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My ex and I are talking again but my friend's mad because he likes her too!

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Long distance, The ex-factor, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 February 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 4 March 2008)
A male United States age 30-35, *geek writes:

I have a problem concerning my ex girlfriend and my used to be friend. My ex and I are planning on getting back together. It would be a long distance relationship (100 miles)

Well my ex gf still claimes she loves me after over a year now. She was the one who originally ended our relationship. I still love her also..... tons.

But my friend seems to have a crush on her. He has never met her before but he is now all pissy at me because she still loves me and he's trash talking me to her telling her lies about stuff that I do or want,(such as telling her I only want to have sex with her, or that I'm leading her on and that I don't really love her). Then when my ex and I were talking he calls on her other line and starts ratting her out and getting all mad at her cause she was talking to me!?!!!

He seems to think that she's his and that I'm trying to take her away from him even when my ex has specifically told him she only likes him as "just" a friend. even after that he continues to be clingly and possesive.(he also has the idea in his head that I am elading her on and that I really don't love her)

He has now blocked my phone/e-mail/and myspace. should I confront him about it?(about his trash talking me and ratting shay out)

And...... what should I do about this? It's really bothering me........ and concerning me. It makes me so mad when he gets mad at her or at me for no reason.

View related questions: crush, ex girlfriend, long distance, my ex, myspace

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2008):

Okay, here's what I think:

1. Liking someone doesn't make them yours. This seems like a lesson your friend needs to learn.

2. If someone loves you and you love them, go for it! Don't worry about some other guy trying to ruin love for you.

3. Tell your friend that you know that this girl only likes him as a friend, and it's just going to make it harder on everyone the longer he keeps up with this.

4. Do you value your friendship with this guy? If you do, try confronting him, but be calm, don't yell, and present your points without getting angry (to the best of your ability). Getting mad won't solve anything (once again a lesson your friend needs to learn...). Talking about it in a calm, mature fashion can.

Good luck with this one. My heart goes out to you and the girl that you love and I hope you can all make it through this.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2008):

Hi Hunny

Id block him from my life completely!!!!True drama queen as the post before said..Just talk with your g/f and tell her you have a major possesive ex friend problems who seems to have more that a few problems...It is conserning you for her as well as you want to work this out and if this isnt hard enough with the long distance this is making it 100times worse..Ignore him completely and tell her to do the same he isnt right hun!!!!!! You have a right to protect you g/f and that is what you would be doing from this overacting pretend friend...Hope things calm down sweetheart and you sort it out with your g/f and you mannage to keep away from this jealous person, IGNORE EVERYTHING HE SAYS AS HE WILL DIG HIMSELF A WHOLE SO BIG HE WILL END UP IN ANOTHR BLOODY COUNTRY TAKE CARE WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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