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My boyfriend wants a threesome. I want to do this for him, but how do you organize something like this?

Tagged as: Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 October 2007) 20 Answers - (Newest, 9 September 2010)
A female United Kingdom, anonymous writes:

Hi

My bf and I have been together 18months and are happy he is older then me (he is 31 and im 24) and for this reason and others he seems to be the more outspoken one and I am the one who is lead I kinda prefere to just blend in whereas he likes to be center of attention

He really wants a threesom and after thinking about the idea I thinkl id like it too Thing is as we decided it should be another girl he seems to think that as a girl I should sort it out He said if it was a bloke he would as its important for it not to be anytone of the same sex i would feel uncomfitable with (he was trying to say he didnt wanna bring someone in and me think he liked her more or she was prettier)

Thing is I really dont think its something any of my girlfriends would wanna do and i dont know how to go about organising it

I really wanna make this happen for him Can anyone give me any advice

Thanks

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A female reader, AuntCarri United Kingdom +, writes (9 September 2010):

I would be very wary. In my experience, 3somes only really work where there is no emotional attachment. For instance, in fuck buddy situations. I think if either party loves one of the other parties, it goes against nature for there to be no jealousy at seeing the person you love having sex with someone else. It can be confusing because as a fantasy it is fine. All of us, if we're honest, would probably enjoy fantasising about this kind of scenario, but reality is different. Reality isn't just about the moment. No matter how erotic the moment might be, how would you feel in the cold light of day? How would you feel days, weeks, months after? Try to imagine if your relationship could ever be the same again.

Is there some safer way you could indulge his fantasy? Could you watch some lesbo porn together, maybe buy one of those fleshlight masturbation toys so that you can mimic another woman being present without a real person having to be involved? (Blindfold him while you do it and let his fantasies run wild!) I think any intimate relationship is about 2 people who are satisfying each other's needs and making each other feel secure. If you really feel secure enough to cope with this, then go for it, but do think very carefully. Take care

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A male reader, Echo82 United States +, writes (9 August 2010):

It was a little bit of a challenge for my girlfriend and I too. We have had 5 threesomes with 3 different girls. All the females talking negative about the situation are the reason why couples never fulfill fantasies. My girlfriend and I love eachother deeply, we respect eachother and trust is a must. We started a little slowly at first to make sure it was something we were BOTH going to be comfortable with. We are good friends with this couple, who we openly share advice with about relationships and sex. Before actually doing something with another person, we asked them to video record us, which introduced another person into our bedroom. If we couldn't be comfortable with that, then it wasn't going to work. I believe the two key components here are trust and communication. She is very bi-sexual. But where do we start? We agreed that it would happen in a hotel room. We don't actually want to bring them home. So I did some checking on the internet and found some sites. As I said we have shared three different women. We used bicupid.com

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A female reader, youngandrestless Canada +, writes (20 March 2010):

youngandrestless agony aunthonestly i think this is a fairly common request, wether ladies like to admit it or not. what man hasnt fantisized about having several women drooling over him, come to think of it hav'nt most women had fantasies about men drooling over them? Most women would rather have two guys but most men are wary of that. and its understandable! in our society, women can kiss in public and not be gay, havnt you ever held hands with a girlfriend, or wanted to kiss a girl at a bar. The only thing you have to be sure of is if your going to do this just for him, or because you would enjoy it as well. Me and my fiance have discussed it, and i agreed as long as he did not actually enter her. This is the line im setting on it. you may think its odd, but i am comfortable with this. I can honestly see myself enjoying getting pleasured by a woman, or pleasuring her, or even seeing her pleasure my man, as long as i was included.

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A female reader, livvy199 United Kingdom +, writes (4 August 2009):

Well I had the same probablem, my boyfriends kept on begging me for s threesom and he wanted a woman so i had to salt it all out. I went on the internet looking for all chat sites and i made up an acount on facebook and looked for some girls, anyway i got chatting to some girl and found out her likes and dislikes, i asked her if she would ever of thought about having a threesom and she said well i have but i dont know who to do it with so i asked her and she said yess!!! She came round to my home and her and my boyfriend got on really well but the probablem was is that they was having sex for half an hour why i was just laying there, my boyfriends said to me that she gives him the best orgy ever, i started to get really jelous, but he said to me its just fun i dont love her i love you with all my heary, sooo it turned out fine. We are still having a threesom and i am loving it.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (15 June 2009):

eyeswideopen agony auntHummm I wonder if she's had her little tea party yet????

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2009):

My boyfriend would like a threesome too i have been with him for about 16months now. thing i would love one aswell i just think i would get quite jealous over the fact of seeing him make another lass moan.

Just make sure that you are ready and positive about having one if you have any doubts dont go thro with it it could really spoil your relationship.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2007):

my boyfriend came up with this idea. i want to do it but im kinda scared he might be so fucking her so good that i may get jealous in the process.should we do it with someone we dont know or what?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2007):

I have the same problem :(..I dated him for 2 years ...and he just came up with this idea of threesome... It hurts the most when its not even in a pushy way ..but in a nice proposition way when he asks ... The only thing you should know about it ... is that you can't change him, and if you know that your fantasies differ from his... this might not work for too long :(

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2007):

i want a threesome too

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2007):

Try to meet other girls in bars, Turkish bath, clubs, ...

Make sure you like the girl physically, she must be attractive to him and you too.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2007):

I think that is nasty and to Damn Stingy i couldn't Share my man!!!

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A male reader, Tommy7 United States +, writes (11 October 2007):

Tell him no and tell him you will dump him if he ever brings it up again. This should quickly solve your problem.

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A female reader, Skeez United Kingdom +, writes (8 October 2007):

Skeez agony auntThink wisely hun.

I am against threesomes. I am possitive that you DO NOT wnat to see your partner make love to another woman.Think how you would feel if he did it behind your back. you would be devistated...and seeing him actually doing it infront of you will probably tear you apart. If my boyfriend suggested it, i would turn around and say 'no, if you want to try a threesome do it when your not with me' etc etc.

In my opinion i can not see why any woman would wnat this to happen.

Please please think wisely hun...this threesome could reallycause you problems. If this girl is very attractive and has a great body then you will become jealous, insecure and that will stay with you. And then theres the chances your boyfriend will want to have sex with this other person behind your back after your threesome. It can happen so thats why I think you shoudl nto do it.

Sex should be between YOU and YOUR boyfriend.

dont jepordise your relationship.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2007):

You sound like a pushover. No woman that respected herself would allow her man to have sex with another woman. And any man who expected his woman to be o.k. with it has no respect for her or the relationship. You want to make it happen for him, make him having sex with another woman in front of you to happen for him? That really sounds ridiculous. I could see if you were only dating casually, and not in a serious relationship. But once there is love & seriousness there, this isnt something that is going to benefit your relationship, it will just tear it down. If your man thinks him getting off with another girl is more important that your relationship, maybe you should re-evaluate his worthiness of your love.

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A female reader, BlueEyedAngel United States +, writes (8 October 2007):

BlueEyedAngel agony aunti couldnt imagine my husband making another girl moan and vice versa. you really need to stop and think about the outcome before you just jump in and have a threesome. yes i have fantazied about it a time or to and then the more i thought about it i got disgusted, cause the thought of my husband doin another girl made me sick. really thimk about it sister before doing it . email if you wanna talk further. good luck.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2007):

All guys have fantasies and this seem to be the most popular of all. You say you want to please him, well just what about you? Do you really want to do this? What pleasure will you get out of it? Do you want to see YOUR bloke making love to another women while you do what? He only has one P**is! He cannot share that! What you two got is yours and yours alone and i do not think these things can work outside of fantasy. sorry, but i am so against it. If you did bring in one of your friends then what if he preferred her to you in the future? Sorry again but this is a non-starter for me.

take care and think wisely

xxx

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A female reader, red1982 United Kingdom +, writes (8 October 2007):

There are sites on the internet where you can talk to people who are interested in being 'the third person' that way you all know the score. Doing it with a friend will have complications - even if you only ask them it can cause friction if they think it's odd!! There are also 'clubs' that you can go to if you want it to be more anonymous. Check the internet for places in your area. Brighton always has a lot of clubs like this. I'm not sure if you are anywhere near there but a lot of them are advertised in the fetish clothing shops.

Just make sure that this is something you really want to do as it can cause really bad jealousy problems after especially if you have doubts.

If this is something that you both want then go for it!! Be safe and have fun.

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A female reader, Tigerlily United States +, writes (8 October 2007):

Most guys always want a threesome. Are you sure you want this? Really? The way you talk it sounds like you just want to make him happy -- "I really want to make this happen FOR HIM". Sounds like pandora's box to me. I wouldn't do it. I know that's not the question you asked, but that's my 2 cents.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2007):

There was virtually the same question on here a few days ago, and one of the Aunts came up with a very good answer.

If you really do want to agree to it, then make sure it's you and him and another guy FIRST, before agreeing to you and him and another girl. What's good for the goose is good for the gander, as they say!

As for arranging things, try putting an ad in Private Eye magazine or any contact mag if you can't think of anyone you'd like to invite.

Phil

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A female reader, sexi South Africa +, writes (8 October 2007):

sexi agony auntHi

You need to think long and hard before you do something like this. It can hace repercussions on your relationhship. After you have done that, it could always be there to cause loads of problems. You would be jealous and so would your bf( if it was a guy). Would you see you r bf as the same person. Think would you really want to see another girl make your guy moan (sorry for being so blunt). I wouldnt do it, it would just cause more problems.

Think about it first.

Regards,mail me if you wanna talk

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