A
male
age
30-35,
*am0091
writes:He had an affair his tenant and now has left us for her and her family. Whenever he calls now he's really aggressive and angry for no reason at all, why? He hasn't contacted me or my brother for 13 weeks now.When he comes to our house he starts crying infront of us why? This OW is supposed to be the love of his life! Is he unhappy and if inflicting unhappiness on us? He has left the OW twice too
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female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (5 July 2016):
 I think counselling may do you some good, OP, as you're a bit hung up on if it will last.You understandably feel betrayed, and you need to start healing.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (3 July 2016):
 Sorry OP,
Life is rarely one size fits all. This mid-life crisis of your dads will continue for as LONG as HE "lets" it, and your mom, yours and your brother's involvement for as long as you enable him to cause drama with you.
If none of you (your mom, you and your brother) wants to "deal" with it, cut him off temporarily. Let him know that you DO NOT want to partake in drama. IF he wants to spend quality time with you, he needs to leave his personal drama and mess at the door.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2016): Hi you posted a question similar to "do these midlife crisis affair relationships with their mistress typically last" here:http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-dad-is-having-an-affair-will-it.htmlUnfortunately for you it could last days, weeks, months or a lifetime. No-one on here can give you the reassurance you want. I think you should try and focus away from you parents and their marriage and onto your own life. I realise that's very difficult but you could be in this situation for quite some time and only your parents can resolve things one way or another.
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A
male
reader, Sam0091 +, writes (3 July 2016):
Sam0091 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks, do these midlife crisis affair relationships with their mistress typically last?
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (3 July 2016):
 Guilt would be my guess and perhaps a bit of regret. Mix these two together and you get anger and frustration and not necessarily meant for you or your brother. He knows just how he must look in the eyes of his sons and cant handle it so out comes the anger. I would assume another reason for him not keeping in touch as much. Much easier to hide than face your shame. Hopefully, in time, you can work through this and regain some sort of normality in your relationship with him,until then take care of your mum and yourself the best you can. Personally, I wouldn't get involved in any way, his mess he needs to deal with it.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (2 July 2016):
I agree with WiseOwlE
I think he has realized just how royally he screwed up. However, if he shows up and makes drama, don't open the door, tell your mom to call the police. (and chance the locks if he still has a key).
He is miserable and apparently wants everyone else to be miserable, NOT fair at all.
Sounds like a midlife crisis gone wrong. (like they usually do).
I think (even if your mom wants him back) the BEST thing she can do is stop enabling him creating all this drama by telling him to stay away till he has sorted himself out.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (2 July 2016):
I'd calmly suggest counselling to him, so that he can figure out his decisions and start fixing them.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (2 July 2016):
 The mistress must have made him choose between her or your family. Afraid of losing her, he chose her but then quickly regretted the decision. Kind of like "what the hell was I thinking" kind of reaction. Now talking to you made him feel guilty. He did not intend to take it out on you. He's crying because he realized he did a stupid thing by abandoning his family for a mistress that he doesn't really see as long term material, but he's stuck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2016): Sounds like he may be suffering from mental-health issues; and like far too many people, will not seek treatment. His erratic behavior doesn't seem rational in the least.
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