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My boyfriend uses me for money

Tagged as: Breaking up, Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 December 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 13 April 2010)
A female United States age 22-25, *arbiegirl08 writes:

[Moderator note: Age posted is incorrect]

im 16 me and my bf have been pretty much been together for 2 years. we've had sex, quite alot and i fear that he will soon get tired of our relationship.

we broke up earlier this year and he told me over and over again, 'buy me this and we'll get back together' but it took 8 months for us to get back together it was the day b4 my bday and i had to give him 50 bucks to buy something. on my birthday.

then i had to leave the state but then i came home for his bday and i gave him 20 bucks, and he wouldnt kiss me 'cause i was being mean' then he says i wanna be with you forever and stuff. 2 weeks ago, i gave him 115 dollars because he has no money.

i wanted to see new moon so badly and he didnt wanna see it, so we left. mysteriously after i had given him all my money. then i was leaving town again and saw him about a week ago, and lost a bet to him and had to give him 20 bucks. then we snuck away and i gave him head, he held my money while i did it. then he ditched me to hang out with him friends, i got upset and demanded my money back. needless to say he almost cried and ended up leaving with all my money again.

i uderstand that he and his family dont have that much money.. but to take mine? when im begging for it back? he spends all of his time texting me and he has no problem with us being seen together in public. so there couldnt be another girl? he wants us to move in together in less than a year when he turns 18. my mom was going to lend me a few grand and buy me a new suv and get me an apartment, but he wants me to pay half and to bring my suv and live with him and his best friend (who he let make fun of my body.... there are a few things wrong with it. things only he knew about, then his best friend threw them in my face) i cried for hours and he still wants me to love his best friend. and to live with him and start our lives together.

what do i do? i have no idea....

View related questions: best friend, broke up, get back together, money, text

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A female reader, chigirl Norway + , writes (13 April 2010):

chigirl agony auntHe is using you for the money. Don't be fooled and get out.

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A male reader, SV United Kingdom +, writes (4 December 2009):

Why are you still with this monster honey?? To him you're just a talking bank account. He has no respect for you. You sound like a very caring intelligent young woman. Most of the girls i know wouldn't even lend their closest friends money. Break it off with him ASAP and find someone who will love and cherish you.

Good Luck :)

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A female reader, Dazed~Confused Canada +, writes (4 December 2009):

Dazed~Confused agony auntI think you already know the answer to this.

You need to stop seeing him. He takes your money and disrespects you. Why are you willing to put up with that?

What do you think your mom would say if she found out that the money that she is going to give you to help you with your life is going to end up going to him?

Why does he never have money? Doesn't he work?

They crying, is him acting and manipulating you. I had an ex who could cry at the drop of a hat and it always made it hard for me to stand up for myself.

I think you need to get rid of him before you find yourself in debt over him. If at his age he can't manage money or get a job, then you can't take on that responsibility.

This relationship is only about what you can give him. Not about reciprocating. What does he ever do for you? Holding the money you gave him while you performed sexual acts on him was tantamount to him calling you a slut. Do not let him treat you like that!

I wouldn't normally suggest breaking other than in person, but I don't think you should even see him. I don't even think you should talk to him on the phone. I suggest this only b/c I think he will try to manipulate you into staying. Send him an email or a text and tell him you are done and that he is not to contact you.

Unfortunately you will never get the money you gave him back. Even if you take him to court, unless you have documents proving that it was a loan, that money is gone.

So, cut your loses and find someone who will treat you with respect. Who will pamper you as you pamper them.

You are obviously a very caring young lady and you definitely deserve better.

Be strong!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2009):

YOU REALIZE he uses you for money, tells his best friend intimate things about your body and lets him throw those in your face, and you are asking what you should do?

Well, you can stay with him, lose all your money, and continue to get treated like crap; or you could break up with him and find someone decent.

I know which I would choose.

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