A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Help me, please. My boyfriend of a year just told me that about a month ago, he went to this girl's house to help her with her abusive ex. He didn't have a way home, so he sat down and she asked him if he wanted anything to drink. I guess it was "spiked" and she claims she didn't know. He blacked out, doesn't remember anything and they woke up half naked. She's apparently pregnant and I have no idea what to do. I'm mostly upset that he waited so long to tell me. I can't imagine not being with him. He is everything I want. But, what do I do? She wants to keep the baby. How do I cope with that and tell everyone? Please help. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, deirdre  +, writes (13 May 2013):
dump him. he is making a fool of you
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male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (12 May 2013):
Sorry OP but the info you have given does not make much sense. Its quite possible for a woman to wake up and not be sure what happened the night before but for a guy... I dont think so. His story is pure hollywood, ie fiction.
If he got her pregnant she would have been week 2 or 3 in her cycle. Another 2 weeks and she would miss a period and take a pregnancy test. A doctor would not try an ultasound to detect this - apart from being a waste of time the embryo, if it exists, would be so small and hard to detect. Her and/or him are making a story and whatever the truth is I dont think you boyfriend has been truthful or respectful to you and I wonder why you still take his side?
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female
reader, jenn_jenn  +, writes (12 May 2013):
I'm sorry this story doesn't add up. Think about it, you're a smart girl...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2013): He left your house around midnight, got a booty call from her. He went to her house, as he probably has done before, had sex. This sex session ended up in a pregnancy. To get himself out of hot water he had to decrease his role in this situation. So he makes up a story. This is what happened. What does the girl say? You have a problem on your hands- a cheating and lieing BF.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2013): This was NO spiked drink and NO abusive ex. He made up this ridiculous story as an excuse for him cheating on you, and he's now laughing that you ACTUALLY believed it! Time to wake up, dear. Dump him for good. No cheater, baby, or liar is worth the pain you're going to experiencei if you stay with him.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2013): He's admitting that he cheated. He's not saying he was raped. He just doesn't remember it. He's not even 100% positive that he slept with her, he just thinks he did. She said she is 5-6 weeks pregnant, according to her ultrasound. However, he said it happened in late, late March. So, can the baby be his? I'm not sure how soon pregnancy occurs. Thanks!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2013): More information: he has helped this girl with some problems in the past. I knew her before he did. He's never given me a reason to not believe him and he doesn't even like to drink alcohol. I definitely believe that if this story is true, then she did it on purpose. She asked him to come over and help, she asked him if he wanted anything to drink, she said the punch smelled good. I'm not saying none of this is his fault, because it is. He's never given me any reason to not trust him, though. And, I know what kind of person she is, I just thought she changed. She's manipulative and claims everyone rapes her. He didn't have transportation, because he rides the bus and all bus lines were over, because it was in the night. He left my house, around midnight, and ended up getting a call from her on the way home. He said he didn't tell me that night, because I was sleeping and he didn't want to wake me up. I don't know whether to trust him or not and I really don't think this baby is his. I think she set him up to just make him take care of that kid. However, I'm not saying it's all her fault. It's very much his fault for not telling me a month ago.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 May 2013):
 For cryng out loud OP, get a grip, use that God - given brain you've got.
So he was on a bus at midnight, he gets a call from the girl, and , zap, flies to save her. Who is he, Superman ? Knowing that it was an emotional crisis, not a burglary in progress or a fire, or some other life threatening event , which anyway would have been better dealt with by the cops , the normal thing to say is " Aww, I am sorry. I can't stop by, because I have no ride back. Let me get to my place and then I'll call you back and we'll talk as long as you want ".
Then, he did not tell you because you were asleep. That night. What about the night after, or two nights after ? Why waiting one month ? Simple, because he would never had told you ,if she had not got pregnant.But why keeping the secret ,if he was the unwilling, innocent victim of a bad prank ?.
In fact, that's not even a bad prank , that's just rape, as other posters remark.
That gave me an idea , OP, you'll get soon to the truth of facts and expose his bullshit.
A rape does not need to be denounced by the rape victim, anybody can press charges if they know that someone has been raped.
Tell him that this is serious, that's a matter of principle, that you can 't allow to let a date rapist , even if female, get away with such a predatory act. Tell him that you are going to the police to press charges , and to expect being called by them to confirm his version.
I'd really love to know what excuse he can come up with to prevent you from being a law abiding citizen as it is your right- and your duty. Probably he won't find one, so either he'll fess up, or come up with something so unbelievable that not even you, as gullible as you are, will be able to swallow it.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2013): Well... you know him best I suppose. Although I have to wonder what is wrong with his legs that he can't simply walk home.
But the simplest thing to find out first is this. Is she really pregnant and is he the father?
I don't see any proof of her claims and if she ain't pregnant or he isn't the father, who is to say anything else happened except your boyfriend being to lazy to walk home?
But really, the waiting to tell you and the lame reason to stay at her house, are the reason I have some doubts he is telling the whole truth.
But get some proof of her claims first.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2013): OP I wrote my reply before yours was posted but it all remains the same.
"However, I'm not saying it's all her fault."
He's saying it is OP, he's saying she raped him.
If he didn't cheat then it was rape, what else was it?
He went to her house at midnight because she needed help? Bullshit OP, he went there for a booty call.
Plus OP have you been asleep that entire month? Do you think he would have told you if she didn't say she was pregnant? No he wouldn't.
So there you go. His story is that she raped him, his story is that it's all her fault.
This is the biggest load of shit I've ever heard.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2013): And some more information from OP: Thank you everyone. I appreciate your answers. I'm definitely going to ask him a few more questions and talk to her.
But, he's not claiming it was rape. He's admitting that he cheated and just doesn't remember what happened, or so he said. But, I'm going to tell him that getting an erection and ejaculating his highly unlikely if he was drugged or whatever.
I guess I just need time to think about it. He's not even 100% positive they slept together, either though. He just woke up not feeling right, like he did something wrong, and with his shirt off. I'm not saying this is an excuse, though. But, he does think he did cheat, he's just not 100% sure.
He said this happened at the end of march. She apparently got an ultrasound and she's 5-6 weeks, so she says. Is this possible that if he really did get her pregnant, that it's his?
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2013): I'd just like to add OP, rape is just as brutal and emotionally damaging for a male victim as it is for a female victim. Don't think for one second we're somehow immune to it because we're guys. It has the exact same life ruining impact for us. So you tell me, was he really raped like he claims he was? If not then he was consenting wasn't he?
Which is it OP? Rape or cheating? There is no other scenario here.
He's is such a fool, and you're even more of a fool for believing him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2013): He's full of shit OP.
None of what he said is true other than the sex part. He cheated on you nothing else is true.
OP want to know why you never hear of guys being date raped by women by being drugged? Because it's impossible. In that state we can't maintain an erection. What, you going to rape us with our toes?
OP I was a casual drug user for 10 years I've taken every combination you can imagine. Valium, xanax, Quaalude, Rohypnol I've had them all and combinations of them all and guess what no erection is possible with that kind of sedative, the kind of sedative that would lead you to black out after one drink there is no chance in hell you will be able to get hard. If he was spiked with something like GHB then he wouldn't have blacked out, because even with GHB then the stage of blacking out also means an erection is impossible.
If he tries to explain that with morning wood OP understand we don't get morning woods when we're on sedatives. Why do you think so many men get ED from depression treatments and pretty much most long term drug treatments?
So he's 100% lying about that. Even the black out stage of alcohol OP sex is pretty much impossible. Trust me and ask any guy you know. Black out is something we use an excuse, it's not reality. "Um, I don't remember I must have blacked out" I've used that tonnes of times.
OP his going to help her with an ex excuse is also the biggest bullshit I've ever heard. Why?
1. He's trying to make himself sound like a hero, so you'll think he was being nice, let me guess you had an abusive ex too, well isn't that convenient that he gets to say he was helping her with something you know too well.
2. He went to this girls house without a way home.
You'd kind of think he would have organized a way home or knew a way he could get home before he went there. Nope, he didn't because he intended on staying the night. Isn't it amazing that he went to be alone to play hero with a girl and magically he had no way of getting home? It's like fate led him to her. Wait what's that smell? Oh yeah, it's the smell of bullshit.
Now if all this was innocent, his reasons for going there then why did he not bring it up at the time? I mean surely you would have been able to help too right?
He waited a month and is now only telling you because she might be pregnant and you're going to find out anyway. He wouldn't have told you at all.
Best part of all this OP is, and I find it funny no one else has caught onto this, he's claiming she raped him. Seriously, his story is that she date raped him.
OP if a female friend approached you and told you that she was at a guys house, he gave her a drink then she blacked out and woke up next to him half naked, then what would you call that? Yeah that's rape isn't it?
OP not only is the entire thing bullshit but he's claiming she raped him.
Want to know if any of his story is true? Why hasn't he gone to the cops? If he was raped he needs to go to the cops and report it. But he won't because he wasn't. The only way he can prove to you that it was as he says is by charging this rapist bitch with rape. That's what he said she did and it's imperative he protects other men from this sexual predator by reporting her. How many other guys have to become her victim OP?
Best of luck OP, you're going to need it. You're the most gullible person I've ever seen on this site.
You're not the first time I've heard of a person try and pass off cheating by saying they were raped. Worst of all this is a guy and what he claims happened is pretty much medically impossible.
So which is it OP, was he raped or did he cheat?
Good luck telling people about this OP, they're either going to laugh in your face or if they take it seriously she's going to go down as vicious rapist bitch. Your boyfriend is the most stupid lying prick I've ever heard about. Making a false rape claim is as bad as rape itself OP, because it makes a mockery of real victims of this kind of thing and makes it harder for them the get justice.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2013): More information: he has helped this girl with some problems in the past. I knew her before he did. He's never given me a reason to not believe him and he doesn't even like to drink alcohol. I definitely believe that if this story is true, then she did it on purpose. She asked him to come over and help, she asked him if he wanted anything to drink, she said the punch smelled good. I'm not saying none of this is his fault, because it is. He's never given me any reason to not trust him, though. And, I know what kind of person she is, I just thought she changed. She's manipulative and claims everyone rapes her. He didn't have transportation, because he rides the bus and all bus lines were over, because it was in the night. He left my house, around midnight, and ended up getting a call from her on the way home. He said he didn't tell me that night, because I was sleeping and he didn't want to wake me up. I don't know whether to trust him or not and I really don't think this baby is his. I think she set him up to just make him take care of that kid. However, I'm not saying it's all her fault. It's very much his fault for not telling me a month ago.
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male
reader, Grym +, writes (11 May 2013):
Actually this could all be solved by you talking to her directly. Ask her what happened that day. Ask her if she did indeed spike his drink. If she did, I'm pretty sure it's a crime to DRUG someone then RAPE them, even if she's a woman. Tell her the consequences if his excuse is indeed true. I can garuantee you she'll be singing the truth about how it was all consentual in no time.
He's a liar who probably made her say that she didn't know it was spiked. But it is a criminal offense nonetheless, especially since she went ahead and ravaged his unconscience body. Trust that the truth wil come out soon.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2013): I know you might not want to believe this, but the other posters are totally right. If his drink had been spiked, then there is very little chance he could perform sexually. I mean how could he maintain an erection if he was blacked out? Plus the fact that he would have felt upset, confused and downright violated about the whole thing (he is basically crying date rape here) in which case he would have told you right away. I know it's hard but it sounds as though he cheated on you, and now she's saying she's pregnant he is making excuses to you about what he has done. It's up to you what you do now, but I think you need to accept that he has lied to you about this. Sorry and best of luck.
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female
reader, giggles1992 +, writes (11 May 2013):
 He just wanted to be with another girl. Why him? She could have called the cops. She could have told her parents. He's not worth. He should have call u the next day and told u what had happend. But he didn't he thought there wasn't going to be any carma. It the girl wouldn't have gotten pregnant like she says she is he wouldn't have told you he's not worth your tears. There is someone out there who will really love you like you deserve to be loved.
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female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (11 May 2013):
Very low level of believability and lot of holes in his story.
To begin from the start, why did HE had to go help a girl with her abusive ex ? Help her how, doing what ? If it is help through counsel and advice, he did not need to visit her at home behind your back, phone or e-mail was good enough. Or they could have met in a public place, more appropriately for a "taken " guy.
Then: WHY would she have spiked his drink ? To have sex with a totally unconscious guy ? This does not sound like a lot of fun, in fact I don't think it's technically possible. And how could she not have known the drink was spiked ? was the whole entire bottle spiked ? what for ? with the risk of knocking out a visiting old grandma , or the kindly neighbour next door ?
And , in case this cockamamie story were true, why not telling you right away ? If he had been totally innocent, I reckon it's something pretty shocking and upsetting which he would have wanted to share with you right away .
No darling, he is bullshitting you. And I would dumo him right now, not even for having cheated on me, but for having insulted my intelligence by coming up with this weird BS. .
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male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (11 May 2013):
 Naive. He went to her house. They slept together. Now shes pregnant. There was no spike n abusive ex. Get rid of this guy. Dont hang around for further drama unless of course u enjoy that kind of tedious excitement.
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female
reader, Got Issues +, writes (11 May 2013):
 His story is highly implausible and I'm surprised that you seem to have blindly accepted it and aren't suspicious. I doubt his drink was spiked. More likely is that he went to her house, maybe got a little bit drunk, slept with her (willingly), woke up half naked and thought he'd got away with it. Now this girl is supposedly pregnant with his baby and he's had to come up with some kind of excuse.
Why aren't you questioning him more? He sounds like a lying cheat.
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male
reader, Grym +, writes (11 May 2013):
Im sorry honey, but as a guy I can honestly say this has BS written all over it. The 'spiked drink' bit isn't used often but it isn't original either. He didn't tell you before because it's a lie (a ridiculous one at that) he made up. Don't believe this garbage. My sympathy goes out to you for catching him but don't be naive enough to accept his excuse as the truth. If he sees you believing this one then he'll no doubt be coming up with more excuses for his lies. Nothing is better than having a gf naive enough to believe this crap, if you're a cheater that is.
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female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (11 May 2013):
 *slap! slap! slap!* WAKE UP GIRL!
If it was only 'about a month ago' how can this girl know for certain she is pregnant? And how does she know it is your boyfriend's baby? It would appear from your question that he accepts it is his.
When he went to ''help'' this girl with her abusive ex, how did he know she needed help? What was his relationship with her before this? Were they friends, and if they were how come you knew nothing about her (or do you know her). How did he get there when he went to help her, and how come that transport was not available for him to leave??
Sweetheart, it is very unlikely his drink was spiked. Very, very unlikely, and if, by some long shot, it was spiked, why is he hanging out with people who keep micky finns in their house? What sort of people are they?
Now you ask your boyfriend for these answers, and if they sound even mildly logical and plausible come back here and I'll help you answer your question, but my gut feeling is that you have been lied to and he is a low down cheating two timing snake in the grass. Are you sure that is the man who you describe as '"everything you want"?
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