A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating my boyfriend for over 10 months now, re just recently had to close down his business and is unemployed now. About 3 weeks ago he stopped talking to me, I thought I got mad at me so I leave him alone, 3 days in I texted him again asking what's going on and If he didn't want to talk to me anymore and he just replies "I want to talk and I Will"A whole week later I still dint heart from him, I check in with some friend and they told me he cut them off as well, and he that he is trying to get his stuff together. I tried to call/text again and not answerIs been another week now and I still haven't heard from him, Is it over?
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Keeley345  +, writes (6 April 2019):
He is going through a tough time and coping as best as he can. Granted he's blowing people off and keeping to himself which isnt helpful but...that's his way of coping so leave him be. He will come out of this dark period eventually but give him space. He knows you and his friends etc are there for him and he will reach out when he wants to.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2019): He must have put all he had into his business. He's taking it all personally; and not fully realizing, that statistically that is what happens to most small businesses within the first few years. His pride is hurt. It's almost like losing a loved-one, or a breakup.
The growing success of his business was a reflection of his pride and achievement. So he's a bit wounded right-now.
Keep checking on him. Try not to worry too much. He's hiding and licking his wounds. Some guys tie their egos to what they do for a living. Your reassurances and good intentions would be more of an irritant than help in his present state of mind.
Unemployment is difficult to experience. You know, being an adult and reliant on a regular paycheck! Having no income is pretty scary! Try to relate to that.
Sometimes we have to be left alone to deal with injury and setbacks. After a big loss, we need time alone to regroup, grieve, and to digest our situation. It hasn't been that long ago that it happened; and he doesn't want to be mothered or pitied. Just left alone to sulk and deal with his losses.
Give him some time and space. He'll come around. Romance and the relationship aren't exactly going to pay his bills; so he may not seem responsive to you for the moment. His pride and ego are shot, and he's embarrassed. Don't push too much, or he will push back. You're new in his life; so he hasn't established a strong enough bond to lean on you quite yet.
These are moments in your life-experience that you have to learn how to be understanding and how to wait. He probably perceives this as a big failure. It takes time to get around that feeling.
Be patient.
...............................
|
