A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi, this is kind if a weird question but here it goes. So, my boyfriend and I have been together for about three years, and I love him to bits. Recently we started hanging out with some of his old friends more, which I am super happy about because it makes him happy! But the things is, one of his friends is very attractive. I hardly ever find anyone attractive, but he is. I am fine with just chalking it up to a dilly crush and moving on, but he has been flirting with me, possibly? I can't tell. We were all out at a restaurant recently and I think he was very intentionally playing footsie with me under the table. I didn't say anything, just pulled my legs back and forgot about it then he did it again! And it seems like he is always sitting right next to or across from me anywhere we go, even leaning against me and tickling me. It all sounds so silly but I find it very strange and I don't know if he's just being goofy and friendly, which he is both, or something else. Am I reading too much into things?Thanks for reading!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2015): OP here,
Thank you all for the responses. I think the reason he just has a blatant disregard for relationships is because his girlfriend of six years broke up with him recently and maybe it's him lashing out against a happy couple? I dunno, just a thought. In any case, I'm going to try avoiding him as much as possible.
A
female
reader, Keeley345  +, writes (9 April 2015):
We can usually tell if someone is attracted to us. If this guys attention is making you uncomfortable, try to discourage him e.g talk about your boyfriend, hint that you'd never been unfaithful. Basically anything to let this guy know you're off limits. Avoid him if you can. Try not to be alone with him.
If all else fails, tell your b/friend. But only as a last resort as it will ruin his friendship with this guy.
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A
female
reader, Keeley345 +, writes (9 April 2015):
We can usually tell if someone is attracted to us. If this guys attention is making you uncomfortable, try to discourage him e.g talk about your boyfriend, hint that you'd never been unfaithful. Basically anything to let this guy know you're off limits. Avoid him if you can. Try not to be alone with him.
If all else fails, tell your b/friend. But only as a last resort as it will ruin his friendship with this guy.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (8 April 2015):
 First: Take "the guy" (your B/F's friend) aside and say to him: "Listen, Bunky, I can see your sorry attempts at getting my attention for exactly what they are. I recommend that you - and they (the attempts at your attention) - cease immediately.. OR ELSE I'll pass them along to (insert BF's name here) and let HIM deal with you...."
If'n that doesn't have the result of him backing off.... then TELL B/F what is going on.... and expect HIM (B/F) to handle the matter....
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (8 April 2015):
 Oh he's a real piece of work. Has your BF said anything?
personally if it was ME I would say something to my husband about it and have him talk to his friend 'Bob I know you are just being friendly and would NEVER think it's ok to make a move on my girl, but she's uncomfortable with the level it's gone to, and I was wondering if you couldn't rein it in just a bit."
This serves two purposes...
1. it gets the idiot to back of
2. it lets both bf and idiot know that you are on to him.
he may not give a damn about you (some men are stupid like that) but he probably does not want to lose his friend and would respect his request more than a "mere woman"
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (8 April 2015):
 Next time KICK his foot and just say "Opps sorry WAS that your foot?"
That might be what it takes for him to take a hint. If that doesn't work, suggest loud enough for your BF to hear it, that he (the dude) plays footsie with your BF instead because you aren't interested.
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (8 April 2015):
Footsie doesn't happen on accident.
He doesn't sound like a good friend, or a moral guy. He's cute and he knows it, and apparently has no problem betraying his so called friends.
Run.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2015): This is your boyfriends friend. He should already know you are off limits! To me, it sounds like he is flirting with you. The best action to take is to avoid this guy at all costs. If your sitting at a table, try to sit as far away with him as possible, or ask your bf to switch places with you. As for the physical contact, kindly, but firmly tell him to BACK OFF. You already have a man, so don't risk anything because of one of his friends. If this guy try's to do anything else, take it up with your bf (but this is if all else fails, for it could lead to more drama and maybe even a fight.) If this guy was ever your bf friend, he would respect him and not get close to you like he is doing.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2015): He is not a good friend to your bf. It has been my experience that men who act this way toward their friend's partners are really more interested in competing with their friend than the women they are trying to steal. This will turn out badly for you, for your boyfriend and will kill the friendship between the two guys. Who cares what this lame friend's intentions are. You must be better than that.
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