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My boyfriend is sad after his ex girlfriend's revelation!

Tagged as: Breaking up, Cheating, Dating, Pregnancy, The ex-factor, Three is a crowd, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 October 2017) 6 Answers - (Newest, 10 October 2017)
A female United States age 18-21, *artha1997! writes:

Hello, I have a story to tell. This summer my bf and I got together. He had a girlfriend but he cheated on her to be with me. At first we were friends and I knew he had a girlfriend but I was so in love with him and I was trying to resist for so long, but I couldn't anymore. She found out. They broke up and we continued our relationship. Yesterday she saw us together and got so mad and upset.. She said to me that I broke her home but I didn't say anything because I know that she's in pain and it's my fault. But then she said that she was pregnant and lost it. I was shocked because neither I or my bf knew about this.. I feel so bad that I can't stop thinking about it.. I don't know if she's telling the truth but I feel bad..I love him with all my heart, but he's so sad too and don't know what to do.. If someone have a suggestion please tell me.

View related questions: broke up, ex girlfriend, his ex

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland + , writes (10 October 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntOP you and your boyfriend both should feel bad for what you both done. You know he is a cheat so how can you trust him not to do the same to you? There really is no excuse for taken away someone else's man. If she was pregnant then the poor girl really has had a tough time. Either way there is not a huge amount you can do now but learn from your mistakes.

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A female reader, Dionee' South Africa +, writes (9 October 2017):

Dionee' agony auntThe thing is that you helped in the big betrayal because you practically stole someone's man. That shows a lot about both of your characters. Apart from that, who knows if she's telling the truth but who cares? Regardless of whether it's true or not, you both ought to have felt bad this entire time.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (9 October 2017):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntYou have just learned that everything in life comes with a price.

This girl could have been telling the truth or she could have been lying - either way, she was hurting and lashing out. And my, did she hit the target! Your boyfriend is now mourning the loss of a child he never even knew existed. And at some level he will be blaming YOU - even though he will assure you he is not. It does, however, take two to tango and I am assuming you didn't drag him away from him girlfriend by force, so he is equally to blame.

You are young so it is unlikely your relationship will last a significant amount of time. He will probably get distracted by some other girl after a while and go off with her. Hopefully the relationship will have run its course before then and you will part by mutual agreement, otherwise you may get a dose of the pain you handed out to his ex girlfriend.

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia + , writes (9 October 2017):

Aunty BimBim agony auntWere they living together, it sounds like they were if you have been accused of breaking up their home?

She may well have been pregnant, or maybe she hoped she was pregnant, or maybe she is telling lies .... nobody knows except her.

Your boyfriend is a two timing cheater ... and your "I couldn't help falling in love, we were friends first" doesn't hold water. We can chose who our friends are and how those friendships develop, so stop with the bullshit I loved him so much I couldn't resist ... its crap and I know it and you know it. If the love was reciprocated he should have broken up with his girlfriend/live in partner whichever it was and then gone out with you.

So you feel bad and he feels sad ... there's not much either of you can do about that, except try to move past it and in future live a more honest life.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2017):

She lost the baby. There is really nothing either one of you can do. The only thing you should feel bad about is cheating with someone you knew already had a girlfriend. Your boyfriend should feel bad about the same thing and for not practicing safe sex and using a condom. Hope the both of you are not making the same mistake.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (9 October 2017):

Honeypie agony auntEver heard of Karma?

Yeah, that... it just ran you over.

Is she pregnant? Maybe, maybe not. If she is and the baby is his he will FOREVER be part of their child's life.

Did she say it to hurt him? possibly. Or to hurt you? possibly.

What can you do? Well, you are going to have to wait and see. If she is pregnant and the baby is HIS, hopefully, he will at the very least step up for the kid.

This is not really YOUR problem overall though. It's HIS. HE is the scuzzball that cheated on his GF. He could have ended it with her, broken up and THEN pursued you but he didn't he jumped out of one bed and into another.

My advice? Make 110% sure you keep using birth control. IT IS NOT a competition in who can pop out HIS baby first.

Don't harass her or anything like that, the poor girl has enough on her plate IF she is pregnant.

You really just have to go about your life.

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