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My boyfriend's ex-girlfriend, what's the best thing to do so she will leave us alone!

Tagged as: Breaking up, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 February 2012) 8 Answers - (Newest, 27 April 2012)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

My bf's ex gf, what is the best way to have her leave us alone?

My bf and I have been back together for almost a year now (we dated 1 yr and a half back then, and broke up) When we were together the first time he talked to his ex here and there, I found out and was not happy about it. She would compare if my bf mentioned something good about me she would say she is better herself. She would call and text, initiating contact on her side the most.

We broke up later on because we kept fighting a lot but not just about her, we split up for about 4 years and my bf had been trying to get me back all that time. So we got back together last year and I found out they still talked here and there so we fought and I told him if he wanted to continue keeping in touch with her then I'm out, I know they don't really have a full on conversation, mostly she text him, sometimes flirty jokes or she'll ask him to go look at her car and have him fix it. I believe my bf doesn't want anything to do with her, but because of things she's said and done before I don't trust that she just wants to keep a friendship, also never believed in a friendship with an ex unless single otherwise its not fair to your current relationship.

So as soon as she knew that he is not keeping in touch with her at all, she started bombing his cell with texts/calls, messaged him on facebook, badmouthing me on his facebook wall. My bf ignored all her calls/texts/messages and I asked him to delete everything off his facebook since she wrote all the crap under our relationship status -_-"

Ok then there was peace for about 5 months, my bf came to pick me up at my house and he got a text, he got all puzzled and showed me the text he had no clue who it was from, (i recognize her #)she text him pretending they had met the night before and said something in the text that made it sound like my bf was hiding from me about it. Seriously?? I'm just sitting here thinking what is she going to do next? What is the best thing to do here? We're getting married soon and do not want to deal with or hear from her at all.

View related questions: broke up, ex girlfriend, facebook, flirt, got back together, his ex, split up, text

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A male reader, grymsoul United States +, writes (27 April 2012):

grymsoul agony auntAs much as you would like to deny it. She can't hold a conversation with herself. My friend just came out of the same situation. She couldn't understand why her boyfriend's ex was still hounding them even when they did everything you guys did. Little did she know that her boyfriend was still keeping some form of contact with her. He did everything he could to prove to his girlfriend that they werent communicating. he showed her the messages and even blocked all off online accounts from her. He was a genious actually. He was cheating in plain site. And what made it better was that.my friend had no idea it was going on. All this time she swore he wasn't because she watched the texts and him ignoring her. She didn't for once think that any of it was orchestrated to get her to be less suspicious of him. This way he was able to do it in plain sight. He would simple say he was off to work or whenever but he was secretly visiting her. Like i said. It takes two to tango and it doesn't seem like she's really dancing by herself.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for your help Auntie E and HoneyPie~!

I guess all we can do is to continue ignoring her but we really do not want to hear from her or anything and get on with our lives.

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A female reader, Auntie E United States +, writes (2 March 2012):

Auntie E agony auntI see...she sounds like a psycho to me. You and Honeypie are right - just ignore. Don't feed the drama monster, it only gets bigger. If I were you I'd ignore the anonymous female reader who posted here as well. If she knows she's being "played to suit him" then why is she allowing it. Not helpful!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2012):

why doesn't he change his phone number?

I think you shouldn't be telling your bf what to do regarding her. She is his ex, it's his decision if he wants to jeopardize your relationship by talking to her.

probably she knows that you're the one telling him what to do, so that's why she keeps hounding him, because she knows he's not the one who wants to end communication rather you're controlling him so that gives her power.

if he had actually decided on his own not to have any contact with her at all, you wouldn't have to be ordering him around telling him what to do with his facebook and cell phone.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

HoneyPie~ We have been ignoring her the whole time but doesn't seem like she is going to stop anytime soon..

Auntie E~ I had my bf unfriend her on Facebook that's why she got all crazy with the texts/calls/messages, I just found out how he could block her on his cell but we are not going to pay for that every month just to have her number blocked...I mean who knows she'd probably change her number and continue to do whatever.

I think ignoring her would be the best way because I have a feeling if we respond to her she's going to keep it coming even more.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2012):

Well if I'm honest I am going thru exactly the same myself right now. However, I suppose I would be taking the role of the 'ex' - in my defense my guy and I never really finished at all, we've held a 2yr on/off relationship which has been extremely destructive both personally and at work (we work together too although in different departments but very close in proximaty, plus his present 'interest' lets say works in same team as me which has caused 7months of sheer hell for me and could possibly lose me my job!).

All I will say to you is, are you so very sure that its the 'ex' causing the damage, ie could she too be like me and being played to suit his needs? So easy to point the finger at her but let me tell you from someone who is living the torment right now, the isolation from everyone you thought were your friends (who thinks youre in the wrong but who only know one side of situation), the complete lack of control over your job your future as well as coping with incredible heartbreak - hell on earth:'(

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A female reader, Auntie E United States +, writes (1 March 2012):

Auntie E agony auntYou two are giving her way to much power. He can easily unfriend/block her on FaceBook (in settings) and he can block her number with his cell phone carrier for about $5 a month.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (29 February 2012):

Honeypie agony auntBoth of you just need to ignore her. She is playing games and wants you two to play with her.

IGNORE her.

She sounds like a bored drama llama

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