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My boyfriend just got his fiend to rape me, what should I do? I cant leave him.

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Question - (26 September 2008) 11 Answers - (Newest, 19 June 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *upermum writes:

My boyfriend just got his fiend to rape me, what should I do? I cant leave him.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2009):

what the hell is ur problem? if he did that he needs to be in jail. he is not "the one" break up with ass its for u cALL THE COPS AND REPORT HIM!!!

make a good choice

xoxxo

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2009):

good im so happy for you *hug* not many people have the strength to get out of thos situations i know iven ever met you but i feel almost proud of hte fact you've left him

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A female reader, supermum United Kingdom +, writes (1 February 2009):

supermum is verified as being by the original poster of the question

supermum agony auntUpdate guys, i know it has been a while. I was rape d5 more times to pay for my ex's drug addiction. I have finally managed to leave him, and it was thanks to your concern and advice that i had the stregnth to leave, you have no idea how many times i have read and re read your supporting answers, thanks so much, i am really finding it hard, but i feel more and more like a woman with every day that passes by, thanks.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2008):

Dump his ass and get to the police. No girl should put up with that. I've been in an abusive relationship myself not to that extent but I still can't do certain sexual acts with my boyfriend of two years because of it. Get out whilst you can. I know it's hard but I'm going to be honest with you.

The chances are it will happen again.

This guy does not love you otherwise he would not let another guy touch you or hurt you.

Get out before it happens again. If you can't bring yourself to go to the police atleast get out of the relationship. If he comes near you again after that however, you will have to go to the police to get him to leave you alone.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2008):

We're still thinking about you here at Dear Cupid babes. I hope everything is aright with you. I hope that you are safe and well. Take care of you always. Blessings....

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2008):

If he loved you he wouldnt want no man to touch you no woman should have to bear that scar no woman should have to go through that to me it seems you dont even love yourself because your still with him and lettin shit like this happen you have to love yourself and no yourself to no what kind of man you want before you love someone else and trust me when you do do that you will no that he is not for you i pray for you and people do care

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2008):

Hi Supermum,

Damn.. WE NEED TO KNOW MORE.. ARE YOU HURT, are you ok!!!! :^(

You need to tell someone, so you might as well start with us. We are strangers, we don't know who you are, you don't know who we are. You need to tell someone the story, you need to let it out. How did it happen. Did they hurt you. Was it force, did they manipulate you, did they use blackmail. Are you hurt. We need to know..We need to know that your alright.

Your in Britain, well I am too babes. You don't have to go to the police if you don't want to, you don't even have to speak to anyone at all. You've told us this and now we are worried for your safety..Please update, your situation is dangerous, we need to know you are safe.

If this guy didn't use a condom, you may be pregnant or you may have picked up a sexual disease. Please babes, YOU MUST GO TO SEE THE DOCTOR.. you must get some tests for STD's, you must make yourself safe. Please update and tell us your OK, we are very worried for you....

The NHS in the UK run a 24/7 telephone advice service. http://www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk/index.aspx. You can contact them on 0845 4647 if you need emergency advice on pregnancy or sexual diseases. Don't be afraid, call them, they are there to help. In case of an emergency there is a pill you can take as long as you hurry and get to a doctor within 72 hours. They will keep every thing confidential as it is illegal to say anything without your permission.

You can also tell the rape people in the UK. They know exactly how you feel, there are many women working there that has been raped too. How horrible, how terribly horrible for you. Please, please give these people a call. You don't have to tell them who you are, you don't have to tell them anything at all. But you need help, you can't go through this alone, you need someone to support you... Please, please call them. This is not your fault, someone did something wrong to you. They are dirty, they are wicked, they are evil, bad and sick in the head. It's not fair for you to suffer and be to afraid to tell anyone.

http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk/

Do you have children, where are they, are your children safe. I am worried for them too. Please, please talk to someone, this situation is not healthy for you, so it's not healthy for them.

Blessings, thanks for trusting us to listen. We heard, we think it's wrong and we are very worried for your safety and your health. Please talk to somebody today, and get your body checked out.

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A male reader, ChaseTerrier United States +, writes (26 September 2008):

You can't leave him? You can't stay with him. Break up with the loser (aka boyfriend), file a rape report with the police, and find a new place to live.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2008):

please im begging you leave him you dont deserve that go to the police no man should do that too you its not oyur fault and please leave him evening if hes abusing you if he is call the dmestic helpline on 0808 2000 247

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A female reader, daisylee United Kingdom +, writes (26 September 2008):

i know your scared and you probaly love your boyfriend but you deserve better than this horrible excuse of a man. Because honey thats exactly what he is!! there are men out there who are not like that and there is a so much more happier life waiting for you when you leave him. You need to tell a close person to you if your too scared to phone the police. those men are scum, if you can get time alone you need to use this time to cut contact so they cant talk to you again. If you live with him - use ure alone time ( be it 5 minutes) to get out that house.U need to understand you can have better than him, he might not be all that bad to you sometimes but if even for a second he acts like the bad man he is, you need to tell ureself there is someone out there for you and HE IS NOT THAT PERSON. If you do not live with him then u get the chance to tell ANYONE AT ALL IN THE PLANET people will respond to you, believe you and help you. PLEASE PLEASE BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY YOUR LIFE WILL GET BETTER ONCE YOU HAVE LEFT THESE PEOPLE BEHIND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GET OUT NOW!!!!!!!!! TAKE ACTION THE SECOND YOU STOP READING THIS IF YOU NEED ANYTHING CONTACT ANYTIME AT ALL 3 IN THE MORNING OR 3 AT NGHT !!!!!!!!! TRY AND GOOD LUCK

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2008):

please!please!please!call the police!!!!!! How can you not leave him? He is no good. This is a very dangerous situation (not sure if I spelled that right)!!!!! think about it, if he will let his freind do that to you, what do you think he would do!!! I am going through a divorce right now so I am not the perfect person to be talking about somebody elses love life but you cannot let this happen, unless you really want it to. If you do, I wouldn't have the balls to write in about it. Please don't let this ride. Protect yourself. If you think it's too late to have him arrested, fine, but do not let this mother f***** get away with this. find a friend later after he is in jail.

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