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My boyfriend wants sex but I'm only 12!

Tagged as: Forbidden love, Sex, Teenage, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 April 2008) 58 Answers - (Newest, 2 October 2009)
A female United States age 18-21, anonymous writes:

Me and my boyfriend have been going out for three months but his sister says he says he wants sex. The problem is i'm only 12! I just turned 12 this month and he's turning 13 in April we love each other so much that i don't know what to do, so i took sum advice from sum of my friends that have and haven't they didn't haelp at all! so plz i need sum advice. help!

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A female reader, Wonder1 United Kingdom +, writes (2 October 2009):

I would be a hyprocrite to say its wrong.. as i lost my virginity when i was 14. and its my biggest regret. I was with the guy (okay boy, as he was 14 too) for 2 years after. Im 19 now, and i've gone through another 3 long term relationships (being in my third one now) and im still growing and learning, im no senior, but one thing i can say is that sex when your older and with someone you love, is much more than sex when your 12 and hitting the crisis of puberty. So please wait.. if he pressures you into it, hes not worth it. Just enjoy being 12..13..14 etc.. enjoy high school and your friends etc, because once you hit 18+ and you start delving into relationships, it becomes alot more complicated and at 12,you've still got soo much ahead of you girl! :) x x

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A male reader, meganutts United States +, writes (27 September 2009):

meganutts agony auntFirst and foremost, your too young to be having sex, on the other hand fantasizing about it is natural and nothing is wrong with that. Give yourself some time to live your life first. Plus make sure he's worth it. Your only a virgin once, its a special thing you have and you need to hold on to it for as long as you can to give it to the right one. Your just a kid, stay a kid and enjoy all that comes with that. Don't be pressured into sex by him either.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2009):

hey, i've been thru this exact same thing, i'm 18 now, but regaurdless, its pretty much the same now as it was 6 years ago.

Some good advice: wait it out. time heals everything, & it's always a good idea to wait a couple months. This way, you can see if he really loves you, or if he's tryna get in your pants. if he's not willing to wait, then you know he's not there for your feelings, he's there to "do it".

Also, i would be a little worried, usually when people so young are interested in sex, 8 times outta ten they've been sexually abused. keep an eye out, because these things tend to repeat themselves.

So, i hope i've helped. :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2009):

hey hun...im 12 too and my boyfriend is 14 going into high school he sais he loves me and i beleive him just by the way he looks at me and how he treats me i think i love him but i dont know for sure becuase obviously im way too young to know that. but anyways he wants to have sex with me too so i know your situation. beleive me dont do it what i told my bf is "if you loved me you wouldnt want my reputation as being a whore and you wouldnt make me do something i dont want to do". i also know that if a boy got me pregnent my mom would band me from ever seeing that guy again. so i also told him that "we could right then and there...if he never wanted to see me again." his reply was "baby i couldnt live without seeing you so im going to wait until you want to do it." so just talk to him and tell him your not ready if he loves you he will understand and wait until you want to do it. if he still pressures you after that then hes just a sex craving pig and you really deserve better then that sweetie. even if you do SEX IS NOT LOVE! and dont let anyone ever tell you it is i hope you understand its for the best dont do it until your absolutly ready for losing your friends and respect or having to get fat and vomity lol but just remember make good choices much love

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2009):

dont do it......... never have sex if you dont want to if he really loves you he can wait until you are ready how about 12 more years

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A female reader, iLoveBillieJoeArmstrong United States +, writes (1 July 2009):

iLoveBillieJoeArmstrong agony auntWTF?

Im Still A Virgin And I'm Eighteen Years Old..

Your Only Twelve..

Not Even a Teenager Yet And Your Thinking About Sex..Sweetyy What You Need To Do Is Tell Him That You Are Not Willing To Have Sex With Him If He Don't Like It.. Then Break Up With Him..

First Of All You Don't Even Have The Right Age To Be Having A Boyfriend...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2009):

i just decided to search on google "making my boyfriend a html document" & this is for our 2 month anniversary.

i read this search & my first reaction was : what the fuck .

dude. you're twelve. do you even know what love is ?

would you even risk it ? your boyfriend wants sex. but do you ? you're 12. 12 . you're not even a teenager yet. don't regret this decision.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2009):

Oh puh leeeese, little girl! YOU'RE FREAKIN' TWELVE! HOW Da hell are you ready for that adult thing?!!

WAIt like until you're at least 21 or something. GEEZ

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2008):

I'm tweleve. I have a boyfriend who i love like hell.

But i would NEVER have sex with him untill i'm atleast

15-17. Infact, i'm not even into lip kisssing. Check yes

but i don't go any further. If he doesn; understand then

he is not right for you.

Just read all the comments. They all advice you not to

good luck

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2008):

Tell him that you aren't comfortable with the idea. If he really does love you, he'll understand. When you are older, maybe you will decide that you want to have sex, too. But don't throw away your values just because your boyfriend wants you to have sex with you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2008):

You need to wait like 6 years....I was 17 when i first had sex and i regret it. I am still dating the same guy and we are still havning sex but i wish i would have waited. i don't regret having him being my first but i still i wish i would have waited. you have lots of time later on when you get older to have sex wait a while and just be a kid for now. if the guy leaves you for not having sex with him he wasn't a realy boyfriend in the first place and he doesn't deserve you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2008):

wait a little longer bacause im only 12 and sadly im pregnant! i had the same problem and i gave in. if he wants to have sex tell him NO. my bf broke up with me when he found out i was pregnant! dont worry if he breaks up with u if u dont have sex. he wasnt the right person. stay a virgin bc being pregnant is not all its cracked up to be. neither is sex. bleave me.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2008):

dont have sex. you don't really love him. you're 12. wait a year or two.. preferably 3. if you gguys are still together then do what you want.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2008):

Indeed, country woman.. You are perfectly right.. 12 years old is much to young to have sex. 12 year old boys will lie and tell all types of stories, they are just waiting for somebody stupid enough to agree to have sex with them, so they can tell all their friends that they are no longer a virgin. I had sex at 18, and stayed in that relationship for another 18 years. I had only one friend who had sex at 13. She was traumatised, ashamed and she felt dirty for years. She was the only girl who did that, and compared to the rest of us virgins, she was very ashamed and refused to date any guys, because she felt she was a slut.. It took many, many years to feel proud of herself. 12 year old girls are little girls, and should do little girl things. If you have sex you will definitely regret it. The boy won't love you more, he will actually disrespect you and leave you for another girl, who has more respect for her body. Only stupid girls have sex at 12... I know you don't believe me, but it's true. If you have sex at 12 you will hate yourself and have sex with lots of boys just to feel good. You don't understand that boys that love and respect you will wait. If a boy wants to rush you into sex, it's because he thinks your cheap and easy, and it will feel bad and you will hate yourself.. You don't believe me, read this link from a young girl who started having sex at 11 and now may die because she has caught HIV.... she started young, she's 16 and has slept with 60 men.. do you want to be like this, is this the kind of woman you want to be.. here read this link. Sex at 12, will lead to self-hate, sex with lots of men, and then possible pregnancy or disease.. not a good idea.. Wait until your legal, wait until you find a boy that likes you for yourself, and not because your stupid enough to open your legs and let him have bad sex with you...

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-hiv-positive-and-im-only-16.html

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A female reader, Country Woman United Kingdom +, writes (28 October 2008):

Country Woman agony auntSweetheart you have had so many different answers and a lot from people your own age. You have also had answers from people who don't even leave their names.

You are 12 and it is not legal in this country to have sex until you are 16. Yes this boy is now 13 and he has let his sister know that he wants sex possibly in the knowledge that she is going to talk to you about letting him.

You think this is real love right now but believe me sweetheart it isn't boys and men will tell you whatever they can to get what they want. It is as old as the hills that they will tell you how wonderful you are or that they love you so much and sex is a way of expressing that love, it isn't.

The first time you have sex is not a magical experience it often hurts as it is your first time and most girls will bleed.

It is so precious your vaginity so don't just give it away to the first boy who shows interest in you. Wait until you know your own mind and you are mature enough to know that is the right time.

I didn't have sex until I was 20 and yes it was considered late but I knew exactly what I was doing and I had been to college and had a job and had a car and was an independent young adult. Everyone has a different timescale but don't be pressurised by anyone.

Mistakes can happen and your body is not yet that mature, however if you already have periods it is mature enough to conceive a child and so don't let yourself fall into the trap that he says you can use protection and everything will be OK. Just say NO right now and if he is worth anything he would wait for you however I suspect that he is after getting sex with the first girl who agrees and then may go to all different girls to get the sex over and over again as young boys of his age are just getting to know about their own bodies and want to try things out.

Don't be his test girl OK, you are worth so much more and you will know when the time is truly right. Vaginity once it's lost cannot be retrieved.

Hope you take the advice of the sound advice that everyone has left for you.

BFN

Country Woman

x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2008):

im 12 to and me and my boyfriend have been dating since july were ready but we think its best for us if we just wait until we know each other a little bit better we just recently got back together so i think if ur ready and ur biyfriend is obviously ready then go ahead

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2008):

if i were you, i would DEFINATELY wait.

i know how irritating it is when people tell you your too young for things, but it sounds to me like you realize that already.

im 14 and ive been with my bf for over 9 months and we havent really done that much more then make out.

no sex, because we both know we want to wait.

think of your virginity as a gift kinda... a very big one, that only the person you truely love should get. its something you can NEVER get back. plus i dont think future boyfriends enjoy hearing you lost your virginity at age twelve.

just talk with him and make sure he knows you arent ready. if he loves you at all, he'll wait.

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A female reader, smexi kitten United States +, writes (19 October 2008):

hun u need to wait unless u wanna take the chance of ruining ur figure and have a lil monster runnning around callin u mama and if he dont respect u enough to wait then he aint good enough for u u make the choice cause ur the one that would be taking the chance of ruining ur figure and rep

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2008):

hun im 12 to you should wait untill ur older you dont want to screw your life up do you plz having sex at ur age cant be good you can email me some more at imbee.com look for ashelym plz dont go threw w/ it plz but its ok to have a boy friend xoxoxo

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2008):

you should not have sex with him cuz u are way to young im 12 and i would never do that i dont know you butplz dont have sex when ur only 12 plz plz plz

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2008):

I would have to say, that you sound very mature for your age, and you already know that you are not ready. If your boyfriend really loves you the way he says he does, and you believe he does. Then tell him that you are not ready, and he will respect that. If he does not then he does not love you the way you think he does. You have to think about you, and your life. This is a very hard lesson for you to learn at such a young age, but you can learn from this.

Tell him you want to wait, talk to your parents, I know if you were my daughter I would want the opportunity to talk to you about this, this is a very important decision for you. Your parents will always love you more than any boyfriend can, so trust them, and seek their advice. We can only tell you what we believe. Your parents know you better than we do, and love you much more than we can. So go to them, or any adult family member that you trust, and talk to them.

This is a decision that can affect the rest of your life, so please dont make a quick decision, talk to someone in person.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2008):

Hi You Should Say To Him Im Not Ready Yet and if he understands you got a nice boy freind if he dont you desivfe someone better.

Craig (12)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2008):

hi my name is skas.im 14 and my advice is that your to young.your virginity is one of gods most precious gifts. if i was you i would wait until marriage.it would make your wedding night more special if you waited. i know you probably dont want to here this cause i didnt want to but chances are you and him are not in love at all it is just puppy love. my aunt says that some high school and middle school flings will probabaly never last.so dont have SEX.thats my advice i sure hope it helps. also i he ever says you dont have to but i would love you a lot more if you did DONT believe it.my boyfriend isnt to worried about it but yes iv beeen in the exact situation.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2008):

i'm not going to get all relgious or anything because that's just stupid. but bieng a couple of years older then you i can pretty much garnatee you two aren't in love. i'm sorry to burst your bubble but i'm 16 and have a steady and i don't think we are in love yet. i mean if you want to get busy then do it. but if your boyfreidn really cared about you and you didn't want to screw him then he wold understand. it's your choice just don't regret it later. thsi si gonna sound really cheesy but when i was nervous about my steady and i having sex he said "life is short why not have fun for awhile you never knpw when your gonna die". that really hit me. but if you do have sex use condoms and maybe not go all the way. hope this helps

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2008):

Do not have sex at that age. Sex is actually only to have a child and give birth. I think its a law, but its more of a property. You should only have sex once your married. Dont be ashamed either. Just because your friends arent married and are not virgin dont mean you should not be a virgin either. Sex is JUST sex. But still if your not ready for a child DONT DO IT. Stay a virgin for as long as you can wait, or until you KNOW your ready to give birth to a life and PROPERLY raise it. Fact: Girls who give birth under age of 28, their childern are more close of the percentage to becoming theifs, roobers,muggers,rapiest, ECT. Women over age 28 have much less risks.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2008):

The last answer covered everything except the biggest reasons not to have sex at this age: Some people are VERY much more emotionally affected by it than others, and not quite everyone is ready to support a family at this age.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2008):

meh ignore all these old religious or just plain boring and probably religious fogies, sex is fun but its just sex, theres nothing that incredible about waiting for it, unless you invent a reason in your head, and that can be applied to well anything, it can be fun or not or so so but its just plain sex, if you enjoy it do it, basically your only young once, I was ready and willing by 11, and what all the naysayers forget to mention is that every year ye get older, is another year ye regret not doing crazy fun stuff when your younger.

I sure as hell regret not having more fun at that age, just remember sex has nothing to do with love or how long you've been together, whole generation of nutters who'll tell you it is, but well they have other motivations, though it is part and parcel of any serious long term relationship on the basis, your not really in a relationship if ye dont ye just friends who kiss, sex is just sex, its when folks begin mistaking it for love or anything else that problems begin, sex can be for allot of different reasons, and can be expressed for allot of different reasons everything from love to disdain can be expressed by sex, and all this willing to wait crud is a big blackmail, in essense folks say right I realise your at the type of person who wants sex, but i'm not and so in order for you to "prove" you love me I expect you to not have sex and still stay with me until I finally decide to get off me high horse and grow some human feelings and I dont care if your throwing your life away in the meantime.

Truth is if ye encounter anyone like that, get rid of them, they're to selfish to be in a relationship, and you shouldn't be in a relationship with someone so obviously not into what your into, in a real relationship that lasts both sides want the same thing, and enjoy it, no one who wants to wait should be with anyone who doesnt want to wait and visa versa, if you don't want sex with your bf, make up your mind and if your in anyway not selfish break up with him, that way he's free to try to find someone more suitable for his desires without feeling guilty and your not emotionally blackmailing him into not exploring what he wants to and draining precious time away, and he'll resent in later on, i guarantee.

If you fall in love later on and feel the need for them to show it then your not in real love, when someones really in love with you, you dont need cruddy proof you can see it in their eyes, and you'll only see it when they are, bear in mind having sex is no guarantee you'll stay together the guy like your last one may not even want a relationship, or he might, frankly how be ye just ask him or better yet ask his friends and folks who know him what type of person he is.

But if your not ready for a serious relationship that's fine but dont be in one at least dont be in one with anyone who wants more then your willing to give, its best for both sides, its not fair on you OR him.

Most females always seems to forget that guy's have a right to their desires and feelings to, meh throughout human history folks got married let alone had sex at 11-12, only in the last couple of centuries when parents increasingly lost the right to decide who their kids married, were sex laws introduced as an institutionalised revenge against the new found freedom of their offspring.

And as soon as you think about and want sex your ready to have it, you dont have to be "fully developed", I certainly wasnt at 11, but doesnt mean I didnt want or have a right to deserve to have it, as our societies falls further and further into the oldey concept of sin, children were suddenly put on a high horse and pedestal as the one remaining sacred thing a kind of sacrificial pawn to the alter of an innocence, lost by the rest of society, without a thought to the fact humans are not nearly so mechanical as to be judged by age and frankly that anyone has to right to decide what folks do with their own bodies is laughable, and frankly as soon as folks want things is when their ready, and not government or prudish fogey no matter what they might think has the right to tell you what to do or not to do with your own body, but that means no boyfriend/girlfriend does either.

Its important ye make ye decisions on such things entirely without outside pressure and not just from ye partner but from the rest of the worlds prudishness, but base it entirely on what you want yes, be entirely selfish when making your decision, the bit where i advise you stop being selfish is after you tell them, ye cant make ze proverbial cake and eat it and you shouldnt force others to do, much as you shouldnt be forced yourself.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2008):

Don't have sex. People should not have sex until they are ready for the responsibilites and concequences that come along with it and I think at 12 and 13, you would not be ready for a baby. So maybe if you explain that to him he will understand.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2008):

you don't need to have sex with anyone if you do't want to. if you feel that you are to young ar you don't feel comfortable having sex than don't do it.you've only been with him for 3 months i mean, don't ou you need more time to get to know him? I'm a follower of GOD and Jesus but I have also thought of having sex with my boyfriend.don't be afraid to say no. REMEMBER, YOU'RE THE ONE WHO CONTROLS YOU'RE BODY, NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND.

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A female reader, Aunty Em United Kingdom +, writes (1 September 2008):

Aunty Em agony auntAlongside the advice of the other Aunts and Uncles over how you are very young, stay with your gut instinct etc. You never actually heard this from his mouth.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2008):

Dont do it yet, or it will be a mistake.. I am 13 and when I was 12 I had sex for my first time with a guy that I was with for 5 months. Then after we had sex he didnt want to be together anymore, a month after that I found out I was pregnant and that is probably the worst thing you could hear as a 12 year old girl. I have a baby and she means that the world to me but sometimes I wish I could go back and not have had sex so early. Hold on to your virginity as long as you can cause like they say its one of gods most precious gifts!

Please take my advise :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2008):

You should do it. you can always use protection or a glove ! its time by your age that you should see each other like nude.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2008):

DON'T DO IT!! :(

I was 16 when I first had sex. I was in a relationship with a boy, who I thought loved me. We were together for 8 months before we did anything, and to this day I REGRET it! I am 21 now, and I'm in a relationship with a different guy who pressures me to have sex with him sometimes, and its all because i let it go the first time with him too. Learn SELF-CONTROL and SELF-RESPECT. be strong, girl. Hold on to your virginity for as long as you can, because when you meet the man who is willing to wait for you, you will know that you've met the right one.

:) i hope that helped.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2008):

Okay, listen to me. I am the same age as you and my boyfriend and I have been together for 1 month. I can't even imagine having sex now. It is not something that I want to try and I don't think you should either. Not right now. I know someone that got pregnant at 15 and she regrets it very much. Now if she is 3 years older than you and regrets having sex can you imagine how horrible you would feel. I think I'm in love too but I want to make sure that the relationship will last forever. What would you do if your boyfriend moved. You would have lost your virginity to someone you will never see again. There is so many things wrong with sex at a young age. Please pay attention to what people here have been telling you and just say no. If he keeps pressuring you, you should tell your parents or someone you can trust and can help you act upon this to make him stop. Don't ever be afraid of saying no or dumping him. If he is pressuring you, he probably isn't worth it. Good luck and stay true to yourself. But most of all, stay pure.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2008):

hi am 12 too. tell him that if he really loves you he will wait for marriage or at less in tell your 17 or 18

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2008):

hi am 12 too. tell him that if he really loves you he will wait for marriage or at less in tell your 17 or 18

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2008):

dont do it!!!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2008):

Hun, your too young. and thats the bottom line. you just turned 12. your onnly what a 6th grader? and you may think your in love after being together for only 3 months. but 3 months isn't that long. ive been with my boyfriend for 5 months and im 15 and we still haven't had sex. and i plan on waiting at least a couple more months until i even think about having sex. i suggest you wait. if you get a std or get pregnate your future can be destroyed.

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A male reader, Smiffy Spain +, writes (6 April 2008):

Smiffy agony auntPlease see this reply I copied from another question...this girl is 5 yrs older than you...

"well i did think about it..and i wasnt ready....to be honest i have just recently started coming on here again and come across this question i had posted in and i was thinking hard as i cant remember what bf i was talking about losing my virginity to lmao...so it cant have been special or anything...well just as an update i had a few relationships since then and i am now in a steady relationship and have been with him for over 7 months now...i lost my virginity to him 2 weeks ago and i had no problems getting it in...i was totaly relaxed and it didnt hurt at all...im glad a waited a little longer. every one that answered my question thanks a lot for your advice, it helped me make the right decision xxx"

Take your time.....theres plenty

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A female reader, lamh23 United Kingdom +, writes (5 April 2008):

Also, sex at your age can (and i know it sounds crazy) damage you physically and ruin that part of you for life.

everyone else is totally right, DONT DO IT!!

If he doesn't understand that you're too young then leave him, regardless of how good you think you've got it now.

My little sister was 16 when her boyfriend tried to pressure her. she said no, kept her dignity and dumped him,. she is now nearly 18 and dating a member of royalty which would never of happened if she has allowed her self to be used. she will do what she wants when she is ready and the best of guys will respect that most of all. the one's who don't are scum.

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A female reader, xxbaybeegal United Kingdom +, writes (4 April 2008):

xxbaybeegal agony auntDO NOT DO IT!

i am 13 and i know how youngstas feel, but are you gonna let this guy just take your precious virginity awayy from you like that?this guy might not have a care in the world about you but just want you not to be a virgin anymore.

if your family found out what could happen you wouldnt even wanna think of it would you?

you got a whole life ahead of it. dont be those girls who like to *experiment* too much. i mean like it you were over 16-18 years old then it wouldnt matter that much but you only 12.

think about it

S4F3

x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2008):

First of all, you say it was his sister who told you he wants sex not your boyfriend himself so before you start worrying this make sure that this is true.

Secondly, is it is, everyone who has commented on your question is right, you're only 12, way too young to be worrying about something like sex. Also you mentioned that that some of your friends have already had sex, they too are too young for this and you cant be sure that they are telling the truth - how do you know they are not just saying this to show off?

Anyway think about yourself, are you really ready to take this step? By coming on here you're showing that you're not sure yourself whether you're ready or not, and please listen to all of us - you're not. Im 16 and im not even ready to take that step yet, and let me tell you, yes some of my friends have lost their virginity at the ages of 14 and 15 but now they all say that they regret it and wish they had waited.

I really hope that this helps in some way.

Good Luck and keep us informed on how you're getting on.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2008):

DONT DO IT!!!

dont do it!! take care of your reputation. no one wil take you seriously after having sex at 12!!! you will brake up with this kid one day and belive me! there will be other guys and once they heard you gave your self up at 12 they will think you are easy and wont respect you or love you the same. give your self to your husband.give your self respect. i know it sounds old fashion comming from a eighteen year old guy (me) but its true. and a thirteen year old boy is very Inexperienced and WILL not know what he is doing and the sorry part is that at that age its probly three to four inches. you will be dissapointed, angry and bleeding and naa

def not worth the tears no matter how much you say you love him SO DONT DO IT! TAKE IT FROM A GUY

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2008):

Don't do it - you are underage so it is illegal. Also you aren't sure about it...which is a definite sign that you aren't ready for it. Don't get pressurised into doing stuff you don't want to and if he loves you he will wait.

x x x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2008):

girl im 12 too. listen to a girl that is your same age and who knows a lot about this kind of stuff. dont do it. please dont have sex. first of all you could get pregnant even with a condom, second of all you dont know who your boyfriends been around with and you could get a sexually transmitted disease, and it's gonna hurt.

i've heard of a lot of bad experiences before and at your age i dont think your ready. ive thought about it too and i know my past boyfriends have also but im way too young and so are you. i know all about having sex, all about it.

wait at least 4 years until you are sure that you are passionate about this guy. trust me dude if you do decide to do it you better watch out for rumors because that shit will spread around your whole dam school. you better make sure that you are positive, i mean 100% positive that you trust this guy. you know how guy are, they have to brag. just dont do it, not yet.

i don't think you are ready for that pain emotionally and physically. i hope you make the right decision. and remember don't let anyone put pressure on you to do something you don't want to do.

so you tell that bitch i ain't gonna do it and if he doesn't accept that then you dump his ass to the curb because if he doesn't accept it then he's just another common guy who's looking for a piece of meat.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2008):

Woow.

I was Just Learning About sex at that age, I wouldunt even have thought of doing it (: .

Anyway,

Your Only 12 Years old, you have plenty of time to be sexually active when your older. As Aunts have said you don't want to tell your future boyfriends that you lost your virginity when you was 12 years old.

But;;

You COuld be worrying about nothing, his sister could be winding you up. If the topic of you both having sex comes up just explain to him that you are not ready, and that you should just wait untill your older.

I Mean Come on;;

Kissing and huggin are enough for now (:

Good Luck Babe ..

Yoou COuld Be worrying over nothing.

Keep Us Posted?

LOVEEE YOOOOU

x3

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2008):

I'd say not to do it, I have seen to many nice girls end up in broken homes because of early sex.

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A male reader, ChrisG4669 United Kingdom +, writes (2 April 2008):

This might seem like an unusual answer to the question, but I'm going to sidestep the issue of your age for a moment... You said in your question that his sister is the one that told you he wants to have sex, not him.

If he asked her to say this to you, then yeah, I'd listen to the other answers here and wait. If she's just telling you without him asking her to, then I wouldn't worry about it too much at the moment. He might not be serious, he might not be bothered yet, and he might just be acting it up for his sister.

You shouldn't have to worry too much about anything at 12, especially not sex. If he hasn't said anything about it himself, you might be worrying for no reason.

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A female reader, bubbloo24 Isle of Man +, writes (2 April 2008):

bubbloo24 agony auntI know how annoying and patronising I sound but you gotta listen to what we all have said.

You don't want to turn on this when you're older with complete regret because you lost your virginity at 12. You will regret who you did it with, and you'll regret that you didn't control yourself.

I know it's difficult, but tell him no, that you're not ready and he should wait.

If he tells you that he doesn't want to be with you because you don't want to have sex with him, then he's really REALLY not worth your time.

But in all honesty, your relationship with this guy will probably end and you don't want to tell your future boyfriends that you lost your virginity at 12 do you?

Don't think of him this time, make the decision to say no for your own sake.

Take care xx

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A male reader, Smiffy Spain +, writes (2 April 2008):

Smiffy agony auntHi, I agree...dont do it...your far too young and all your life ahead of you. Sorry but at 12 yrs old you both dont understand what it means to be "In Love".....wait...enjoy being a 12 yr old without the pressure of sex....

Lastly...its against the law....

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2008):

I can just tell you don't want to do it and it is outside pressure making you think you should. 12 years old is not ok for sex. Tell him "no way" and if he doesn't like the answer just tell him "too bad". The fact you are around friends this young who have had sex and won't say "don't do it!" tells me you are in area with bad parent skills. So be your own hero and say "no way" to sex for a very long time. It's ridiculous for a 12 year old to have sex so if nobody is telling you that, you should listen to all the good advice here. They are 100% correct.

It is also illegal for the both of you. It sounds crazy, but if his parents found out and got mad at you they could get you in trouble with the police. And your parents can get him in trouble with the police.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States + , writes (2 April 2008):

Tisha-1 agony auntHi, I'm glad that you're looking for some help with this question, I think that you've already had some good advice from some of the aunties here. I'd like to suggest that you read some of the previous questions and answers posted by people who were in similar situations.

Let me start off with this one:

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-told-my-mates-wed-had-sex-now.html

At your age, there are very good reasons for not having sex... but you'd have to be mature enough to hear them. And if you think you're mature enough for sex, I think that you wouldn't be here asking, right?

Please wait until you're older to think about having sex; it can cause so many problems if you're not really ready. I don't care what other people in your school are doing and you shouldn't make such an important step just because other people are messing around.

All the best, and I would like to hear what you think about the link I gave you.

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A female reader, Cindy303 United States +, writes (2 April 2008):

Cindy303 agony auntMy dear, I see your age and I am telling you as much as you dont want to hear this answer, I am telling you not to do it. You will regret it. You are so young. Just 2 years younger then my daughter. I cant imagine her having to make this choice at such a young age. Having sex for the first time is such a special and wonderful part of a womans life. At your age, even as young as you are, you can get pregnant. Please take the advice of all those telling you to not do this. Dont let him pressure you into anything. Best Wishes. Cindy

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2008):

You should definately say NO...

You don't need this pressure in your life..your to young.

One day, when your older, you will thank yourself for not doing this action..of his request which has been made on you..please say No.

Take care.

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A female reader, saxybyrd United Kingdom +, writes (1 April 2008):

You are going to hate this answer!!!

Dont do it! You are 12 you have at least 80 years of life left in you- there is no rush!

I regretted the first time I did it. I thouht I loved him. But a few years later I loved someone else and wished I'd waited.

Also, I was incredibly careful with birth control. I was on the pill and been with my boyfriend for months. Guess what I fell pregnant! You can sit there any say- I'll be more careful, Im not that stupid but it doesn't always work out that way. Instead of learning to drive and getting drunk at parties I was buyng nappies. And your friends dont say around if that happens either!

Please, please, please tell him no. If he loves you he'll wait. Plus there is so many other ways to enjoy yourselves. Trust me! when your a 26 seperated single parent- Making out on the couch seems like bliss!

Just wait you have years of life left.

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A female reader, citris United States +, writes (1 April 2008):

citris agony auntPlease please please listen to everything i have to say.

You are 12 years old.

if you can answer yes to all of the following questions, then it is fully your own decision, but know that your being on here questioning it is you giving yourself the answer of NO, do not have sex you are not ready yet.

so...

Are you ready for the consequences and the emotions that come with this kind of step?

Are you capable of having a conversation with your parent(s) or guardian should you need to, regarding birth control, stds, medical issues and pregnancy?

Are you mentally, emotionally and physically ready to have sex?

Are you mentally, emotionally and physically ready to deal with an unexpected pregnancy?

Are you mentally, emotionally and physically ready to lose your virginity and face the possability that this boy is NOT the one you'll love for the rest of your life?

now if you answered yes to those, maybe you are ready. However, consider this...

Are you prepared to feel regret after you do have sex with him?

if not, then don't do it.

Also keep in mind, that because you are only 12, even though this boy is about the same age as you, there are legal issues here. You are, in the USA considered a minor child and your parent(s)/guardian are responsible for you legally. That means that if they were to find out and be very angry, they could take legal action, either against this boy, or against his own parent(s)/guardian.

Overall, I would say do not have sex. You are not in a position at this age to make that leap into adulthood. Enjoy being a kid/teenager. Enjoy the simple things that 'young love' has to offer and can teach you.

Best wishes to you!

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A female reader, x-kitycatlok-x United Kingdom +, writes (1 April 2008):

x-kitycatlok-x agony auntYou are aware of how completely illegal that is, aren't you? You just turned 12?!?! That's way too young! I wouldn't do it. I don't think you're ready for it yet. Your body still hasn't stopped growing fully and I doubt you'll be ready. Twelve is very illegal. He could be charged for that. Big trouble with the police.

Wishing you the best

xx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2008):

You should definately wait. One, you are still very young; you have alot of time to decide when you want to have sex. Two, you haven't been together very long. I'm 15 and I've been with my bf for about a year and a half, and we still haven't had sex!

One of the biggest way to show someone you love them is to wait for them. If he truly loves you, then he'll be willing to wait until you're comfortable

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