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My boyfriend seems to be getting lazier and I just feel used by him.

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Pornography, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 April 2007) 4 Answers - (Newest, 3 April 2007)
A female United States age 30-35, *istydawn writes:

Okay, i am having a huge problem and i really need some advice on. I have been dating this guy for a little over a year, but in the past few months he has got lazy. When he is at my house or when im at his, he always says " hey babe, can you go get me blah blah". I feel like im being used and he dosent care about me. Another thing he started doing was looking at porn again, and im totally against porn. I ask to please stop and he wont.

Well, this guy who i liked a few years back just told me that he cant stand it anymore, he told me that he loves me and he cant stand to see me like this. He wants a relationship but i really love my current boyfriend. Ive thought about this for over two months and i just need some advice.....let me know what you would do.

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A female reader, mistydawn United States +, writes (3 April 2007):

mistydawn is verified as being by the original poster of the question

mistydawn agony auntThanks, i have decided to tell the other guy that either we are friends or nothing at all. Secondly, i had a long talk with my boyfriend, and we have plans to hang out this weekend just me and him and we decided that if it dosent go as we both plan. its over...

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A female reader, Astrid Spain +, writes (3 April 2007):

Astrid agony auntTry to take him to do things outdoors or to the gym, a weekend out a sunday picnic so that he gets happy and active

help him enjoy life

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2007):

Dump your current boyfriend. He's lazy (in both your and his house) plus he's looking at porn (which you are totally against) and when you told him to stop looking at it he refused. Also you feel as if you are being used and that he doesn't care about you. How could you love and be with someone like that. It might seem hard at first to move on (seeing as you love him) but in time you'll get there.

As for this other guy (which you liked a few years back) don't be with him either. It seems that your feelings for him have passed. Don't get into a relationship with him, it won't be fair on both you and him.

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A female reader, AskEve United Kingdom +, writes (3 April 2007):

AskEve agony auntYou must be confiding in this other guy if he says he can't stand it any more! First of all you need to let him know you are both friends and that's it! Make that very clear to him. Secondly, next time your boyfriend asks you to get something for him tell him to get it himself! Let him know you're not his slave and he's perfectly capable of fetching it. Do this every time he asks you to fetch something for him, he'll soon get the idea. Ask him whether it's a girlfriend or a housemaid he's after, that should make him sit up!

OR... you could try asking HIM to fetch for you all the time, just to see what he says. I'm sure it won't be long before he starts moaning to you about it, and when he does let him know that's what he's doing to you all the time, "not nice is is?" you say to him!

Eve

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