A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:This might be a little wordy, I apologize, but hear me out. I'm a huge sucker, for dorky guys. When I first met my boyfriend, he said the most lamest pick up lines, I've ever heard... and I loved it! He's the typical videogame, computer, WOW, nerd ever.He was 19 at the time, and still a virgin, and never even had his first kiss yet, or a girlfriend for that matter. So, we have been dating for 2 years now, and... since he's been with me, his appearance has changed completely.He went from a chubby (about 250), long haired, lame, videogame geek, to the most hottest guy walking around town. He's extremely fit, now 190-200lbs, with muscles, he cut his hair, and he threw away his videogames. By the way, I did not force him to change this way, remember I loved it when he was a geek! I guess him having a girlfriend, really boosted his ego. Of course I've trusted him, (not to sound mean), but I really had no reason to not trust him, considering girls weren't really crawling over him, and plus in the beginning he was "all about me" his first REAL girlfriend. So I didn't need to worry.But now; all his high school crushes are dying to be with him. Now - he's all about hanging out with women. Now I'm not interesting to him any more. He now doesn't treat me like he used too. He's all "manly" now and I'm constantly seeing girls leave him comments, text messages, being flirtatious. I only caught him once, being way overly flirtatious with another woman.I know he loves me, and I shouldn't worry etc etc etc but he's a totally different person now from when I first dated him, it's like I have to get to know, trust, and accept a totally different person now and I'll be honest, I'm certainly not the prettiest girl. So, when I do see these pretty girls all over him - I do tend to get a little concerned.How should I go about this? I trusted him before but now I'm feeling as if I don't add up to him any more. Like - we don't belong and he deserves someone a little more his type now.
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crush, flirt, muscle, still a virgin, text Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2009): You know one of the biggest problems between intimate relationships is? It's when one person changes and the other doesn't, or if one person redefines its own desires and goals and the other person refuses to adjust accordingly. So if your boyfriend has changed quite a bit, it probably means you no longer connect with him as much as you used to.
However, if you feel you do not live up to him, then that is a psychological problem on your own and has nothing to do with him. If you didn't have this one problem, then you would continue to stay with him and see where the relationship takes you.
Think: you don't need to ever change yourself if you don't have bad habits to rid. However, for a relationship to work, compromises will need to be made. Unfortunately, if the distance between two people involved is too far, then you may look into upgrading yourself. If you are unwilling, then the next logical step is to simply go as is and see where it takes you. You may eventually become heartbroken though.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2009): tell him how you feel on the new him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2009): wow, i really feel ur insecurity girl, if it were i would have probably went berserk on his ass, just sit down and talk to him firmly and tell him exactly what u think and how u feel, be firm and remind him of the fact that u were there before he decided to change his appearance and that u saw the potential that he had, let him know those same girls would have not even blinked an eye at him,tell him the things that he is doin that make u feel the way u do and tell him u are glad that he has found a new outlook on life, but let him not forget who was there through this transition, and i know this might hurt but ask him if he doesnt think that u are good enough for him anymore and depending on his answer u will know were u stand from there...
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