A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was relationship with a guy like for 4 years suddenly one day he told me he is seeing someone else and that girl is my cousin. She knows everything about our relationship and also she knows how much I loved him. But I don't know why the hell a best friend could cheat like this ?? I really couldn't move on from my past. I dont know what to do
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best friend, cheated on me, cousin, move on Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2015): I'm going to make a big guess. Your cousin and best friend knows everything about you. When you had problems and issues with your boyfriend and relationship; you discussed it all with her.
This gave her an inside advantage, and opportunity to wiggle her way in between you. She listened intently to you, and went to him to offer him her sympathies and support. She knew your every move and all the details; because you were probably over-sharing about the problems in your relationship. So when you and your boyfriend fought or disagreed; she was always one-step ahead of you. She was circling above and waiting. She saw your dysfunction as a convenience and opportunity.
Well, blood is thicker than water. You will eventually get over that two-timing boyfriend. She is your cousin for life.
Karma will not allow the relationship to survive; due to the toxic deception and betrayal it was built upon. The will look happy on the outside, but suspicion and distrust will eat it from the inside. Do not let anger eat at you. Move on, and seek your happiness in spite of it all.
I know the betrayal stings; but your boyfriend has shown that he is a man with no principles.
You cousin inadvertently did you a favor, and set her own karma at the same time. If he cheated and dumped you; he may do the same to her. She will never really trust him, knowing what he is capable of. There can be no love without trust. The day will come when she will beg for your forgiveness. They may be a couple, but not without guilt and shame. She put a man between you. He is not a man of good character. You may not see it now, but you are the winner in this situation.
Time will heal your broken-heart, and the sting of betrayal will subside. You will find someone better for yourself; and you will have learned how to survive disappointment and betrayal. That's the ugly-side of human-nature. Better he was only a boyfriend, and not your husband.
A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (21 May 2015):
 Four years is a long time. You had a right to expect that this was a permanent relationship. But clearly he had other plans.
He really never deserved your love, respect and your caring if he could not recognise your true worth.
That he could cheat so easily and with your relative was really low.
If he can cheat like that once then he will probably cheat again in the future.
But lower again is your cousin. She is family and she did that? That is lower than a rattle snake. If it were me I could never ever trust her ever again.
It hurts ever so bad, but neither of them are worthy of you time and your love. No matter how much you loved him, his betrayal now was a blessing. Better that you discover now and not in in a few years that he is so easily swayed away from his partner.
It is time that you washed that man out of your hair and started to focus first and foremost on you.
Do not allow this horrible situation to make you bitter or distrustful.
Instead start looking at ways that you can develop the person who is you into who you are meant to be.
Is there any line of study, even just study to learn something for pleasure, that you might consider doing?
Is there a place you have always wanted to visit? Could you save towards taking such a trip to see a place that fascinates you?
Are you happy doing the work you do or is there another qualification you could consider studying towards, with a view to getting the work you have always wanted to do?
Do not sit around at home feeling sad. Is there a fitness centre near you that you could join and attend some classes like aerobics or spin classes. Exercise can be really relaxing and satisfying.
Start a journal and aim to write in it one positive thing that happened to you that day, or a positive thought or idea that you thought of that day. Or a positive action by you that day. Or something nice that occurred to you that day.
Try to focus on the positive.
And be extra nice and forgiving towards you.
make your life so busy and so positive that in the end you will come to the conclusion that he was not the one, no matter how much you loved him. He could not recognise all that love in you. His mind was too shallow for you
Is there any volunteering you might be interested in doing in your community.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (21 May 2015):
 First thing I would do is to distance myself as far as possible from both of them;i.e. no emails, no FB, no conversations of any kind. Just disappear from their lives as much as you can. Stay out of their business and keep them out of yours. Forget them and start over. Keep your life as simple as possible and forget but learn fom this incident. Best of luck to you in your future life.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2015): Hi - I feel your pain - I was in a similar situation with a female friend - although not as bad - as my cousin betraying me would feel a lot worse.
It is one thing to be betrayed by your boyfriend - but by someone else you know being involved too - is doubly bad.
Yes it will hurt for a while & you will feel stabbed in the back (rightly so). The only thing I can suggest is time & a change of scenery. The problem won't go away - but a change of scenery can really work wonders. Plus the saying 'time is a great healer' is really true - be patient...
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