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My boyfriend's family want him to move away, I want him to move in with me!

Tagged as: Dating, Family, Health, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 June 2014) 1 Answers - (Newest, 15 June 2014)
A female United States age , *ashful3 writes:

I wont my boyfriend to move in with me his mom passed Monday they live under us she had health issues he suffers with seizures, right now family wonts to get a 1

bedroom apartment back in Maryland.

Some of them feel he could be more independent his mom did baby him a little to much his oldest sister is his power of attroney we have been together 2 years his mom was all he knew he said he felt lost.

When him and I think sister come back we need to talk his moms funeral is Monday had a small service here I understand his seizures i have a 21 year old special needs daughter noway I can relocate his sister said she would bring him to visit hes gone for 2 weeks rough.

I say they need to slow down he decides to leave will be a few more months here if he has section 8 he can stay in

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (15 June 2014):

CindyCares agony auntWhat does HE want to do ? If when you talk about seizures, you mean epilectic seizures, that does not make him mentally incapacitated or cognitively impaired, he is still able to decide where he wants to live and with whom. That would not be between you and his sister, it would be between you and he.

It is also true that if he has epilectic seizures ( although he takes medications , I guess ? ) it is not very prudent for him to live totally alone. Independence is a great thing, but health first.

Then again , I have never heard of a someone with epilepsy who needs a relative having power of attorney, so maybe he IS mentally incapacitated, and in this case unluckily you will have no say, whatever the sister says goes, it all depends if you can convince her that he'd be happier and safer with you.

Finally, even if you can convince the sister, or him, I'd be very cautious about this, I would think it over one hundred times. You already have a special needs daughter to take care of as your primary duty, is it wise / possible for you to also take in a disabled boyfriend ? Would not that be stretching yourself too thin and taking over resposnibilities which do not belong to you ? I understand that you'd be sorry and upset to lose your companion of two yesrs, but... you have a daughter, your first duty of support and assistence is to HER, and if the quality and quantity of time, attention and financial resources that you can devote to her should decrease because of your bf's presence in your home, then , no, definitely no, you should not do that even if the sister says yes.

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