A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend who is 25 keeps loosing his erection when we have sex, especially if we move to change positions. is this because im doing something wrong? what can i do to help him because he feels like he is failing me. he has had one sexual partner previous to me and had problems to begin with but it was fine after a while
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2008): My partner an I have been together for over a year an in the last couple of weeks he all of a sudden has developed the same problem. I wish I knew the answer myself. Good luck to you both... We are struggling with it, I have a couple of ideas, or at least concerns. Either its me, or he has masturbated early an is feeling guilty, or my worse possible thought, that he's seeing someone else hopefully someone has the answer.
A
male
reader, rproctor  +, writes (28 April 2008):
Especially if it becomes a scene... If you are like omg your penis is going soft!!! It will probably put him in a panic thinking omg omg my penis is going soft what do I do omg omg! Performance anxiety! My bet would be you should make him feel more comfortable with you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2008): Loosing confidence is part of the problem, changing positions can also do it as I mentioned. He is no superman girl. For you to rush in and masterbate him or giving him head may not help. The penis is sensitive and compounded with stress and trying to perform maybe causing him to go limp.
Remember, it won't stay strong/stiff forever.
He has to look at the problem and determine why, I doubt the doctor will tell him anyting else then what has been mentioned.
Is he stressed while performing? If yes, this could do it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok thanks guys, i think hes considering seeing a doctor but is there anything i can do in the mean-time to help him? i mean when it actually happens whats the best thing to do, is there anything physical i can do to help? and what can i say to him to make him feel better and not such a failure without sounding patronising or anything? its really knocking his confidence
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A
female
reader, Light  +, writes (24 April 2008):
 It's not you at all......It's all him, he is lacking self confidence and it he probably thinking about something at the time.......(about himself in a negative way)Are you pretty - may be he is trying his best to please you, and thinks that you don't enjoy him, even if you tell him that you do.....I think the last bird he had hurt him mentally when it came to having sex.....Goodluck and all the best...I advise you guys to see a pro (Doctor) about this situation, show him that you will do anything to help him gain his confidence....
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A
male
reader, rproctor +, writes (24 April 2008):
Being a man, I have dealt with this a couple of times. From my own experience, the problem comes from either A) Focusing on it and making it way worse than it actually is... or B) Loss of friction after a while of sex. If we have been having hard sex for about an hour, and it comes out and is dangling in the air for any period of time it will instantly start to dwindle.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2008): At 25 years old, your partners a man, so please think very carefully about anything you say or do. Obviously he seems to have had this problem a while and there is no set age for a man to have some erection difficulties. Try exploring each other in some foreplay for a longer period as it may be that he is still not that sexually confident (even though he may come across that way) or try some deeper caressing with each other. Please reassure your partner that he is not failing you, because if this has happened before it may be that he feels inadequate and his sub-conscious is taking over and having a very real effect on your sex life.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2008): Not that your doing something wrong, this is normal I think for most men. It takes brain control to move to different positions without loosing it. Friction is also important if the brain fails to keep engaged.
Men are not supermen. Like a tree, if you don't water it, it will wilt.
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A
female
reader, cupidsladyfriend +, writes (24 April 2008):
I doubt it 25 yrs old is too young for erectile dysfunctionJust my guess:Either he still has a thing for his first partner or hasn't gotten over them.Or he hasn't quite gotten used to you yetOr he is feeling guilty for doing it with you for some reason.Why don't you guys have a convo about it?
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A
female
reader, cupidsladyfriend +, writes (24 April 2008):
I doubt its youI'm no expert but it sounds like either he still cares for his previous partner or he feels guilty doing it with you for some reason.25 is too young for erectile dysfunction
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