, however the best thing for both you and the child is to have stability. If he is unwilling to commit, then in your heart you know what you should do. It took an awful lot for me to be single, however life was SO unstable for me. It is so much better now I couldn't even imagine what my life would be like if he were still in it. Don't get me wrong, he's still in our child's life, however that's a relationship between him and our daughter. I figured out that it's more important for my daughter to have a stable life rather than a roller coaster life.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2007):

i have exactly the same problem only there is a child involved i know whats goin on and just hope n pray for the day when i wake up a stronger person and be able to say NO!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2006):

YOU'RE RIGHT!!It's not your loss my dear. You did a right thing! He is so immature and selfish..I have a boyfriend also like that but we never tried to commit sex because i really don't like to make love 4 someone who i am not sure of but he keeps on asking 4 dat!!At this moment,he never txt me or sees me 4 da past few days and i don't know what is happening to him but i decided to let him go without letting him know.I once ate up my pride just because of him but now i learned my lessons.IF A GUY LOVES YOU WITH ALL THEIR HEART, HE CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU. But I guess he can live without me...I feel that he is just using me..Girls can feel what is happening but sometimes we just ignore to face the truth! We are the one who choose our own destiny,don't let boys let us down! "EVERYTHING HAPPENS 4 A REASON"

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2005):

I had a similar problem with my boyfriend who is 27. We were together for 5 yrs. I stopped seeing him because he wanted to go out to bars with his friends, and his behavior suddenly started changing. He said he still loved me and only wanted to be with me, but he would barely give me any of his time. I dont even know who he is anymore. I decided to stay on my own than to risk a broken heart. After being apart from him for 7 mos, and our relationship being off and on for 5 yrs, I finally kicked him to the curb. We had casual sex once during that time, and it kept him begging for more, but I just couldnt do it, not after having a 5 yr committed relationship with him. He is seeing someone now, which he did not admit to me until I confronted him on it. I thought there was still a chance for us, and he admitted he missed me and had been thinking of me and said that since he has been with other girls, he realizes how much he misses me and wants me more. well, since he has been with other girls, it makes me want him less. He is playing games and wanting to have his cake and eat it to. Thats when I kicked him to the curb and said I am going to start seeing other people, and stopped all contact with him. its hard to do, but I know that i have missed out on some great opportunities because I chose to stay with him. I had not been seeing anyone during the 7 mos we were apart, because I felt I needed to get to know myself and think things out. I have learned no guy is worth this kind of treatment. I saw red flags from the beginning, but I chose to ignore them. Now I am broken hearted and alone for the holidays while he has someone else. I will get over it because I am strong and a much better person. I will hold out for that special someone, or who knows maybe I will be happier on my own..less headaches!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2005):

Same situation here, just get on with your life and just tease him, make him chase you like crazy! But the real question is, are these immature male ex's going to ever grow up and stop playing games? Or are they going to be the single men at 40 years old still living at home and still trying to make their mind up about what they want in life? While you have put everything to a hold just for them to wake up. Its not worth it! Go and get a sky rising career behind you. Show off your 'bling', 'bling' and BMW to that prick. My ex is a big kid, 27yo and said to be that he wanted to settle down and have kids. He said he loved me and then next week he says his future wife is Gwen Stafani. Geez I can't believe I was dating a 10yo!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2005):

The problems you talk about, 'his not knowing what he wants from you, his not thinking your relationship might work out', are tell-tale signs that he is not very committed to you and he is very immature. You may love him, but I feel he doesn't understand what "love really is" and he doesn't love you-he only thinks he loves you but his actions certainly say otherwise.

I don't think you should put much hope on this guy. It's likely-you probably could never get him to commit until he has done some serious growing up. Hun, he seems to only want you when he wants sex, thus he is not considerate nor respectful of you. Two critical key ingredients, he should really feel when he claims to love you.

My advice to you, is for you to let your boyfriend go. You deserve so much better than what he's offering and judging from your letter, you realize this. You were a smart girl, to decline a meeting with him because your self-respect kicked in and you gave him the clear message, you will not be used because your self value is high. Good for you, girl! I think the phone call he made to you later, was his immature way of trying to "force you to rethink" your previous decision to turn him down. He was in effect saying, "If I can't sleep with you-then I am rethinking our relationship and how much I really do love you". he's playing with your emotions and it's an immature game. This is not love-this is pure selfishness, on his part. Kick him to the curb-so he doesn't put you through that, again. Remember, when we love someone, he should be a guy who cares as much about your feelings as he cares about his own. You don't have that guy right now. I don't think I need to tell you this but I believe, values only have the power we infuse into them. It takes grit, courage and will (and sometimes discomfort) to uphold those values. Simply, the measure of all of us, as humans, is how we honor these values and principles. So far-you are right on target. Take care dear...and keep being strong.

Hugs,

Irish

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2005):

hes using you for sex. ditch him. i did. he wants his cake and eat it. its not fair on you because hes playing on the fat you still love him. get rid!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2005):

I am in a very similar situation although we are still currently living together as we share a home. He cheated on me a month ago (for a month!) and came clean about everything saying that it was a big mistake, he thought he had feelings for this other girl and has now realised he didn't and it was all about the sex. I am still here because I believe in what we had and I still love him. However, half the time, he still seems unsure. Everytime we get to the point of selling the house, or him moving out, he breaks and says he can't do it. This confusion surrounding whether you want someone or not baffles me, and you it seems. You and I seem like people who know what they want - and appreciate it when we have it. Our men on the other hand, are confused. We cannot be dragged down with confusion. I have put the house on the market today and am moving home (120 miles away!) So, if he wants me, he can prove it properly. We make things too comfortable for men. They want hard, bitchy women....they enjoy the chase. I think you have handled everything in the best way possible. Move on and up - and if it is meant to be then he will come back to you at the right time. I know it is hard, I am there with you - but it is their loss and we must be strong. All the best to you. xx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2005):

I am in EXACTLY your situation! Having read your letter I again feel that I did the right thing, so I will advise you to do the same...do not call him, do not agree to see him like this ever (well done! You didn't!) when he calls, get off the phone as fast as possible.

It shouldn't take too long to find out how he really feels.

It seems like now he loves you but his brain is mush cos of all the other mess surrounding whatever happened betwen you so his committment and love thoughts are turned off even though he misses the sex and companionship.

Force him into valuing you in a fully committed way by not engaging with this back and forth rubbish from him.

If he actually comes to your house or leaves you a message or somehow lets you know that he absolutely wants to get back together in a proper relationship (this may take longer than you'd think!) then OK, but make him try hard to get you accept him. i.e. do not leap for joy straight away, make him prove it to you.

OR if he just drifts away, you had a lucky escape from a man who doesn't know your true worth because he is possibly screwed up /committment phobic etc. If he loves you then yes, you're right, he SHOULD know if he wants you or not.

If he doesn't choose to be with you, then please try to think of the broken heart you would have had down the track when it would have hurt even more.

Good luck girl! I hope you can work it out. x

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A female reader, not again +, writes (21 October 2005):

Yeah, kinda siunds like you should leave him be. Firstly tho- congrats on being so level headed! From what you say you are not putting yourself in a position of getting hurt/ used during this time, so well done! Lots of chicks (and probably me) would proabaly have been the ones waking up in the morning with a confused ex!

Before you let him go though, have one more talk with him. Why doesnt he think it'd work out? whether he knows the answer to that or not, if he still isnt willing to get back together then leave it because you won't be able to change his mind. But make it clear to him that you really like him and are willing to make it work, but that you're not going to offer this again!

I would think that he must know whether he wants you. I get why you are confused. But if you cant even get an answer from him then... walk away I reckon. Leave him with his confusion. Good luck!

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