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My boyfriend is going away on vacation for two weeks!

Tagged as: Dating, Long distance<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 July 2018) 5 Answers - (Newest, 11 July 2018)
A female United States age 18-21, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 8 months and we have an amazing relationship. In a few weeks he’s going away with his family to his family’s house in Europe for 2 weeks. I know this sounds pathetic, but I’m genuinely upset that he’s going away for that long. I don’t worry about him doing anything bad, but rather I feel that two weeks is a long time to be apart. Am i overreacting?

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom + , writes (11 July 2018):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntYou are overreacting, but I think you know that. "Upset" is a strong negative feeling when someone you're newly dating is going away for only a fortnight.

I think taking a picture every day becomes "text pesty". Give him a couple of days (maybe one per week) where you don't text him at all, just to give him the space.

feeling anxious or upset about this trip suggests you may be too dependent on lots of daily contact. Use this time to remind yourself or things you like to do by yourself and with friends. Don't text much while he's away - wait to catch up until he gets back.

How often do you see each other? If it's more than twice a week, I think you should reduce it to that for a little while, just to get you at a healthier independent state - rather than pining so much.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (11 July 2018):

Honeypie agony auntAwww honey :)

2 weeks might seem like a LONG time but it really isn't. If you keep busy it will be over before you know it and you will BOTH have SO much to talk about when he gets back!

Enjoy your little time away from each other, it's GOOD for both of you. And for goodness sake GIVE him some space while he is away - don't be a text pest. Perhaps take a picture EVERY day of you doing something to cheer him up (and no nothing naughty) but you washing the dog/car or trying bubble tea or whatnot. Just remember there will be a 6-8 hour time difference and he is there on a VACATION to relax and spend time with his family. NOT to entertain you. OK?

I have spend time away from my husband before and after we got married. Longest were 19 months. Me in a foreign country with 3 small kids, no family or friends around, and him in a war zone. And yet... we both made it through.

You can do 2 weeks. After all you did fine BEFORE you two started dating, right?


Catch up on Netflix - "spoil" your parents with mowing the lawn. Go see grandma! Have at "at home" spa day with your bestie.

*poof* two weeks will fly by.

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia + , writes (11 July 2018):

Aunty BimBim agony auntYou need to put this in perspective …. two weeks is but a blink of an eye, in the days of sailing ships it would take six weeks from US to Europe and then, if he were lucky enough to catch the mail immediately, another six weeks for a letter to get back to you.

Its not healthy to be so wrapped up in another person that their spending 2 weeks (a mere 14 days) with their family seems a long time.

I recommend you use the time to reconnect with YOUR family and friends, and to do the chores we all put off like cleaning out the closet or area where ewe shove unwanted belongings, visit your grandma, catch up on your reading, start that craft project, draw up a financial plan for the next five years or simply vege out for a couple of days.

The two weeks will be over before you know it.

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (11 July 2018):

It's good he's going away. When two weeks is too long, it means you're a little too obsessed with having a boyfriend. If you get too clingy, you will smother yourself out of a boyfriend.

If you want to date and have a relationship; you have to behave and think like an adult; not a child.

You are very much overreacting; and it's unhealthy when you become so emotionally-dependent that a short separation gives you too much separation-anxiety.

I'm not trying to be mean or harsh; because I know how it feels to miss somebody so badly, but you have to be rational and mature when you separate. He'll be messaging you. Meanwhile, you need to find other things to do other than obsess about your boyfriend. You should be enjoying the summer. If you're living with your parents; don't be a pain or too dramatic. They might decide to keep you separated more often!

Go have some fun with your friends; who probably miss you as much as you will miss him. Young girls go too far making boyfriends the center of their universe. That's normal, but unhealthy if you don't know how to handle it. Even more unhealthy if you have no other friends!

I would even think both sets of parents would think some time apart would be good for the both of you. Especially you, if you two haven't been separated for the last 8 months!

If you keep busy and allow yourself to have some fun; it will be over in no time!

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (11 July 2018):

aunt honesty agony auntYes you are! I am guessing this is your first relationship and your first true love? It is okay to feel sad and miss him while he is gone, but it is also extremely healthy in a relationship to have time apart and to miss each other. For the two weeks he is away why not plan lots of fun activities and outings with your own friends and family? Use the time to do fun things without him and enjoy it as much as you can. You will both have a lot to talk about then when he gets home. I am glad that you trust him as that is important in a relationship, but being independent is also important. Try not to over load him with messages and calls or worry if he doesn't contact you lots, remember he is with family and spending time with them. The two weeks will be over before you know it.

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