A
male
age
41-50,
*arrybaggs
writes:HiI have a crush on a younger girl at work. I'm 30, and I'd guess she's maybe 22 or 23. A while back (maybe a year and a half), there was a night out and I stupidly told people I liked her, despite the fact we had barely even spoken beyond very brief small talk. Someone told her, but she told them she wasn't interested, and was in the process of getting back with an ex. So far, so grimly predictable.Back at work I decided to stay out of her way, which wasn't too hard as we didn't work directly together and our paths rarely crossed. I didn't avoid her out of spite, more that I didn't want to make things awkward for her.Whenever I did see her, I'd manage a vague 'hi', which she would return. I didn't make much effort to initiate small talk as I had before. One day (maybe five months ago) when I saw her, I said hi, used her name when I addressed her, and asked how she was. Since then, she's been a lot more direct with me, approaching me for help when she needs it (even though I don't really work with her at all), laughing at jokes I have with people when she's slightly near but not even involved in the conversation. She will initiate chats with me more, remember things I've said the previous time we spoke, and asks me things I can't really help her with at work. She uses my name every time she talks to me too. She phoned up my office for things, and will sometimes hang about in our office and wait for things, whereas before she wouldn't. She will chat with me then, too.Am I reading way too much into this? Is she just being friendly? Does she want my attention because she thinks I might have stopped being interested in her? Or is there opportunity it might be more?I should highlight that I am very much attracted to this girl. Whenever I see her, I cannot take my eyes off her. My feelings for her, I cannot explain. But I am completely smitten and think we have a weird kind of chemistry. When I talk with her, I feel we click.Anyway, thanks.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Keeley345 +, writes (24 March 2014):
She seems to like you as a person and that's a start. Try asking her about her romantic life to get an idea of whether she's looking for a boyfriend. Crack a joke and say something like ''Hope you had a good weekend and did'nt stay at home watching chick flicks like single girls usually do'' She'll respond to your joke and might give a clue as to whether she's single.
I had a guy who liked me and who wanted to know if I was available say this ''Your boyfriend must love you buying you a necklace like that'' I was wearing a necklace I was given by family for my birthday and told him this. He then proceeded to ask me out a week later. Test the waters dude and make her yours before someone else does. But it looks positive from what you've told us.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (23 March 2014):
 I honestly think, she has deemed you "safe" to be around. That you aren't crushing on her no more nor no longer "after her" in a "I want you" kind of way.
I would just keep it up as a work friendship kind of deal. Dating in the work place is rarely a good idea. I have no idea why so many people think it is.
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A
female
reader, Sensible Alice  +, writes (23 March 2014):
 Yeah it does sound like she might be interested, but the only way you'll know for sure is if you ask her out. Find out if she's unattached first( work colleagues should be able to tell you this). If you're not comfortable asking her on a date, maybe ask her out for coffee and emphasise the just friends. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2014): Maybe you should be very direct and ask her if she is seeing anyone ?
I think you need to find this out first before you think about asking her out .
I wouldn't go down the route of involving others.
She seems to be interested in you as a person, and you should build on that frienship first. I wish you luck and hope things turn out the way you would like.
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