A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Ive been dating a guy in the army for a couple of months, we've got on great but hes being posted to germany, i thought we could carry on but hes said it wouldnt work because of the distance and the fact we wouldnt see each other, ive said id be fine with that, but he said it would be too hard, i said to him to call it off he says he likes me a lot and still wants contact? why would he still want contact should i forget him and break all contact off or still contact him? help!
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female
reader, Ask oldersister  +, writes (19 March 2008):
 I think you can still be his friend if you can bear it, but please don't try to stop your life- make an effort to get to know other guys. This will be good for you and if he is the right one, you will feel more confident about it having the experience & if he's not the right one, you will be so glad you did date other guys and not wait for him. I know this is hard!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008): thanks for your advice askoldersister, do you think i should still keep in touch or is it easier to break all ties? Im usless with relationships, i never have them so im lost as to what to do, also should i see him again before he goes.
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister +, writes (19 March 2008):
He wants the contact but not the commitment. At least he's upfront and that speaks well of him- he could be selfish and lie to you about seeing other girls but he's giving you a fair opportunity to date other guys and not put your life on hold. If you choose to put your life on hold, you will have to remember that was your decision despite what he told you, and you can't be mad at him if he finds someone else. Remember, your decisions count too-if it's too hard to talk to him, then don't.
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A
male
reader, tallandsilentaintallthat +, writes (19 March 2008):
I'm just guessing but maybe he is afraid not being able to find someone like you again? That sentiment will most likely fade with time. In whatever case: if you can keep a normal friendship that is great but it may be difficult to do so after a break up. Breaking it off would indeed be the least complicated thing to do. I think it would be good to talk with him a little bit more to understand what his motive for continued contact would be, for solace's sake. I hope this helps
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