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female
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asho320
writes:I'm 19 and my boyfriend is 21, we are madly truly deeply in love and want to spend the rest of our lives together but I'm always the one to suggest sex. I'm always the one who wants it. He says it doesn't bother him at all if he doesn't have sex, he says he rarely wanks off and he could live without sex. We are moving in together next year and plan to get married in a few years but I am confused! I can't help it that I love sex and would love to have it every single nite with him but we only have sex once a month. I don't know what to do. Help. Reply to this Question |
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2008): I too am having this problem. I am 20 and my boyfriend is 21 and we too are deeply in love and getting married this year. We have been together for over 2 years and already have a child together but before our daughter was born he was having sex with me everyday unless we werent around eachother and it was great. However, since our daughter was born we have argued so much about our sex life because I absolutely LOVE having sex and he doesn't. He has said he could live without sex and I could never...it is so frustrating. So, your'e not alone and I am not sure what would help but if have gotten any good advice please pass it on...:-(
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2008): What happened since then? Are you two still together? We are now in March 2008, I am just curious, I came across your question because I have a similar problem and I am trying to figure out how to live without sex in an otherwise perfect relationship...
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2007): I have the EXACT same problem. My husband of 16 years is 60 and I am 47. I am in great shape and exercise every day, so it is not that i have "let myself go". I am sick of cajoling him to have sex. I ALWAYS INITIATE SEX...sometimes he just lays there and does not respond at all!!! I thought this was always the man complaining about not getting it enough. He seems to have to control everything....we got to a point in 2002 when we both "strayed" and I filed for divorce after his affair was with a co-worker for 2+ years...me, just some brief flings that were out-of-the country. I WAS HUNGRY. We reconciled after 1 year as we have a son. Men tell me I am "very desireable" and "If he is not having sex with you, he is having it with someone else". I told him TODAY, that: "I will not initiate sex anymore". It is an experiment. If the chemistry is gone, he should just admit it so we can go our separate ways. This woman is STARVING for attention. The brief 8 5-8 minutes I do get is not long enough for me. Plus, his ego is so frail, that he does not want to talk about this problem at all!
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male
reader, BoyWonder2006  +, writes (12 July 2007):
wow sorry 2 hear about ya problems i think u sould talk 2 ya boyfriend about this problem tell him once a month is not working 4 u.
and u need it not everynight but every other night try it like 4 times a week and then try 2 work up & up & up till u get it every night
i could have sex 5 times a night and more if i could my current girlfriend told me she cant have sex everynight and everytime she stays we end up haveing sex everytime and most of the time its 2-3 times a week shes stays and we have sex everynight and the nights shes not ere i jerk off.
and that rubbish about ya sex drive drops after 6-12 months is rubbish because wv my ex girlfriend i was doing it 6-8 times a week and after a year i was doing it 10-12 times a night so i think work wv the guy try 2 get him on a higher sex drive like u
hope this helps
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female
reader, howcomehoney  + ♥, writes (11 July 2007):
 Do you think that you could be happy on just once a month, or is the sexual incompatibility too great an obstacle? He is being honest with you, and it's good of him. Some people have higher sex drives and others lower, and there isn't too much you can do about it.The sexual part of a relationship generally goes downhill after the first 6-12 months or so. Knowing that, do you feel that you can deal with staying in an almost platonic relationship? If not, maybe it's time to move on.You could always try bringing new ideas into your sex life, finding out what the other likes, having more fun, but if he really isn't into it then success isn't guaranteed... Sorry, that probably isn't the answer you wanted. Relationships are tricky things.
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