New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244947 questions, 1084259 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

My boyfriend's boring stare at other women is really getting to me!

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 July 2016) 3 Answers - (Newest, 13 July 2016)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hiya I've been with my boyfriend now for 4 years it's always been a happy relationship up until recently I've noticed my boyfriend has a wandering eye he told me at the beginning that he likes pale blue eyes and long blonde hair I've got dark blue eyes and long dark hair it's getting so bad with him lately that I don't want to go anywhere with him anymore I've never suffered from jealousy before it's just he stares at women in front of me all the time when I say stare I mean really stares till there out of sight he says he would never cheat on me but I don't believe him I feel like I'm not good enough for him anymore even tho I have been told loads of times I could do better even by some members of his family I have told him how it makes me feel but he just carries on doing it I don't know how much longer I can cope with it I feel so down and upset what do I do thank you

View related questions: jealous

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2016):

Looking so obviously at other women is disrespectful. Like another reply said, he won't go blind to attractive people in a relationship but neither will you. By being in a relationship you commit to each other and that includes not making your partner feel second best.

He is making you feel worse than second best by his behaviour. I agree that when he does it, and it is painfully obvious what he is doing then you get up, walk off and end your time together for that day. Go home, go to a friend's - whatever you want but make it clear you aren't being second best.

His reaction might be anger, trying to tell you he's done nothing wrong and going into defence mode. Explain as calmly as you can that you are not staring at ever 6ft, gym going guy that passes by and so he needs to rein in his behaviour.

If he doesn't make any effort to change this behaviour you will lose trust in him. Without trust a relationship won't work - in your head you could be thinking 'well if he looks at girls like that when I am with him, what is he like when he's out without me?!' And he needs to understand that effect he is having. A respectful guy would not turn his head at every passing girl when he is with his gf - just like a gf isn't going to stare at guys when she's with her bf.

<-- Rate this answer

A female reader, llifton United States +, writes (12 July 2016):

llifton agony auntThat's so insanely disrespectful. I don't blame you for feeling the way you do at all. I wouldn't be able to tolerate this, personally, if I were you. Not out of jealousy, but rather, out of a total lack of respect and general manners on his part. I can't tell you what to do, but I can certainly validate your anger. Good luck.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (12 July 2016):

Honeypie agony auntHow about you decide if you want to be with him or not. Settle that with yourself first.

IF you WANT to try and make it work, then maybe WALK AWAY every time he ogles other women.

One thing I'd like to point out though, is that PEOPLE do no go blind when they are in a relationship, they STILL notice attractive people. His "preference" or "type" doesn't mean he RATHER be with one of the blue/blonds than you. My husband prefers redheads, I prefer blond guys. Guess what? I'm not a redhead, I'm blond... and HE is not blond he is a brunette. Doesn't mean I find him less attractive or are looking for a replacement, but you can bet your buns if I see a Chris Evans or Helmsworth looking blond guy... I'm going to notice. I will however RESPECT my husband and not ogle.

This issue is two fold, YOUR insecurity that YOU aren't "good" enough and him having no common sense or manners. So you can either DEAL with it or walk away.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "My boyfriend's boring stare at other women is really getting to me!"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0156332999977167!