A
female
age
36-40,
*rangeswild123
writes:So in June it will be 1 year of dating each other and I haven't met his mom nor has he met my parents. Now his mom lives 2 hours away and mine live 30 minutes. But the thing is he'll see him mom usually once a month. She could really care less about meeting me. My boyfriend said she's just not all into it and the past gf's he had met her just is passing when they would come over to his house. Does she not like me already? Or is this normal lol? I'm worried maybe I'm not good enough or something... Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, orangeswild123 +, writes (15 March 2014):
orangeswild123 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for the answers! I feel better now :) I guess I should be glad then! I was brought up with the idea if you love someone you want people to know them because they mean a lot to you. So I've held back from him meeting my parents because he hasn't introduced me to his mom. But I guess I shouldn't worry about that and enjoy our time together! I also look at my friends and see they have met their bf's parents and they go out to dinner with them or go to their house. So it just looks like I'm doing something wrong. I will not worry about it anymore!
A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (15 March 2014):
 Some mother's just aren't into interfering in their children's life. It's not unusual - as he says, she's just not that into it, so ignore it. There's some girls who'd love to be in your position, I'm guessing. Nothing sours a relationship like the presence of an omnipresent future Mother in Law.
...............................
A
female
reader, like I see it +, writes (15 March 2014):
 Your boyfriend knows his mother well enough to be able to gauge whether this is something to worry about, or whether she's specifically ostracizing you after having been friendly to others in the past.
Since he doesn't sound concerned about it and has as good as told you that this is a pattern with her, I wouldn't take it personally at all. Sooner or later your paths will cross and until then, don't sweat it. Introverted people do get married and have kids like everyone else, so it's quite possible his mother is one of them.
In the meantime, if you're really wanting to get started on meeting one another's parents as a milestone in the relationship, you can always make the first move and invite him to visit yours.
Best wishes!
...............................
A
female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (15 March 2014):
 If she only met his previous girlfriends when they happened to accompany him on a visit then she doesn't dislike you in particular. She's just not one of those moms who creates a lot of fanfare about her children dating. Maybe when she knows you two are serious she might be more interested.
In a way this can be a good thing for you. She already has little to no expectations of you and isn't demanding to meet so you don't have the same pressure to impress you would with most parents. I suspect with this woman you can really be yourself when you do meet her.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2014): Actually, I ENVY you! I live in the same town as my parents (and when I lived 250 miles away they came up to my apartment EVERY weekend to chat up my roommates/snoop around my stuff/lecture me on how they didn't approve of my lifestyle) and I WISH I had the freedom to decide when my parents would meet my friends or people I'm dating. I'm 30 years old, have my own place, pay my own bills, and they are STILL very involved in my life. In both cases (past and present) they have taken it upon themselves to share stories about my childhood, talk about their expectations/values and how I was raised. My friends/people I'm dating end up knowing WAY more about me then I'd care for them to know and it creates an imbalance almost immediately since I don't know as much about them as they do me. I WISH I had that level of space and control so that I could decide WHEN to tell people those things! Hell, last week my parents were over when some Soul Winners came by and my mother let them in FOR me and chatted them up, giving them my numbers, place of work, upbringing, and told them they really hoped I would go to church and to call her if they couldn't reach ME! Yep, she really did that. And they lay the guilt-trip on THICK if I try to turn them away or tell them to call first (Boy, did I ever get yelled at for suggesting THAT one). I don't think it's a big deal that your boyfriend's mom doesn't care if she meets you or not. Maybe she just lets him have his space to live his life and really doesn't think it's necessary to know you unless you two plan to get married. Then, when she knows you'll be part of her life on a permanant basis, maybe she'll want to get to know you. I have plenty of friends whose parents don't even know where they live or anything about their friends/people they're dating. It's not personal, it's just that some parents let their adult children live their lives. Does your boyfriend want to meet your parents? Is he interested in that? How serious is he with you? I don't think it's a matter of not being "good" enough, it's just that she has a hard time taking any of his relationships seriosuly because he's broken up with those past girls. :-)
...............................
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (15 March 2014):
Sounds like you're over thinking things. Why do you care if she doesn't? Just enjoy your life and let her do her own thing without it causing you grief.
...............................
|
