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female
,
anonymous
writes: I deal with an x-boyfriend. We have known each other for 5 years, 3 1/4 of which we were together while in undergrad. We now go to the grad school (different departments). 5 yrs ago, he mentioned he didn’t want to be like his father, who is by all means a nice man, and a "nice" husband, but in my "friend's" parents' marriage, things are very insensitive.. not mean.. Just sort of blah towards each other.. Like two people who live together and happen to be married. Now, did we stop talking for 3/4 yr. during which we had separate relationships. After that 3/4 year he declared he wanted to see me graduate (from undergrad, he was 1 year ahead), and we have been "together",(I should mention monogamously and that we aren't "official") ever since. The prob is it seems he is often oblivious to when he hurts my feelings or when he does something "stupid". Once I bring it to his attention, he usually apologizes, but he is still sort of cold and repeats these behaviors. ie he forgot my birthday last month and almost did not say sorry and this month he left me outside in the cold with a friend waiting for him to give us a ride home... Lately he has referred to himself as "not a sensitive person". What do I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Stewart Terrace +, writes (22 November 2005):
I would say sit him down and tell him all this if he not going to change get out of this relationship and have fun
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2005): talk to him seriously about it. be clear that he has to change his behaviour towards you. he is not treating you well, and if he continues to treat you badly, get out! suggest therapy if you really want things to work, and you guys can't work it out on your own.
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