A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of two years is having a hard time opening up to me. I feel like I'm telling him to much about my personal life and he's not telling me much of anything just things that he fells comfortable discussing with me. With that being said its really hurting our relationship at this point and I don't know what to do. Right now he's not talking to me and it's hurting me badly because I'm really confused about what he wants out of this relationship. How can I get him to talk to me on a personal level? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2007): What do you mean, he's not talking to you right now?
Have you two had a big argument or disagreement over something?
My guess is that if he isn't talking to you then there's more going on than his just being unwilling or unable to talk about his personal life. And anyway, is it that he doesn't like to discuss his day-to-day life, what goes on in his family or with friends, what he thinks about politics/current affairs, etc., OR is it that he will not discuss with you or ask questions about, your relationship and what he wants out of it? Or is it all of the above?
Perhaps next time you see him you should sit down with him and tell him what you told us: tell him you're confused and wondering what he wants out of your relationship, and where he sees it going, and let him know what you would like to have happen. Be as clear as you can in talking with him, without, of course, being angry or accusatory!
Good luck!
A
male
reader, moomoomoo +, writes (26 February 2007):
 you know.. even though i hear all about this ... i know guys who are really good at opening and ideal from what ive seen posted in these forums, but they can never get any girls.. it's sad... we call these caring people "the nice guy" and they always end up friends.. im confoozed =_=
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A
male
reader, fallenman  +, writes (26 February 2007):
 Men and intimacy!
I would start be looking at how well he gets on with his mother and any other female members of his family.
Another thing to consider if he is not an only child is where in his sibling pecking order he is. i.e. oldest child, middle child or youngest child.
Has he ever be seriously embarrassed or betrayed before?
These factors affect the ability of people to share openly.
By you applying pressure on him will just make him clam up all the more.
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A
female
reader, BEEN THERE DONE IT +, writes (26 February 2007):
 Hi,
You have been with him for two years now and i'm preety sure you must know him well,if you have tried to talk to him and get him to open up to you and you have had no joy then really I wouldn't push it...I don't know if he has any issues or problems that he feels uncomfortable about discussing with you or not...
He is a lucky man to have such a caring girlfriend but you have tried, you can't make him talk...
perhaps suggest if does have big issues and he can't open up to you then maybe it would be a good idea for him to seek professional help, keep up your caring nature darling don't let this ruin your relationship it could be deeper than you know
Best of luck
xxx
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (26 February 2007):
 Boys are terrible at opening up. It's nothing personal, it's just the way they are. You get the occasional sensitive type who's willing to tell you everything about his life but it usually too self obsessed to care about yours or you get the guy who cares about you but finds it hard to open up. Give him space and trust him that, if it were important, he'd be willing to lay it on the line for you.
CD
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A
female
reader, help......please +, writes (26 February 2007):
 boys are like that therenever any good at opening u, no matter how long you have be with him, but with me and my fisnce its the other way around i find it very hard to open up to him but he just splirts it out. A lot of it is down to confidence let him know you want to no how he feels what hes thinking and maby evently he will come round, but dont force it on him good luck xx
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