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My boyfriend is always breaking our plans for his friends, I'm sick of it and told him so. He hasn't listened. What do I do?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 May 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 24 May 2011)
A female Singapore age 36-40, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend for 1 year plus always abandoned me last minute for our dating to go out with his friends.

This has happened several times like during count downs and even on christmas eve.

I am sick of it... Told him several times and he is still doing that. What should I do?

View related questions: christmas

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A male reader, a-g55 United Kingdom +, writes (24 May 2011):

a-g55 agony auntnooo ignore the above. dont talk the issue. do this back at him before he gets chance to. wait for ure opertunity. get your own back, tht way he will stop doing it because he will see that as the way to get you to stop doing it...

if you ever have a problem with your partners behavior. talking about it wont work. you need to mimic his behavior and exagerate it so he can feel the emotions you are. then you will get your way!

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (24 May 2011):

tennisstar88 agony auntDoes he do this every time you two have plans?

Does he at least give you a courtesy call instead of standing you up?

How often would you say you see/spend time with your boyfriend in a week? Need some info, you're post is too vague.

If you don't EVER see your boyfriend because he's always with his friends and neglecting your relationship then it's time to dump him. Why be the only one investing time and effort in this relationship? It's a 2 way street.

Now if you can't bring yourself to dump him, then I suggest you cut the nagging(that won't get him to listen) and blow him off. Start hanging out with your friends, and filling up your time slots with other activities that don't involve him. If he cares even the slightest bit about the relationship, then he'll get the point or wonder what's going on with you. Then you'll have his attention and cooperation......HOWEVER, if he doesn't ask what's going on or even act phased by your actions then the relationship is dead. In that case, you must end it, instead of letting it drag on any longer.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (24 May 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony auntwhat does he say when you tell him?

Are you willing to give him an ultimatum?

i.e. you tell him "boyfriend if you cancel plans on me again at the last minute to go out with your friends I am going to have to end our relationship"

AND THEN STICK TO IT?

if so I'd do that. his behavior is disrespectful and indicates he's not as "into you" as he should be.

If you are not willing to give him consequences for his behavior that negatively impact on him (you leaving him) then you probably don't have a lot of power to change his behavior.

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