A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend's friends are very different. Some are slutty, some are nasty, and some of them share partners. I don't think there's ONE friend that isn't one of the following.They are good people, no drugs, no drinking before 21 etc but they're open sex lives really disgust me...I don't want to be controlling, but sometimes I don't even want my boyfriend near them, from the way they act or do. They show pictures of themselves with 3 different men at once. The first time I met his friends, one of them, showed me their nipples! I'm glad everyone was comfortable and everything... but that's just... a little different from my environment. Plus, when I go over there... it's like an orgy, everyone is doing something... with someone, even the pregnant girl!Should I be concerned? Or,is this okay?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2009): Well, if they are all doing it together and have checked out on health, then it's okay for them. However, as it's okay for them, it's obvious that it's not okay with you. So since this is not okay with you, you can bring this up with your boyfriend. Whether your boyfriend accepts this sort of segregation or not, is up to him. If he doesn't want to be segregated from his friends, then it leaves you to two more likely choices:
a) continue to stay with him and accept his friends as they are
b) leave him
Alternatively, you two can hang out at your place or at a place away from his friends.
PS: I was 99% tempted to rebuttal Jesus-loving freak below me, but for the sake of everyone's sanity, I'm chewing on washed orange peels. (Pure my ass)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2009): It's not okay! Don't go back. Listen to your gut. You know what they are doing is not okay. You will lose respect for yourself if you stay around them or interact with them. Ask Jesus to help you get away from them. They will take advantage of you. BE STRONG. I will pray for you. Take care of yourself and think about things that are lovely and pure.
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A
female
reader, Irish49  + ♥, writes (1 March 2009):
 No it's not okay. Jeez, as a Mom here, to teens, I'd be having heart attacks knowing my daughter was involved with a free-wheeling, anything goes type of friends like this! Listen, you seem to have a high standard of life values here, be very proud of that. If you live well now, you stay emotionally and sexually healthy, with no STD diseases, no unwanted pregnancies, and you get to keep your pride intact and high self-value strong within you. So yes...if their blatant, open sexual activities bother you, then this will continue to disturb you, now and in the future. First of all we can be friends with anyone we please, but one would be far happier with others who share the same interests and the same moral worldviews. I think if you view thes people's actions as behaving unethically or in any way that runs counter to your beliefs and values..you need to leave these friend behind before they take you down. Sadly, in the teen social world, if these people are nasty and you're associating with them, your good reputation will be smeared along with theirs. Ending these friendships may be the best thing for both you and your bf. You can't tell him who to be friends with but..I do forsee a lot of challenges ahead, if he chooses his connection to them, over you. You and he need to talk and make more rational, mature choices in whom you choose to accept in your lives. Good luck and take care of yourselves.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2009): If it is not right for you, anon, then it is not right. Talk with your BF and tell him you simply don't like being around his "friends". If he is not accepting of that, then just tell him that you don't want to be around him, either. They sound like a pretty shallow bunch. I don't think I would like them either. You do not have to associate with anyone you are uncomfortable around, anon. Certainly not just to please him. If he does not respect that, then he does not respect you. Finis.
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